The Land of the Giants…

The Land of the Giants beckons. I must return. Tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. my roommate Chuck and I are walking to the local diner and having breakfast. Afterwards, I’ll comeback, load the car and then will be on my way to Iowa. According to Mapquest its 1064 miles. Which translates to almost 17 hours worth of driving. I’m probably too old to do this in one day, but what’s life without a little adventure.

Of course that’s without any pitstops. Who knows what kind of fun might lie in waiting tomorrow as I drive across I-80. If nothing else there’s The Brown Bag Bookstore in Ottawa, Illinois that proved to be so much fun on the trip out. I figure it’s my last chance for fun before I’m in the desolate, lonely world of Iowa. Of course I’ll fill everyone in on the details when I arrive.

On a different note, my roommate and I were talking tonight. Last week I told him that I had been writing a blog and about my little on-line community. He asked if he could read it and since I only have the nicest things to say about him…so far, I said of course. This brings to three the number of people in my “real” life who know about my blog. Michelle, Todd, and now Chuck.

So tonight, we were chatting and he was joking that I hadn’t filled him in on all the details of my trip back east. I had left out the parts about why it took so long to get to my mom’s house and the stops along the way. This led to his teasing me about it and then his confession that he had never been to an adult bookstore. Nor a bath house. And only one back room of a bar. At first I thought he was teasing. What gay man hasn’t been to a gay bookstore. I grew up with them. It’s where I went for sex before I was old enough to get

adult_books_payphone1.jpg

into the bars. They have allowed for many hours of adult fun through the years. So I guess my question for my 10 readers out there. Have you ever been to an adult bookstore for something other than your latest copy of “Boy’s Gone Wild?” You don’t have to be graphic. It’s just an informal poll from one gay man to another.

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Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.

I’m back in NYC. I arrived here around 4:00 this afternoon. The trip back was far less eventful than the trip up. I came back a different way and it cut about an hour and a half off the trip. Needless to say, I was kicking myself for not listening to Mapquest in the first place. I guess that’s what I get for thinking that I’m smarter than the computer. Won’t let that happen again.

So let’s see what’s been going on. Maine was wonderful. Spent two days just being lazy and hanging out. I did some shopping. I spent most of the afternoon on Monday looking for a new digital camera. I think I figured out what happened to my old one. The guy at Best Buy seemed to think that I had sat on it. Which is entirely possible. I had been carrying it around in my coat pocket and it’s a definite possibility that at some point I sat on my camera. After much looking, and talking, and thinking, and deliberating I ultimately decided to buy the same camera I had in the first place. The sales help at Sears was the best and since everyone has the same price that’s where I bought it.

We also made a quick trip to Freeport to go the L.L. Bean store. I was looking for a pair of shoes that they were out of when I visited in December. Unfortunately I discovered that they are now only carried in the catalog and not in the store, so if I decide to get them, I’ll have to order them from online.

We also went to the movies. We saw The Shooter. I love me some Marky Mark….hmmmmm. He only killed about 250 people in the movie including a U.S. Senator. Of course the Senator deserved it, but there were one or two people who probably didn’t. It was interesting premise based on a conspiracy to assassinate a dignitary from Ethiopia. The crime is then blamed on Mark Wahlberg who spends the rest of the movie trying to prove his innocents. It’s intense and violent and a fun way to spend the afternoon.

Michelle, Lisa (her girlfriend) and I also went to the theatre last night. We saw Intimate Apparel at the Portland Stage Company. It was a great production and I love any chance to see live theatre. We finished up my trip by having breakfast at Big Mama’s Diner this morning. Then we said our goodbyes and I was on my way.

I had a great time. It was a little sad when I left because I knew that I wouldn’t see Michelle again for at least 6 or 7 months because of my schedule. Of course the nice thing is that no matter how long we go without seeing each other, it’ll be like we’ve never been apart when we see each other next. That’s why we’re best friends.

Maine–The Way Life Ought To Be!

I drove to Maine today.  It was the longest drive of the trip so far.  It should have taken 5.5 hours and it took almost 8.  My average speed for the first two hours was about 7 miles per hour.   The traffic was insane in NYC.  And the drivers are crazy.  They switch lanes without warning, whether there’s space or not.  At one point an inpatient car was driving on the left-hand shoulder of the highway.  Then there were the motorcyclists going about 85 when everyone else was sitting still.  It was very nerve wracking.

Of course things didn’t get any better once I got out of NYC.  The drivers outside the city favored slower speeds despite the fact the speed limit was 65 miles per hour.  I passed a ton of cars going around 55, and breaking every so often.  I often think the slower drivers are more dangerous than the fast ones.  At least the speeders are moving.  Today I was driving along and the person in front of me would break for no reason.  It was also nerve wracking.

And then there was Connecticut.  As someone who has driven across the country many, many times.  Hands down Conncecticut is the worst state to drive in.  First the exits are not illuminated in anyway.  They are just dark voids in the abyss.  Second, they conveniently don’t have the signs saying McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King at this exit.  They have little symbols indicating this exit has gas, food and lodging.  What they don’t tell you is that when you get off the highway you’ll have to drive ten miles to find it.  At one exit I drove along trying to follow the signs and got dumped back on I-95 going south.  At another exit I got off only to discover there was not an entrance back on going north.  It took 4 attempts to find an exit with gas.  Of course the gas cost a million dollars a gallon and only served Diet Pepsi.  So I got gas and thought I would go to the McDonald’s next door for Diet Coke.  But guess what they were out of Diet Coke.  Fuck!

This meant that I had to venture off the highway again for a drink.  Before you tell me I’m silly.  One of the nice things about traveling by yourself is that you can stop when you want, where you want, why you want.  And I MUST have Diet Coke from a fountain in the car while I drive.  Luckily for me, I crossed the state line into Rhode Island and I was saved.

The rest of the trip was without incident and I finally arrived around midnight.  I’ll be here until Wednesday.  Oh, and if you guys are wondering why I haven’t posted any pictures of my trip it’s because my relatively new digital camera has bitten the dust.  The screen is a mixture of nonsense images of different colors.  I’m hoping to get to Best Buy tomorrow to get a new one.  If I do, I’ll post some pictures of Maine.

Have a great week.

I’m Late, I’m Late…

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before on my blog but I hate being late.  It causes me great stress to know that I am running late for anything.  The importance and relevance of the event doesn’t matter.  It could be a doctor’s appointment, a movie, a date, school, work.  It doesn’t matter.  I’m almost always on time.  In fact, I’m almost always early.  It’s a very rare occasion when I arrive at the scheduled time.  It can be kind of embarrassing when it’s a party and I’m there 15 minutes before the start time.   More often than not, I sit in the parking lot and way till an appropriate time to “arrive.”

Over the years I’ve come to realize that everyone else is not this way.  And with gay men it’s even worse.  I’ve had way too many friends to count that couldn’t be on time if there life depended on it.  That being said it annoys me when I’m kept waiting.  I’m also annoyed when others don’t appreciate that my time is just as valid as theirs.

For example tonight.  I was scheduled to have dinner with my friend Sean and his boyfriend.  This had been scheduled all week but I received a phone call from Sean this morning letting me know that he was very ill and letting me know that dinner might have to be postponed.  No problem, I completely understood.  The message told me to call him at four when he was off work and he would let me know then if dinner was still on.  I left a message for him at four and he called back about 10 minutes later.  He was feeling much better, so we could still get together around 7:00.

This was great since I had not seen him since I got back to NYC.  However, at 6:30 he calls me to let me know that the time would have to be pushed back to 7:30.  He doesn’t give an excuse and I don’t ask for one.  It was really no big deal.  Which would be fine except that at 7:15 just as I’m putting on my coat to leave (the restaurant is just up the street) his boyfriend calls to say it’s going to be 8:00 now.  Once again no excuse.  Just changing the time.

This completely annoyed me.  Luckily I hadn’t left my apartment yet, but still.  We agreed on a set time and I planned my schedule accordingly.  I know it’s not that big of a deal.  But at the time I was completely put out.  I agreed to a scheduled time and it’s not that hard to stick with it.  Of course I didn’t say anything to them but I was in a bad mood till at least half way through dinner.  It finally lifted but I hated that it was issue to begin with.

I’m usually pretty good about just letting it go, but tonight for some reason it just stuck with me.  I’m over it now, I’m just sharing with you guys what was going on tonight.  I won’t hold it against them, although it’s not the first time they’ve done this.  They are nowhere close to being as bad as my friend Arthur in San Diego who is late for everything.  One of the last times we went to theatre he showed up at 8:15.  The curtain was at 8:00.  He had the tickets so I didn’t get to see the show.  I had actually already gone when he arrived.  I was so angry at the time that it was months before I agreed to do anything with him again.  Even now, I schedule our activities with a 30 minute grace period.  If he needs to be at dinner at 6:00 I tell him 5:30.  I don’t know if he’s caught on, but it’s making it bearable to socialize with him again.

I guess I just need to learn to breathe and let things go.  AHHHHHHH!

Everything was beautiful at the ballet…

It was another day for theatrical outings.  My roommate Chuck has decided to make a more concerted effort to take advantage of the opportunities that are provided to him in NYC.  So in an effort to do this he decided that he would get me tickets to the theatre for my birthday.  (It’s April 12.  Shop early.  It takes a while for mail to get to Iowa.)  So tonight we attended Edward Scissorhands, Matthew Bournes’ new stage adaptation of the Tim Burton movie.

I saw Matthew Bournes’ Swan Lake here in New York many years ago and loved it.  It had all male swan dancers and was very homoerotic.  It was incredibly moving and I have to admit that I cried at the end.  Tonight’s performance although not as moving was still an amazing night.  The show was great.  The mixture of ballet and modern dance worked incredibly well.  And before you guys start getting bored, there were no girls in tutus on point.  In fact, in one scene, several of the dancers were shirtless at a backyard barbecue and they were hot, hot, hot!

The ballet is very faithful to the movie and tells the story quite nicely.  My roommate and I were talking at intermission about whether we would be able to follow the plot if we hadn’t seen the movie.  We both agreed it would be easy, since the story was so clearly told through dance.  I should also add that the scenery and lighting were near perfect. There are things I might have done differently but they didn’t hire me so I guess we’ll never know.

Now for the shitty part of the evening.  Chuck and I had just found our seats when the people in the row behind us arrived.  It was two women, a man and two VERY small children.  One of the kids was about 3.5 and the other was about 6.  They were far to young to be at this show and it was quickly made apparent.  If my chair was kicked once during the show it was kicked a million times.  In fact during Act 2 it was a constant.  The 6 year old wanted to go to sleep and couldn’t get comfortable so he kicked and kicked.  The 3.5 year old little girl cried through most of Act 1 because it was scary.  She said over and over “I don’t like this.”  It was cute the first time.  And the icing on the cake.  The 6 year old was sick.  He had the most disgusting, hacking cough you have ever heard.  It was bad in Act 1 and was intolerable in Act 2.  It sounded like he was going to lose a lung, and he must have been coughing up the most unsightly stuff from the sounds he was making.

My roommate and I spent most of the evening making snide little glances at each other, hoping that one of the parents would realize that this might have been a mistake and take them out.  But that was not to be.  They stayed for the whole show.  Kicking and Coughing.  UGH.  It makes me glad that I am not a parent.  Of course I would have had the good sense to stay home with my sick child and give my tickets to Ur-Spo.   But as everyone knows especially in Arkansas, gays don’t make good parents so I guess we’ll never know.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker!

The following is an exchange I had today with my cousin Vickie. I haven’t spoken with her in months and suddenly through my mom I found out that she needed to talk to me. I had no idea what it was about and planned to call her tonight, but she found me on-line today and this is what was said:

V: are you here
Maddog: No, I am here.
V: lol
V: now i have a question for you
M: I’m in NYC if that’s what you are asking.
V: no
V: i know where you are
M: I’ve been out the last two nights so haven’t been able to call, was going to call tonight.
M: what’s the question.
V: are you single
M: LOL
M: are you trying to fix me up with someone?
V: no kidding

V: yes
M: yes, why do you ask?
V: i want you to meet someone
M: who might that be?
V: his name is H.

M: where does he live?
V: now that could be a problem
M: I see.

V: new mexico
M: why do you want to fix us up?
M: how do you know him?
V: because he is a great person
V: i worked with him
M: what do we do about the fact that we live 2,000 miles away from each other.
V: i dont know about all that yet
V: but id you two agree
V: you can work that out
M: is this what the phone call was about?
V: yes
M: and I thought you wanted me to go to Vegas with you.
V: he is from texas
M: so can i work on this

This went on for about 3o minutes with her trying to fix me up with her friend. There are a number of reasons this is ridiculous. First I don’t know if I trust her taste. Her choice of husbands (yes, 3 in fact) have not been the best. Second, he lives on the other side of the country. It will make having a first date rather difficult. Third, it scares me she even thought of me. I’ve only ever had one conversation with her about being gay. It was 3 summers ago at a 4th of July family picnic. The entire conversation was about Kenny Chesney being gay and how I would like it if he was. That was it. Haven’s spoken with her about it again.

I do have to admit that I agreed to email him and just say hello. I figured what the hell. What could it hurt. I don’t expect it to go anywhere but if it’ll make her happy then what the hell. So I sent off a simple hello email today, said hello and left it at that. He emailed back and said hello. I’ll keep you posted on the eventual outcome.

You gotta love my family!

The American Family Association strikes again!!

I love getting emails from the AFA. The American Family Association. Today’s was especially funny. It even had a video attached to the email so that I could see the sick and despicable things that the homosexuals of America are doing. The body of the email was protesting a hate crimes bill that is being voted on in Congress. A bill that would protect these sick and evil people. Yuck. I have attached the video. In the words of Donald Wildmon founder and chairman “Warning! The video is highly offensive, but it is real footage from the actual parade.” Enjoy. I will warn you though the video does seem to have a preoccupation with twirling rifles…so it might not be safe for work.

Update: Seems YouTube pulled the first video, from my blog as well as the AFA’s website. Not to be outdone, they posted a different video this time from Chicago Pride. I’m sorry to say there’s no flag twirling in this video, but lot’s of cute, offensive boys.

Spring Awakening…

I slept wonderfully last night. I’d been looking forward to sleeping in my own bed for two months and it was everything I dreamed it would be. It was warm, and firm and it was a queen not a twin. It took all of my strength to get my ass out of bed this morning afternoon. I didn’t want to leave it. I wanted to cherish the moment. Hmmmmm…..

It was also nice just spending time in my apartment today. I hung out and did nothing for a long time, before I showered and headed downtown. The only thing on my agenda today was trying to get tickets for Spring Awakening for this week. I stopped by the box office fully expecting to be told that they were completely sold out. But what would you know. Not only did they have tickets but they were 10th row center. Exactly what I would have requested if I were give my preference. So I shelled out the 110 bucks and was on my way. I’ll add at this point that I hate that Broadway tickets have become so expensive. For that reason, I pick and choose carefully what I’m going to see because it costs so much. This show was completely worth it.

This is a little blurb about it. I’ll write more about the show later this week.

Spring Awakening

There’s No Place Like Home!

I arrived in New York City tonight around 11:00. I’ve never been so happy to be home. I was bouncing off the walls when I got here. I had driven almost 13 hours and was tired. But more importantly I was excited to be in my home with my stuff. My bed. My sofa. My pictures. My artwork. My dishes. My armoire. My stuff. My roommate just kept laughing at me because I was running around looking at things. It’s the longest I’ve ever been away from home before and it’s fucking great to be back.

Speaking of travelling home. Thanks for all the comments that everyone left after my last post. I was worried that I was sharing a little too much information, but it was what I was thinking and doing so I said what the hell and shared it with you. I wish it hadn’t taken me 15 hours to get home, but trust me when I say a couple of my stops were a LOT of fun. I did manage to drive to NYC today only stopping for bathroom breaks, gas and Diet Coke. I was so anxious to get here nothing was going to slow me down. I’ll keep you posted on if there’s any other fun I have while I’m on my trip. I figure I have to get it all out of the way since I’ll be back in Iowa soon for two very long months.

I was out and about last night in Lexington and heard this little exchange. I laughed my self silly when I heard it.

“I’m not a fucking cross-dresser. I’m a fucking transsexual!” It’s even funnier when it’s shouted in a southern accent to a kind of pretentious, full of himself queer. She wasn’t angry, she was just making her point. He apologized and then they went on with their conversation. Everyone around them was rolling on the floor.

That’s it for tonight. I hope everyone has a great week.

Playing on the Road!

I’m finally out of Iowa. YIPPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!

I left the great state of Iowa about 3:45 yesterday afternoon. I had a silent moment of celebrating and then put my eyes back on the road and continued moving east. I got to Kentucky on Friday morning around 4:30. It was a very long drive but I really only minded the last 70 miles or so. In fact the drive from Louisville to Lexington took about the same time as the drive from Iowa to Louisville. At least it appeared that way.

I actually should have been here hours earlier, but I made a couple (4 exactly) pit stops along the way. I had decided that since I was on vacation I should take some time out of the day to enjoy the trip. So I went on-line and looked up places for “gay” men to have fun along the way. I was able to find two such places that didn’t seem far off my route and so I put the directions in the car and I was on my way.

It turns out that both places weren’t on my route at all. To stop by and see what they were about would take me about an hour plus out of my way. I debated long and hard (pun intended) before deciding what the hell and driving there. The first place was The Lion’s Den, just off I-80 in Illinois at exit 27. It was a little hole in the wall. I went in, looked around, got my handful of quarters and went back to see what the excitement was about. Turns out there wasn’t any. It was me and the two overweight girls who worked there. I stayed about 30 minutes to see in the scenery might change and then was on my way again.

Next up was the place at exit 97. I didn’t get a name and I’m not even sure it had one. I do know that it was a little mecca of gay men (or horny straight men) in the middle of nowhere. The place was packed. I went in and paid my admission to the “back room” and then went exploring. The “back room” was huge and as I mentioned there were a lot of men back there. I hung out and people watched before hooking up with a really cute businessman. He was short, and I’ve mentioned before how I love me my short boys. We played around for about 20 minutes or so and then I was on my way.

With my “playing” out of the way, I got back on the highway, backtracked the 15 miles I gone past my exit and was on my way. At this point I was just ready to be at my mom’s house. I drove and drove and drove and around 8:15 got off the highway to use the restroom and get something to drink. Just as I was pulling into the gas station my phone rang and it was my friend Todd and just as I answered it, I saw the sign for the possibility of more fun. I told Todd it was funny that he called at the same time I saw the sign because we always share stories of our adventures out and about.

I got my soda and used the restroom and then drove down the little gravel path to the store. It was small and the drive way was empty but I thought it was worth checking out. I went in and got my change and began exploring. The place only had one other person in it but I thought I’d give it a while and see. After about 15 minutes a beautiful boy who was tall with curly hair came in and seemed interested. Who was I to say no? I was there around 20 more minutes and then I was on my way.

Of course I had to call Todd as I was driving away to tell him my story. We had a good laugh over it. I then really began driving. I still had many more miles to go and it was getting late. I did decide as I was driving into Louisville to stop at an old stomping ground there to see what was happening. It was late and I was getting sleepy so what better way to wake up then to look at boys.

The place was packed. It was about 1:15 a.m. I wandered around in there until about 3:30, looking at boys and watching the mating ritual that happens there. I did have fun with a couple of boys. Finally my fun for the day was over and I began the last hour of my journey. As I said, it was late, I was tired and it was the longest part of the day.

I hope I haven’t shocked anybody with my story. It’s just that I’ve been in Iowa by myself for 2 months. I was lonely, and horny. And besides sometimes being bad is fun.