Racism is alive and well and living in Maine…

Twice in the past week I’ve been reminded that I work in a very small, very wealthy, very conservative, very white, very bigoted town.

According to Wikipedia the town is very small.  In 2000 the population was 3,474.  In the summer time its ten times that number.

The town is rich.  The median income is 54,000.  I have to wonder how the people who summer here figure into the equation.

It’s very conservative.  I’d bet more than 80% of the town is Republican.

It’s very white.  98% to be exact.

And as it’s been brought to my attention in the past week.  Very bigoted.

On Saturday night I had a couple proceed to tell me they left Miami because it was being taken over by dark skinned, third world nation “people.”  I mean, when you go to the grocery store and they expect you to order at the counter in Spanish it’s time to get the hell out.

Today the manager was told that a couple had not been to our restaurant in over a year because the bartender who waited on them the first time had an “accent.”  They didn’t understand why we didn’t hire more “locals.”  The manager apologized to them.  I would not have been so kind.  I told him he should have asked them if they’d like a bartending job since it’s hard to hire 200 skilled people to work an hourly jobs in a town of rich white people.

And I won’t even get into how many times I’ve been told by people that they won’t let the valets park their cars because they don’t want “those types” of people driving their cars.  I’m about 99.999999 sure they mean black when they say “those types.”  The last time someone said that I actually I asked him to clarify what he meant by “those types.”  When he realized I was calling him on his racism he began to backtrack faster than I’ve ever seen.

Meanwhile, it’s frustrating to work a job that you love so much but be surrounded by this type of small mindedness.  Sometime I wonder what they really think of me and my chattering on about my partner Adam and our life together.  I never apologize for it.  I just put it out into the world and if they have an issue with it it’s their problem, not mine.

Ahhh.  People!


I told you that my Dining Room manager resigned this week.  She called me and told me that she was giving me her two weeks notice and that she’d stay longer if needed.  I was a little surprised because as someone else said, I thought she’d be a lifer.  That being said, I’m not sad.  She was a real pain in my ass.

However, I went in to work yesterday and an another manager informed me that she’d been gossiping with the staff, being ridiculous in the office and had started going through files throwing things away.  I went through her trash can and sure enough there were files in the trash that should not be there.


Now I have to deal with this.

So as it turned out the owner of the company and the guy who’s name is on the restaurant came in for a meeting.  So I chatted with them.  I told them what had happened and said that I thought it best if I just cut my losses and told her that she was finished immediately.  They agreed.

Today I ask her to come into the restaurant before anyone else got there.  When she arrived I handed her a letter that I had written in her name stating that she was resigning and that her last day would be March7.  I ask her to sign it.  She protested a little but I assured her it was just for the dates.  She signed it.  Then she asked what I needed from her before her last day and I told her nothing.  I said, “Actually you are done here.  You can go home now.”  She did not like what I was telling her.  She protested and I explained that because she had decided to throw files away that I no longer trusted her in the office and that she was done.  I’d pay her through the 7th but she wouldn’t be needed at work any longer.  She then started to get made and argue.  I told her that I was not going to argue about it, or discuss it.  The decision had been made and that was that.  She then said she’d need a couple of hours to wrap things up, and I interrupted her and said that I didn’t think she understood me.  She needed to go.  And I meant now.  NOT two hours from now.  She then got even more upset.  I told her I’d give her five minutes to gather her things and then she needed to leave.

And then she did.

I immediately was overcome with the reality of what I’d done and the reality of what my weeks were going to look like for the next month or so.  Oh.  My.  God. Then I heard Adam say to me about six hours later, “Just keep swimming.”  He had a point.  I just have to keep moving forward.  I’ll hire someone else in no time and in six months it will be like she was never there.

But oh, my the next six months are going to be stressful.

Inspection and Appraisal

Oh.  My.  God.

Things are moving forward.  Very quickly.

Our potential new house was inspected yesterday.

As well as appraised.

We should have the inspection report back tomorrow if it’s not already sitting in Adam’s inbox.  The appraisal should be done early next week.  We are on pins and needles.  The inspection actually went well.  There are LOTS of little things that need to be fixed.  The toilet leaks.  There have been mice in the attic.  The house needs better insulation.  There are few BIG things like the electric in the basement needs to be cleaned up after it leaked and they stripped the basement of all it’s walls.  There are cords hanging everywhere.  The sliding glass doors to the patio leak and need to be replaced.  Two window sills outside the house have rotted and need to be replaced.  All in all though it seems to be natural wear and tear, nothing too outlandish.

We are having the chimney inspected on Friday and then we’ll send our requests to the owner and start the negotiation of what they’ll fix and what we’ll fix.  I hope it’s not a big fight.  Once we’ve agreed on things there are a couple of other small financial things to negotiate and then we’ll be done!

With any luck, we’ll sign all the initial agreements and then officially close on May 1.  We’ll move somewhere around May 27, which is exactly three years to the date that we moved from NYC in the first place.




Will this really happen?

When you wish upon a star…

Sometimes your wishes do come true.

I woke up this morning to the sound of the telephone ringing.  I groggily reached for it.  I looked at the phone and saw who it was.  For .0000001 of second I considered not answering.  Then I thought to myself something might be wrong so I answered.

It was my dining room manager.

She started by saying that everything was fine at the restaurant.  They all know I sleep late.  Then why the fuck was she calling me?

She then proceeded to tell me that she was resigning.  WHAT THE FUCK?

Could this really be happening?

I asked her why.  And when.

She said she’d struggled with it for a couple of weeks and that she thought it was the right decision.  She said she’d give me two weeks, more if I needed it.


Just yesterday I’d discussed her termination with both of my bosses.  Now my wish was coming true and being handed to me in my lap.


What are the odds.

It will me some stressful times ahead but I think it’s a good thing.  I’ve already spoken to one of my bosses about it and he also thinks it’s a good thing.  He told me not to worry about it and that we’d get through it.  It made me feel better.


There you go.

About an hour later my lead host called and quit.  The two things are not related.  It just means more stress.


Dining Out 101

Here’s something NOT to do when dining out.

Do NOT.  I repeat do NOT make a reservation for the exact same time the restaurant closes.  So if the restaurant closes at 8:00, do not make a reservation for 8:00.  No one will like you.  In fact they’ll despise you.  A LOT!

And more importantly.


I repeat.


Show up for you 8:00 reservation, which is closing time 15 minutes late and expect to be seated.


We’d rather have someone with Ebola eat in the restaurant than someone show up for a reservation 15 minutes after we close and expect to dine.

Just for the record, we sat them last night.  And they were served.  Nicely.  But no one smiled about it.

And to make matter worse they complained about their hotel room this morning.  They bought a Living Social voucher and then complained that they weren’t updated to a suite.

People piss me off.

You’re FIRED! Part 2!

So I fired her.  It actually went quite smoothly.  It only took about 90 seconds.  Perhaps a world record for me.  She didn’t argue.  She didn’t protest.  She just gathered up her things and left.  Whew!


I’d really like to fire my dining room manager.  She drives me crazy.  Absolutely!  Fucking!  Crazy!

She’s never really done anything worthy of being fired.


At the same time, I don’t trust her.  I feel like she’d throw me under the bus at any moment.  And she’s not really very good at her job.  She petty.  She mean to the staff.  She shares personal information about herself with the hourly staff.  She’s made sexually explicit comments to staff members who’ve quit because of it.  She’s texted a bartender and ask him to sleep with her, even though she knows he’s married.



One single person has ever filed a complaint against her.  They all just kind of pretend it didn’t happen.  I find out this stuff at a later date.  When it’s way to late to actually take action against her or hold her accountable.  As they say.  If there’s no victim.  There’s no crime.

This all being known, my old bar manager is looking for to come back to the company.  I love her.  We get along great.  She’s awesome.  Trustworthy.  And would make my life a dream.  So tomorrow I’m going in to speak to my boss about letting me terminate my dining room manager and replace her with my old bar manager.  Will they let me?  I don’t know.  If they do I’ll be –




Mike Meme

This is saved from about 8 years ago.  I finally supplied answers.  Here you go!


Four Jobs I Have Had In My Life
— Fly Boy.
— Waiter.
— Marketing person.
— General Manager

Four Movies I Would Watch/Have Watched Over And Over
— Gone With the Wind
— The Wizard of Oz
— Dancer in the Dark
— All About Eve

Four Places I Have Lived
— Lexington, Kentucky
— Atlanta, Georgia
— New York, New York
— San Diego, California

Four TV Shows That I Watch
–Masters of Sex
— How To Get Away With Murder
— Modern Family
— Saturday Night Live

Four Places I Have Visited
— Paris, France
— Las Vegas, Nevada
— Barcelona, Spain
— Memphis, Texas

Four People Who Email Me Regularly
— David

Favorite Food
–Ice Cream
— Steak
— French Fries
— Cheesecake

Four Places I Would Like To Be Right Now
— Anywhere warm
— In bed.
— Paris, France
— Florida

Four Things I Am Looking Forward To This Year
— Buying a house
— Buying a house
— Buying a house
–Buying a house!!!!!



Fire and Ice

Here’s a post I wrote on 1.4.12 that I never published.



It’s fucking cold here tonight.  It’s 13 degrees to be exact.  I just did the unthinkable.  I turned on the radiator in the guest room where my computer is.  Adam and I have an agreement.  NO RADIATORS.  90% of the times it works out great.  Tonight is not one of those times.  It’s was so cold when I was typing an email to him that I kept hitting the wrong keys.  It’s not much better now, but the heat is helping.

There was a fire up the street from our house tonight.  It of course had to be the coldest night of the winter so far.  I had to get off the subway one stop early and walk home.  I could see the fire trucks a mile a way.  When I got to 207 and Broadway they were still putting out the fire.  The building was a just a shell.  It’s scary to think how quickly something like that can happen.  There was a hardware store in the building that has only been open a couple of months.  Adam’s bank is also in that building.

Here are some photos I found on line.

I hope all of Australia is destroyed by a huge meteor tonight. I had two tables of Australians at the same time tonight.  Each one a four top.  And they both left me less than 10% on their 150 dollar checks.  Fuckers.

Did I mention that Adam and I are moving to Portland.  More on that to follow.

That’s about it.


Go Ahead. Call me a FAG!

This is a post I wrote on 9.4.12.  I never published it.  I don’t know why.  So here you go.  At my current job EVERYONE knows that I won’t tolerate such language.  PERIOD.  Don’t push me.  Don’t fuck with me.



It’s 4:51 as I start this.  I have to start getting to bed earlier.  I’d wait till tomorrow but I want to say something tonight.

Work was a million times better tonight.  It was one of those nights where I could have waited tables for a million years.  People were tipping.  I was having fun.  It was great.


We got the let’s watch our offensive language speech again tonight.  They were as vague as they were the night before.

So the shift starts and people start joking.  And within a millisecond I realized that NO ONE had understood the point.  They thought they were being told about sex talk.  Cursing in front of guests.  Making inappropriate jokes.  Etc.

I was annoyed.  Clearly my point had NOT been made.  I asked my co-worker Bonnie what she thought of the speech.  She knew about my conversation with Daniel.  She said she’d only known what they were getting at because I’d told her.  I was REALLY annoyed.

So as the AGM was leaving tonight I asked to speak to him.  I asked him if the talks we were getting before work were related to the talk I’d had with Daniel.  He told me they were.  I explained to him that they needed to be more specific.   It was about playing around and joking.  It was the use of one word in any kind of situation that was the problem.  There was no way people were going to understand this if it wasn’t spelled out for them.  He told he they’d been kind of vague to somewhat protect my identity.  I told him I didn’t care.  Say that I said it.  Let me come and do the explaining.  They just had to be more explicit.  They had to let people know that the use of the word faggot or maricon would not be tolerated anymore than the word nigger.

Side note:

In the last two days there has been a lot of drama about the school board member who wrote appalling things on his Facebook page.  The story was picked up by CNN and Anderson Cooper did a story about it on AC360.  What I find interesting was that he didn’t have any problem repeating the word fag in reference to what had been said.  He read it as a direct quote.  But then said would it be the same if the “n” word had been used.  It somewhat offends me that it’s okay to repeat the word fag but the word nigger is so much more offensive that it can’t even be uttered even as an example .  Is it a double standard?  Is it the same?  You tell me.

So I go back to work and it was only about three minutes later people are bitching about not being able to joke around anymore.

And finally I said.

“The conversation had nothing to do with sex jokes.  Innuendos.  The joking around that we do.  It was about the use of the word fag.  And how it’s become okay for people to toss it around whenever they want with no regard to it’s meaning or implication.  I find the word offensive.  I don’t think it should be used ever.  Especially at work.  Especially around me.”

That sort of ended the conversation.

Except for Steven.  Who needed to discuss it.  How do I describe Steven.  He’s from Long Island.  He is the stereotypical (Jersey Shore looking) long island “dude”  His Facebook screen name was Powa Haus when he started work with me.  He’s a tool through and through.  We don’t agree on much.  He’s a conservative teabagger.  Needless to say we don’t see eye to eye.

So he wants to discuss.

So we discuss.

And it’s mostly him spouting off stupid shit and trying to make it seem like it’s not so bad.

And I say.

“You know.  In the last two months there have been seven kids kill themselves because of gay bullying.  It’s my belief that if you are throwing the word around here, then you are throwing the word around elsewhere.  And that it’s not inconceivable that it’s been thrown around in front of kids.  Teaching them hate.  Teaching them ignorance.  Teaching them intolerance.  And even worse.  Teaching potentially gay kids that they are less than.”

He stops me. And says.

“You can’t tell me kids are killing themselves because of bullying.  Everyone gets bullied.  I was bullied because I was fat.  Did I kill myself.  Fuck no.  It just made me want to lose weight.”

The rest of the conversation really went no where.  He wouldn’t listen to any of my points.

And my point.

Yes.  All kids get bullied.  They are too tall.  Too short.  Too skinny.  Too fat.  Too rich.  Too poor.  Yes.  It’s true.  I’m sorry that you got teased as a child.  But you have no idea what it’s like to grow up gay.  No idea.



Bonnie’s Meme

60 Things You Can’t Possibly Know About Me

1.What is in the back seat of your car right now?

Nothing.  It’s empty.  In the front seat I have my ice scraper.  An envelope containing a check to the snow plow guy and some napkins.


2.When was the last time you threw up?  A couple of weeks ago.  I was drunk.


3.What’s your favorite word or phrase?  According to my employees it’s “No.  And I’ll tell you why!”


4.Name 3 people who made you smile today?  Adam.  That’s it.


5.What were you doing at 8 am this morning?  Sleeping.  Very soundly.


6.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?  Watching TV.  Drinking a glass of wine.


7.What was your first car?  1971 Chevy Impala.  Brown.


9.What is the last thing you said aloud?  I said goodbye to my mom on the phone.


10.What is the best ice cream flavor?  Vanilla.  Hands down.  Vanilla.


11.What was the last thing you had to drink?  I’m drinking  a bourbon on the rocks right now.  Widow Jane.  Oh.  And a Diet Coke.


12.What are you wearing right now?  Boxer shorts.  A long sleeved t-shirt.  Socks.


13.What was the last thing you ate?  I had a salad about an hour ago.


14.Have you bought any new clothing items this week?  I haven’t bought any new clothes in a long time.


15.When was the last time you ran?  Last summer.


16.What’s the last sporting event you watched?  Ugh.  I have no idea.  I didn’t even watch the Super Bowl.


17.If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?  Paris, France.  I love it there.  I’d love to explore it with Adam.


18.Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?  What is My Space?  On Facebook it was a friend of Adam’s who’s old roommate died unexpectedly over the weekend.


19.Ever go camping?  I hate camping.  Motel 6 is camping to me.


20.Do you have a tan?  No.  Not even close.


21.Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?  Not that I recall.


22.What should you be doing now?  Getting ready for bed.


23.Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?  I hardly ever use them.


24.Do you drink your soda from a straw?  Every morning.  I buy a 1.00 Diet Coke from the McDonald’s up the street.


25.What did your last text message recieved say?  Cool.  Room 112.  Front door take a left.


26.Are you someone’s best friend?  Adam’s???


27.What are you doing tomorrow?  Working.  All day.  I have to be there early.


28.Where is your mom right now?  Sleeping.  In Kentucky.


29.Look to your left, what do you see?  A chest of drawers I bought in Cincinnati in 1997.


30.What color is your watch?  Blue  I bought a really nice watch in NYC last October but I’m allergic to the band.  I’m still recovering.

31.What do you think of when you think of Australia?  Kangaroos.

32.  Ever ridden on a roller coaster?  Yes.  Many times yes.  The best coaster is The Beast in Cincinnnati.

33.Birthstone?  Diamond.


34.Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?  ALWAYS the drive through.


35.Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?  Again.  What is MY SPACE?  I do have some friends on Facebook I don’t care for.


36.Do you have a dog?  Absolutely not.  NEVER.  EVER.  EVER.  AGAIN!


37.Last person you talked to on the phone?  My mom.  Around 8:30 tonight.


38.Have you met anyone famous?  Yes.  A few times.  Queen Latifah is someone who comes to mind.  I got her drunk by serving her tequila in the late 90’s/early 00’s.


39.Any plans today?  I need to get to bed as soon as I hit publish.


40.Who’d you get this from?  My friend Bonnie about 6 or 7 years ago.  I have a lot of these saved in my drafts.  I’ll do them over the next few weeks.


41.Are you happy?  I think so.  The happiest I’ve been in years.  Life with Adam is good.  We are trying to buy a house.  Life really is okay.


42.Where are you right now?  Sitting in the guest room.  Looking at my computer that needs to be replaced that won’t be replace until after we buy the house.


43.Biggest annoyance in your life right now?  Not knowing whether we are going to get the house or not.


44.Last song listened to?  A song on the radio that I don’t know the name of.


45.Last movie you saw?  Uhm.  Selma.  Maybe?


46.Are you allergic to anything?  Seasonal allergies.  Nothing too serious.


47.Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?  My slip on shoes that I bought at Macy’s in Vegas.

48.Are you jealous of anyone?  Not that I can think of.

49.Are you married?  No.  And I don’t think I’ll ever be married.


50.Is anyone jealous of you?  Not that I know of.


51.What time is it?  11:28 P.M.  I need to go to bed.


52.Do any of your friends have children?  None of our close friends have kids.


53.Do you eat healthy?  Sometimes.  Today I did.


54.What do you usually do during the day?  Work Thursday through Monday.  Watch TV on Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s.


55.Do you hate anyone right now?  Jen.  My FOH manager.  She really, really doesn’t like me.  And I REALLY, REALLY don’t care.


56.Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?  I don’t know about the exact word hello.  I say hi to a lot of people all day.


57.How many kids do you want when your older?  NADA!  ZILCH!  NONE!  ZERO!  ABSOLUTELY NOT!


58.How old will you be turning on your next birthday?  50 in April


59.Have you ever been to Six Flags?  In Missouri.  And Atlanta.


60.How did you get one of your scars?  I was burned by scalding water on my legs and my back when I was 1.5 years old.  I still have the scars but it doesn’t bother me life it did when I was a kid.


That’s it.  Any questions?