Is it too late to change my mind?

I  may just be too old for this.  It’s 3:30 a.m.  and I just walked in from day two of my new job.  Damn.  I’m.  Tired.  And that’s the understatement of the century.

My work day started out just as frustrating as the others.  Samantha was no where to be found when I got there, all though she did arrive about 30 minutes later.  They had no idea who was training me.  I still don’t have a complete uniform, although I’ll be tested on what exactly that is on Monday.   I’m still not in the computer system so who knows whether I’m actually going to get paid for this or not.  And of course no one did anything about any of this until the last minute and then they all ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.  And just for the record.  Samantha has the personality of a rock.  And that’s being kind.

I finally got a schedule out of her.  I’ve been trying for the past three days to find out what days I’m working, what time I’m working and how long I have to train.  So I finally cornered her tonight and made her decide.  She explained that I had to do six training sessions and that even though I was an old employee I still had to do it all.  She said she was as stickler for every employee going through the full training schedule.  This is kind of funny, because it’s the third time I’ve trained with this company, and as of yet I’ve never done the full training sessions.  So I ask if I could do it over the next six days.  Straight through no breaks so I could get trained and put on the floor making money.  She hesitated but finally said okay.

And my shift started.  The woman training me is quite good, although she’s a little too “by the book” for me.  There are no hard and steadfast rules when you are dealing with the public.  You get about 6 seconds when you walk up to the table to figure out what they are going to be like.  Are they bitchy.  Fun.  Angry.  Easy Going.  It’s impossible to tell until you get there and start to talk to them.  Unfortunately, Ms. Trainer believes that every table should be treated the same.  And so I tried to do that, knowing that in a week when I’m on my own it won’t be that way at all.  That being said, she knows her stuff.  And I learned a lot tonight.  I actually handled her entire station for most of the night.  I only needed help a couple of times for the most part.

At the beginning of the shift she had me set goals as to what I was going to accomplish for the night.  How many desserts could I sell?  How many side items?  How many this?  How many that?  I thought it was kind of silly, so I chose high.  I added about 15 to what I really thought I could get.  She was a little annoyed with me, and told me to be more reasonable.  I then replied with a “why not shoot high.  What’s the worst that could happen.”  When it was all said and done I met every goal by several items except for one.  And in that case I was short one dessert.  She was more than impressed with my abilities.

At the end of the night, I had to meet with Samantha.  She sat down with me, and proceeded to tell me what a wonderful job I was doing.  So much so that she’s changed her mind and I WON’T have to do the fulling training schedule.  I guess that makes me three for three.  Yippee!

So I’ll be done on Monday, and if I pass the test I can start working on Tuesday.  Which will be great since I’ve had no income since July.  I’m starting to get a little poor.

An an entirely different note.  Years ago I worked out at a World’s Gym just north of SOHO in the Village.  It was a small gym, but great equipment.  The nice thing about it was that it wasn’t crowded and it had the best scale for weighing yourself I’ve ever seen.  The scale is about 6 feet tall, with a huge dial that turns when you step on it.  There’s no way to adjust it so it always reads the correct weight.  Long story, short.

(I know it’s too late for that.)

I decided to work out at that gym today.  That location was bought by New York Sports Club several years ago, so my new gym membership works there.  The reason I went was because I wanted to weigh myself.  My home scale is about as reliable as the weather.  I can weigh myself five times and get five different readings with almost a ten pound variance.  It’s a little frustrating when every ounce is important to you.  So I got to the gym and weighed myself.  My weight was exactly what I thought it would be, which made me happy.  More importantly though, the gym was empty.  There were only two people lifting weights and about 3 or 4 doing cardio.  This excites me, because I get nervous thinking about lifting in a crowded gym with a bunch of ripped muscles boys.  This way I can lift, and not be embarrassed because it’s only 5 pounds and can really start to get back into the swing of things.  This gym is a little out of my way, but in the big scheme of things if I’m more comfortable working out there it seems to me that it’s the right choice.  So that’s what I’ll be doing from now on.

Oh, What a day…

I’ve been kind of bummed all day.  For no reason really.  It’s just how I feel.  I think it might have something to do with being up so late last night.  I’m no longer used to the really late nights after being in Maine for a month.  I’m used to being in bed by 11:00 or midnight at the latest and getting up by 9:00.  Last night I got into bed at 3:00 a.m. and probably read for 30 minutes before I turned off the light.  And then I woke up at 10:30 a.m.  I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no good.  I finally got out of bed at 11:00 a.m.

And then I made the mistake of stepping on the scale.  I discovered that I had gained a pound since yesterday for no apparent reason.  Nothing’s more depressing than realizing that you are gaining weight when you are trying to lose it.  I’m sure it’s some fluke, but it’s made me think about being fat all day.  I was sitting on a machine today at the gym and like all gyms this one is surrounded by mirrors.  As I sat there I found myself staring at my reflection.  I did not like what I saw.  The face is okay.  But everything south of that needs to go.  My gut is huge.  My legs are huge.  My chest is huge.  And my butt’s the biggest of all.  For all my trying to remind myself that I am almost 30 pounds lighter and on the path to being skinny, all I could see was the fat Maddog.  At one point I almost left the gym.  It felt useless to be there.  No worries, though.  I stayed.  I didn’t lift weights as long as I should have, but I got through most of the exercises and then did five miles on the treadmill.  Hopefully tomorrow I won’t feel like this.

I’ve been on a cleaning kick since I’ve gotten home.  Before I start my job, I’d like everything to be in it’s proper place.  Which means organizing the DVD’s and CD’s.  Straightening up the bookcases and getting rid of the books that I’ve already read and will never read again.  Going through boxes, and drawers and organizing things, throwing things away, or finding a home for them.  So far I’ve done half my office space, the dining room and one bookcase.  This also included dusting and cleaning everything thoroughly.  I also now have a pile of about 30 books sitting beside my desk that I’m going to take to my favorite used bookstore down in the East Village.  They’ll pay me for some of them, but I’m not too worried about the pennies I’ll get.  I’m more interested in donating them to a place that I like.

In the past two days I’ve applied for two theatre jobs.  They are one off free lance gigs, but they’d both be great experience and would further my contact base in NYC.  I’ve always said you get your next job from your last job and that’s always proven to be true.  So keep you fingers crossed that these two opportunities come through.

Drop and Give me Twenty…

It feels good to be home, but damn am I tired.  I’m ready to go to bed and sleep for two weeks.  And I’ve only been back two days.  At least though I have a good reason for being tired.

I joined a gym yesterday.  I’ll wait for everybody to get over their shock before I continue

Yes, I joined a gym. New York Sports Club.  It really was a no brainer.  There are more locations, it’s cheaper and I discovered that Bally’s owned Crunch and I’d rather be fat than give money to Bally’s, and thus the decision was made.  It was the first thing I did yesterday.  I got up and headed downtown to a location near work to talk to a sales guy.  He’s probably the worst salesman I’ve ever encountered.  I almost felt sorry for him.  He didn’t want to expound on the highlights of the club.  He didn’t tell me how wonderful the gym was.  He didn’t tell me it wasn’t ever busy.  He didn’t even show me around.  He took me to his office and immediately pulled out a chart showing me how expensive the gym was.  Not exactly the best tactic to get someone to join.  He them immediately began trying to talk me out of getting a passport membership that would allow me to go to any of the other clubs.  He told me I didn’t need it and not to spend my money on it.

I mostly sat there and listened not saying much at all.  And he never stopped talking.  Telling me that the gym was too expensive, and that I really didn’t want to spend that much.  I was all prepared to do it, so I wasn’t surprised by the price or the requirements.  Finally he ask me if I worked near by and I said that I did.  He then asked me if by chance I worked for Company X.  I told him I did not.  He then informed me that if I did, I could get the membership I wanted almost 15 bucks a month cheaper, with no time requirement, I could quit at any time, and no sign up fees or processing fees.  I then asked him if I could lie about it.  At which point he asked me to close the door and put in the system that I work for Company X and within about 10 minutes I was all signed up and ready to go.  I realize this could have been his intent all along, but I would have been happy to sign up for the asking price if he had not done this.  So who knows who was fooling who.

So with my membership in hand, I walked down the street to Duane Reade and picked up a combination lock for my locker.  Then it was back to the gym.  Since I hadn’t been given a tour it took some time to figure out where things were.  I finally found the men’s locker room.  I quickly changed clothes and then it was back downstair to the treadmills.  I did over 4 miles yesterday on the treadmill while listening to my Ipod.  It felt really nice.  I also had my new running shoes on that I had bought at the New Balance discount store in Maine so I was already to go.

And I went back today.  Today though, I convinced myself that there was no time like the present to actually start working out.  So I lifted weights.  I did a light workout of my chest and triceps.  I can already tell I did some good and that I’m going to be miserable tomorrow.  But as they say — no pain no gain.  After lifting, I went downstairs and did another 4 miles on the treadmill.  My goal is to do cardio everyday for the next few weeks as the weight continues to come off.  I hope to intersperse that with light lifting until I get back into the hang of things.  The biggest issue will be getting over my intimidation of being fat and back at the gym.  So far though it doesn’t look like it’s going to be busy when I’m there, so if that’s the case I’ll have far less to worry about.

On a completely different note, I was hit on at the gym today.  An absolutely beautiful black man who was very muscular and very short kept eyeing me today while I was changing clothes.  He was changing to go shower and then followed me into the bathroom.  I was standing at the urinal and he came over and stood next to me.  We eyed each other for a minute or two and then he got bold and reached over and… you can fill in the blanks.  I let it happen for about 2 seconds before I took off — not got off — took off as in left.  After the whole Larry Craig incident this week, the last thing I need to do is get kicked out of my new gym on the first day.  It did feel nice though to get the attention.

Home Sweet Home!

After 8 very long months, I’m finally home in NYC with no plans to go anywhere in the future.  It feels nice to be here, although I have a long list of things that need to be done.  I figure I’ll get started on the list on Tuesday after the holiday weekend.

It was hard leaving Maine today.  Michelle and Lisa were really putting pressure on me to stay the weekend.  It would have been nice to spend a few more days there, but I was ready to be home.  I’m ready to sleep in my own bed on a regular basis, and spend time in my apartment.  More than anything, I’m ready to start my life in New York which has been on hold since I moved here last July.  I’ll let you know how it all goes.

Tomorrow I have to get up early to return the rental car that brought me back to NYC.  I have to have it downtown by noon.  Then I’m off to the gym.  Or at least to look at them.  I’m about 90% sure that I’m going to join New York Sports Club, but I’m going to try and have an open mind about it till I get there tomorrow.  The one unknown in the equation is how much each gym costs.  You can’t find that out on their website so I won’t know until tomorrow.  I don’t plan on working out tomorrow so that I won’t have too much pressure to actually sign papers.  But hopefully by the time I come home tomorrow afternoon, I’ll belong to a gym.

While I’m out of town, my roommate deposits my checks for me so that I have access to my money.  On Tuesday I got my last check from Oklahoma and so I asked him to go ahead and deposit it.  When I got home the receipt was lying on the dining room table with my mail.  I was shocked to find out they’d only paid me half my last amount due.  I have no idea why, but I’m hoping that it’s simply a mistake.  I really don’t want to have to argue with them about the money that I’m owed.  I’ll call them tomorrow and let them know what happened and hopefully it will be taken care of soon.  It’s not a ton of money, but it is extra spending money I thought I’d have for the weekend.

Sent to bed without…

There was no post last night because I was sent to bed early.  Michelle had to be at work super early this morning and so she went to bed at 8:30.  At 9:30 Lisa decided to go to bed, but on night’s Michelle goes to bed early, Lisa sleeps on the couch.  In the living room.  Next to the extra room.  Without a door.  Where my computer is.  So at 9:30 I headed upstairs.  I took my computer with me, but I couldn’t get comfortable with it in the bed.  So after about 15 minutes I said fuck it and closed it.  I read for a about 30 or so minutes before I turned out the light and went to sleep.  I must say it’s nice to get to bed early every once in a while, but it’s also nice to go to bed when you want to, not when you are told to.

I’ve now read at least 10 posts today about Senator Larry Craig.  I don’t have much to add.  You do have to wonder though how many more of these supposed anti-gay, Republican types are going to be caught with their hands in the cookie jar.  Being caught in a public restroom when you are a public official is always going to make the news.  When you are by definition against the very thing you are doing, it’s really going to make the news.  I’m hoping when this is all said and done he’s dragged through the ringer.  Anyone who preaches hate deserves nothing less.

So I was going to go to California on Saturday.  It’s been almost a year since I’ve been out in San Diego and it would be nice to see my friends.  I have even gone so far as to call them all and tell them I was coming.  But yesterday I changed my mind.  And why do you ask.  First and foremost, if I go to California it will involve much beer drinking.  I always tend to drink more when I’m with those friends.  It just what we do.  Unfortunately, I’m on week five of my diet and I’ve lost 22 pounds so far.  Not bad if you ask me.  If I go to California, I can kiss that loss good-bye and I wouldn’t be surprised if I come back fatter than when I started.   I also don’t really have the money.  My friend Lou’s boyfriend is a flight attendant and was going to get me the ticket for free.  But I would still have to rent a car, pay for gas and eat out every night.  And after really thinking about it, it’s not something I should do when I haven’t yet started my job and don’t have a ton of money.  So I think I’m going to wait till after Christmas to go.  By then I’ll have been working for a while, so I should have some money in the bank and I’ll have almost 5 months under my belt with the diet.  I’ll be on a little better ground if I wait.

So on Thursday I head back to New York City.  And this time it’s for good.  I have no other plans to go anywhere or do anything after I get there.  I’m just going to hang out for a couple of weeks until my job starts.  I am going to join a gym though.  I have to decided between New York Sports Club or Crunch.  NYSC is great because they have a branch on every corner.  They also have a 24 hour branch near my new restaurant job which could be nice for working out after the evening shift.  It’s also nice because when you have to go to the bathroom in New York, you just flash your membership card and run in and do it.  The downside is they tend to be a little overcrowded and in some areas of the city the attitudes are a little much.  And then there’s Crunch.  I don’t know much about them but I have a couple of friends who love them.  The advertise themselves as being the gym for everybody.  However, there aren’t as many locations and the one closest to my job is still several blocks farther than NYSC.  I don’t have clue what either gym charges.  And of course they won’t even discuss it with you until you come in and take a tour.  Everytime I’ve done a gym membership I’ve felt like I was selling my soul.  It’s equally as bad as buying a used car.  That being said, I have to do it.  If I’m going to get and stay skinny, it’s going to be with the help of a gym.

One last note.  The lesbians are so sad to see me go they are giving me a going away cook-out.  Tomorrow night about 10 – 15 of Michelle and Lisa’s friends are coming over to say good-bye.  They are all sad that I’m not staying, and I’m still hearing reasons why I should stay.  Of course not one of them has offered to support me, find me a job, a place to live, or any of the essentials needed to live in Maine.  But either way, I’ll get to eat steak tomorrow night, and hang out with lesbians and say farewell to Maine for the moment.