A Letter to my favorite Facebook friend.

I’ve tried for months to be calm in the rhetoric used on your Facebook page. For months! I’ve found it to be harder and harder. So today I did what I should have done months ago and unfriended you.

I find much of what you and more importantly what your “friends” say to be offensive. The discourse on your page is not political. It’s intended to perpetuate the fear that has been breeding for the past year. Based on the comments you post and your friends post, you would have me believe that the end of the world is upon us and that the only way to protect ourselves is to buy a gun, a flag and some indignation.

Today was the final straw. To have someone say to me that being called a “teabagger” is in some way equivalent to being called a “nigger” or a “faggot” is unbelievable. You are a political movement. You can choose to be in it or choose not to be in it. I on the other hand can not choose to be straight. I also doubt very seriously if you’ve ever felt threatened being a member of the teaparty. I on the other hand know what it’s like to walk down the street in fear. I know what it’s like to stop holding my boyfriend’s hand because I’m unsure as to whether it is safe or not. And I have it easy. The term “nigger” is far worse. That word uttered by a white man is meant to denigrate and cause fear. There are people in this world who’d rather see a faggot or nigger dead, than alive.

As for your political leanings, really? REALLY?

The conservative right seeks to gain power through fear and intimidation. Don’t believe me? Turn off Fox News and turn on any other news source. Yes, I know it’s the mainstream media and they are liberal leaning but just listen. I don’t know a single statement issued by the right concerning the healthcare bill that was correct. Death panels? Funding for abortions. Socialism. You have a note on your page that lists line after line of fear based “facts.” None of these things are true. None of them. They are opinions tossed into the arena to insight fear. What scares me is that it’s working. Too many people are buying into what you are preaching, with little thought to the consequences.

Don’t think you are using fear as a way to get your message across? You applaud when a man shows up with a gun at a presidential rally. You preach that every bill that’s been presented since Obama took office is moving us toward socialism, marxism, communism, fascism. You use every opportunity possible to lead us to believe that Obama is muslim. (Which in itself is offensive, with the under lying message being that all muslims are bad). You throw the word tyranny around as much as you can. You combine Obama with Bin Laden at the drop of a hat. And this is just the beginning.

You spend countless hours trying to convince your followers that Obama doesn’t believe that our country is a Christian nation. Nothing gets a bunch of conservatives riled up faster than to be told that their god is not the only god. You spend just as much time telling people that abortions will not only be available but can be forced upon unsuspecting people. And the left would like nothing more than to pry those guns from your cold dead hands. You’ve convinced my mother that if Obama has his way that her Medicare will be cut in half and she’ll no longer be able to afford healthcare. You’ve even gone so far as to say that Obama is creating his own private “brown shirt” army that is meant to suppress the “people” You personally have published articles comparing Obama to Hitler. You have notes that are titled “Sobering Steps From Freedom to Fascism.”

And the reality is that if you didn’t have fear then you wouldn’t really have a movement. You take advantage of people who are upset with their lives and convince them that it’s the government’s fault. They’ve lost their jobs, their houses, the American dream. And yes it’s great to get political and want to change things, but don’t lead them down the road by telling them they wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for the government. What you forget to tell them is what the government is doing that’s good for them. Taxes suck. But have any idea what our infrastructure would look like if we didn’t pay them. Sure using tax dollars to pay for healthcare sucks. Either way the government pays for those that are uninsured. Sure there are illegal immigrants using our system. What would you suggest? That we deny them healthcare and let them die?

Unfortunately all of this fear bating is starting to have it’s effect. The violence we saw when the healthcare bill passed I fear will be just the beginning. You can’t tell people that the government is calling for an end to life as they know it and not expect them to react. This week members of a Michigan militia were arrested and there are too many people out there, including your “friends” who see their capture as a bad thing. It should be their right to bear arms and prepare for the end. Of course all of this is fine and good till people start getting hurt. Every report right now says that the biggest threat to our country is domestic terrorism. I’m far less scared of Bin Laden than I am what you call the “fringes” of the tea party movement.

And now for the icing on the cake. You have a friend that is making veiled threats against the President of the United States of America. Many of your group have forgotten that we voted him into office using the guidelines of our democracy. To think any differently does more damage to our country than socialized medicine will ever do. Your friend has suggested that Obama be tarred and feathered. It isn’t a euphemism. He recently suggested we’d all be better off if they were just laid out end to end. Once again, a not so subtle wish that Obama, Pelosi, etc be dead. Am I exaggerating? I don’t think so. I’ve read and re-read the comments and it’s hard not to read between the lines. Like I said, they are veiled so he can always deny that’s what he meant.

And at the end of the day, none of this is political discourse. There is no debating. I rarely hear anyone from the tea party movement argue their points without the use of their key terms and fears. And I will leave you with this: What do you really think would be the result of voting out the democrats in the next four years? Do you really think all your prayers will be answered? You don’t like hearing it, but much of what we are dealing with right now, didn’t happen in the last 12 months. The Republicans did their fare share of screwing things up. So feel free to protest but for god’s sake please stop using fear as the basis for your arguments. Stop holding the political system hostage. I really do believe that eventually people will realize what it is that you are actually selling.

Sincerely,

Maddog

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Why do theater jobs suck?

The show I’ve been working on opens tomorrow.  Friday.  At 8:00 p.m.

I’m beginning to wonder if I just say yes to the wrong projects or if I actually attract crazy people to work with.

This show has not been much different than most.

I got to the theater Monday morning.  At 10:00.  I don’t like mornings.

I spent the next five hours hanging lights.  And when I say lights I mean clip lights.

So the light you use for cleaning up the basement.  I’m using to light a play.  Actually not A play.  Four plays.  Four one-acts.

The reason it takes so long to hang the lights is that first the clip part of the light really needs to be redesigned.  They don’t like to stay clipped and they definitely don’t like to stay clipped and point exactly where you want them to.  It also takes so long because there are no pipes to hang them on.  All of the lights are clipped to either conduit or sprinkler pipe.  A no-no no matter how you look at it.  I also have to run extension cords from each light to a table where the stage manger is going to sit.  They don’t make brown extension cords in 50 foot lengths.

I also have to hang lights to be used for house lights (the lights that are on when the audience comes in).

By 2:00 I’ve gotten twelve stories about what the shows are supposed to look like.

One play is supposed to be at sunset.  No it’s not it’s at 1:30 in the morning.  No it’s not, it’s a sunup.  What the fuck.  Somebody make a decision and decide on something.  This is just for one play.  There are four.

This might be a good time to let you know that the space isn’t really a theater.  I know, you’d never have guessed.  In fact it’s a rehearsal room.  And it has windows everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  You can’t see the lights when they are on, because the sun is coming in from three sides.  I have no idea if what I’m doing is going to work.

Finally rehearsal starts.

The first director is a little difficult.  It’s the play with three scenes and the one that is supposed to have a sunset.  I’ve actually gone out of my way to make this happen.  Whoops.  He doesn’t know where I got that idea from.  It’s the middle of the night.  In fact all three scenes are the middle of the night. Fuck.  Cut that idea.

Second show is directed by a friend from grad school.  The play is ridiculous.  It borders on offensive.  I’d tell you what it’s about but Chuck is going to the show with me tomorrow night and I want him to be surprised.  This show should be easy to light.  If they’d just decide where on the stage it’s going to take place.  First it’s here. Then it’s there.  And then the chairs are turned this way.  Then that way.  Fuck.

Third play is up next.  Director reeks of cigarettes and booze.  Actually every time I’m with in 50 feet of her all I can smell are cigarettes and booze.  She doesn’t care.  She doesn’t care.  Anything will work.

At the start of the evening director number 4 has stated that his play will be the easiest.

Famous fucking last words.

By the time I left last night I was ready to put my foot up his ass.

He wanted to know if I could do this?  And that?  And this?  And that?  And why is it dark over there?  And over there?  And over there?

Fuck you!!!

I’m lighting a show with clip lights@#!

I get through the night.  I’ve taken lots of notes.  I’m told the schedule for the next day.  I will have 10 minutes to take care of my notes before we start rehearsal.  Fuck.

So the next day we start rehearsal and I spend the next five hours apologizing for things looking the same as they did the night before.  Director number 4 is hearing none of that.  Why does it look the same?  Is it going to look like this?  Why isn’t it different.

All of this is made worse by the fact that the set hasn’t been painted and it’s all white.  As I tried to explain to all four directors.  It’s not that the actors aren’t bright enough.  It’s that the back ground is white.  It doesn’t matter how much light I put on the actors the back ground is going to win.

Director number 4 never gets this concept.

Fuck you!!!

Wednesday I show up and I take care of my notes.  It’s been announced that tonight will be a preview.  It’s usually nice if you tell the designers and cast that an audience might be there.

So rehearsal starts in the afternoon.

And it’s full sun.

And you can’t tell how the show looks.

And director number 4 runs over with concerns and questions.

Shut the fuck up.  It’s as bright in here as it is outside I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.

And this is as good a time as any to let you know that I’ve figured out that it’s theater by committee.  Seems that any of the four directors, two producers, 9 actors or stage manager can give notes at any given time to anyone they please.  I don’t even know how to respond to them.  Director number four is now giving me notes about all four shows.

At this point he’s also not grasping this idea that I’m lighting a show with 10 clip lights, brown extension cords and dimmers that I stole off the lamps in our living room.

Fuck you.

So we get to the run last night.  No one shows up so it’s not really a preview.

Before it starts director number 4 wants me to bring up the cue for his show.  He looks at it and says that it’s not bright enough.  How the fuck do you know?  There’s no one on stage.  You are looking at light on a blank stage.  Shut the fuck up.

And we go through the show.  And we get to the middle of the second piece and the producer gets up in the middle of the scene and gets a chair and changes the focus on a light.

WHAT THE FUCK???

Okay.  In a couple of hours it will be fine.

So we get through intermission.  And the first play of the second act.  And the second play.

And the show is over and it all went well.  And in just a few minutes I’ll be done.

And so I’m standing around waiting for notes when I hear director number four talking to the producer.  I can only hear parts of the conversation but it has to do with the lighting of the third piece.  Director number 4 leaves and I go up to the producer and ask if there are lighting questions.  He says no.  They are actually directing questions.  I know this is bullshit.  But in a few more minutes I’ll be out of here.

I stand there as the woman reeking of booze and cigarettes comes up and proceeds to have a conversation about her show with the producer.  He starts talking about repurposing lights and changing the focus etc.  I stand there with my mouth open, expecting at any time they’ll come over and ask me to make changes.  Without asking me my opinion at all.

And I turn around and go back to talk to the stage manager and when I turn back around the producer is moving lights.

WHAT THE FUCK.  WHAT THE FUCK.  WHAT THE FUCK.

At this point I’m done.  I pick up my stuff, put on my jacket and start out the door.

The stage manager stops me and asks if I’m leaving.

I look at her and tell her I’m done.

I was furious by the time I got home.

So furious that I was ready to send an email asking that my name be taken off the show.  Luckily Adam suggested that I call Chuck.  Chuck has experience in producing plays and so I ask him how I should proceed.  He tells me to stay calm, go to opening, be gracious, pick up my money, and leave and be done with them and remember to say no next time one of them wants me to work with me.

And that’s what I’m doing.

Just for the record.  The problem they were trying to fix.  The third piece is directed so that the actors are as far from the clip lights as they can be.  Of course they aren’t as bright as the other scenes.  Of course it’s supposed to be 3 in the morning so exactly how bright is it supposed to be.  And I’d already fixed the problem of them being dim but my solution involved making a design choice, not just turning the lights on brighter.  And if it involves lighting, it’s not a director note, it’s a fucking lighting design note.

DON’T JUST DECIDE TO MAKE CHANGES FOR YOURSELF.  YOU FUCKING HIRED ME FOR A REASON.  LET ME DO MY JOB.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

Good Morning.

This new theme was featured on the welcome page today.  I thought I’d see what it looked like.  I kind of like it.  What do you guys think?

So it looks like Kentucky is a go.  I’m going to make all the phone calls tomorrow.  I’m most excited about not waiting tables for a month.  I’m about as giddy as a school girl.

I’m also doing a show next week. It’s actually four one act plays.  A friend from grad school posted a message on Facebook needing a designer for a show.  I wrote to him and told him I’d like to talk to him about it.  Somehow that was translated into I’m doing it.  Which is all good, it will be fun to be creative and not have to wait tables next week.

The two big cons:

1.  It doesn’t pay.  At all.  It’s really just a favor.

2.  They don’t have any lights.  Dimmers.  Or a board.  In fact they didn’t know what they were doing.  They suggested I rent two dimmers and make that work.  I sort of laughed.  So I’m rummaging through the Xmas boxes tomorrow to find all the dimmers we used for the tree.  I’ll run extension cords from the work lights that they have and the board op will run it from there.

Oh, I should mention.  After I’m given the tour the producer of the shows says to me.  You should realize that the plays progress from early evening to late night.  So if you can incorporate that into the design that would be great.

He’ll be lucky if we can even see the fucking actors.  Let alone “incorporate” it into the design.

Pick One!

A quick post.

In the span of a week, I’ve gone from having no work this summer to having the opportunity to go to Kentucky or California.

Of course the problem is the shows are at the same time so I’d have to choose between the two.

Here are the pros and cons:

Kentucky:

I’d have to be there for a month.

I’d get to see and work with people I haven’t worked with in a long time, some of which gave me my start in theater.

I’d have to be at home with my family for a month.

Kentucky pays more but I’d be doing three shows and would have to be out of NYC  longer.

It’s outdoor theater so the work would be very late, very hot and probably not as much fun.

I’d be away from Adam for 4 weeks.  Which is a very long time.

It might be a chance to get my name reintroduced in KY for future work.

California:

I’d have to be there for two weeks.

I’d get to see and work with people I haven’t seen in a while.

I’d get to see friends outside of the theater.

I’d be out of NYC for two weeks.

It pays a lot less than Kentucky.

The physical work would be easier.

I’d be away from Adam for two weeks at which point he’d come visit and we’d play for a few days.

It will keep my name in the pot for future work.

On either front I’m going to go broke doing the show.  It’s just that it keeps me from going insane at work by knowing that I have theater design work coming.

If any of you have any advice let me know.

I really should have made my decision a week ago but as usual my friend Trish is behind with the Kentucky information.

FUCK CHASE MANHATTAN BANK!!!!!

And the plot thickens, as they say.

So today I got up, much later than normal, because I couldn’t sleep last night.

The first thing I do is check to see if all of my pending activity on my Chase account has posted so that I can go in and close my account.

I bring up Chase.com.

I type in my username.

I type in my password.

The page pops up and what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My account has a balance of -9.35.

What the fuck!

So I open up my account detail page and I see that check number 1031 for 250 has been presented to the bank.  Because there were insufficient funds they are allowing the check to go through but they are charging me 35.00 to cover it.  Leaving my account overdrawn by 9.35.

There’s a little problem with this.

Check number 1031 for 250 was presented and paid on March 11.  It’s the only fucking check I’ve written on the account.

So I click on the contact us button on their site to find a number to call them.

This is what I found:

Perhaps you can show me where it lists anyone to call for personal checking accounts.  It doesn’t.  I had to call the business line, get the number and then call.

I was on the phone for almost 30 minutes.

They had no way to know what the check number was that was being presented.  I told them it was check 1031.  It says so on my computer screen.  Well our screen does not show that.  Then log into the fucking internet, pull up a fucking browser and access my account.  Then you’ll see that the check that’s being presented  cleared the bank a week ago.

I’m sorry for your inconvenience.

Well my inconvenience has even started yet.  Who do you suggest I get to pay my credit card bill which is due on Friday that must be processed today so that it will be posted on Friday?  Who do you suggest.

I’m sorry for you inconvenience.  We’ll be happy to reimburse you for any fees that you might incur because of our mistake.

So can I assume that when my credit card interest rate goes through the fucking roof you’ll start to pay the “extra” interest to make up for your “so called mistake.”

Perhaps I can let you talk to a supervisor.

I’m put on hold.

Eventually Ms. Marshall comes on the phone and the first thing she does is ask how she can help me

I wish I knew how to write in a larger FONT in wordpress.

My

WHAT THE FUCK?????

Would be the largest it could be.

I’m now talking to Ms. Marshall and she knows nothing of what’s going on.  So I proceed to tell her, once again that there is a problem, that a check has been presented for payment twice, that because of that my account is overdrawn, and that because of this the bills that need to be paid right now can’t because there is no money to pay them.

“Perhaps I can help?”

I sigh and say, “That’s very doubtful since the only person who has yet to be helpful in your company is the guy who signed me up for my account and he was so helpful he forgot to include a number of key items in the contract.  So NO I don’t think you’ll be able to help.”

And what do you know?  She can’t help?  She can’t see the check number on her screen.  Then pull it up on my account.  It’s there.  Trust me.  I can’t do anything to help you get your money back until the check clears.  That’s all fine and dandy but who do you suggest I get to pay my bills in the mean time?  I really can’t help you there.  No what you could do is tell me how to access the money that I’ve placed in your bank that can’t be accessed because you screwed up.

I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do to restore your  money until the check clears.

This is a direct quote:  “So you are telling me I’m fucked.”

That’s now what I’m saying at all.  If it’s our mistake you’ll be refunded your money.  Yes but in the meantime I can’t pay the bills that I have that need to be paid.  What I suggest is that you pay your bill and Chase will cover it and if you haven’t used your yearly overdraft waiver then the overdraft fee will be waived.  Of course I’ve used the over draft waiver.  If you look at my account you’ll see that it was used to day to waive the over draft fee caused by the check that was paid two weeks ago being presented to the bank yet once again.

That’s all I can do.

And I’m done.  I tell her yet once again that it’s no wonder the fucking banking industry is such a mess.  If they can’t accurately handle the account the size of mine, what disastrous mistakes are they making on the big ones?  I also tell her that it’s a nice scheme that now it’s been 5 days and I still don’t have access to the money that I deposited last Friday.

She starts to say something equally nonsensical and I say,

This conversation is over.  I’m done with you.  I’m done with your bank.  As soon as this fucking check is processed I’ll close my account and you’ll be done with me.

I do know tomorrow when I go into the bank I’m not going to speak to the little lady who answers questions at the desk.  I’m going to ask to speak to a manager.  I don’t expect any thing to come of it, but I won’t discuss this any more with a help desk at the front of the bank.

A Fee For Early Withdrawal.

I hate banks.

I hate them a lot.

Let me repeat that.

I hate them a lot.

When I first moved to NYC I opened a checking account with Chase.  Who knows why.  Perhaps they were the first one I saw.

When I moved to San Diego I opened my account with WAMU.  I actually opened one with Bank of America but discovered they’d charge me a monthly fee if I didn’t have direct deposit.  I changed banks because Chase wasn’t in San Diego.  I wanted a bank that had locations in both places since I was traveling between NYC and San Diego.

When I came back to NYC I kept my WAMU account.  I liked it.  It worked fine.

Then Chase bought WAMU.  And one day I went in to the bank to make a deposit to cover an automatic withdrawal that was scheduled to occur.  I was informed that because I opened my account in California that to make a deposit they would take my cash, issue a check, mail it to California, and then it would be processed.  It would take about 5 business days for this to occur.  I asked if someone was going to cover the cost of the overdraft if the charge went through without the money being there.  I was told no.  I then told them I’d like to close the account so that it wouldn’t overdraw my account.  I was told that I couldn’t do that.  To close my account I’d have to go the branch where I opened it and close it there.  That branch was in California.  In August I traveled to California and closed the account.  When I was asked why I was closing it I explained.  I was told to wait, it would all be fixed by the end of October.  I laughed and ask her if she really expected me to bank like that.  She closed my account.

Then I opened a Citibank account.  Adam banked at Citibank and as far as large banks go, he liked it.  Then two months ago they announced that they were going to start charging customers who had less than 1500 dollars in their account.

I went looking for another bank.

A couple of Adam’s friends bank with Bank of America.  So I went there.  They’ll happily open an account for me and it will be free as long as I have at least one direct deposit a month.  Which would be fine if I got regular paychecks.  But I can go weeks/months/years without actually receiving a paycheck.

I went looking again.

A couple of people said they really liked Chase.

I went to Chase.  They answered all of my questions.  It seemed like the right thing to do and so I opened an account with them.

Of course they failed to mention a couple of small details.

The first.

If I deposit cash into an ATM I have to wait till the following business day to have access to the money.  The problem with this?  The machine takes the cash, counts it, breaks it down into denominations for you and prints all of this out for your on your receipt.  They know exactly how much cash you deposit when you deposit it.  You’d think I’d have access to it right away.  At Citibank I put the money in an envelope, sealed it, put it in the machine and when I got home I’d have 75% of it at my disposal.  And they had nothing but my word that the money was there.

Then there’s this next business day thing.

I got off work tonight at 1:15 a.m.  If I deposited money in the ATM.  It would not show up on my account till sometime Thursday morning.  It’s fucking Tuesday night.  I’m supposed to believe that no one can process my deposit for 24 hours?  And get this.  Last Friday night I made a deposit at 12:15.  That’s actually 15 minutes into Saturday.  The money finally appeared in my account sometime this morning.  72 hours to have access to my money.  As you can see this is stupid.

So I went into the bank yesterday to ask about this.  I thought perhaps it was like Citibank where once you established yourself as a customer they’d wave the waiting period.  The woman responded to me as though I was speaking Japanese.  It took three tries to even get her to answer the first question.  Then she wanted to look at my account.  I swipe my card and she looks at my account.  She then exclaims that the reason I don’t have money in the bank is because I spent it all after I deposited it.  I ask her to explain.  She says that I made a deposit on Wednesday and that I had several charges pending.  I explain that I made a deposit on Friday night and that it was posted yet.  She says, “not according to my screen.”  I explain that it won’t show up until it clears.  She says that that’s not so and then asks me if I know the ATM number of the machine I used on Friday night so she can file a claim.  I looked at her as though she was speaking Japanese and asked her if she knew the fucking ATM number of the last machine she used.  I left out the fucking part.  When I left I was no closer to an answer than when I started.

So I go back into the bank today and start the conversation over again.  This time I’m told that I didn’t make the deposit until Monday and that it showed up the next day so they didn’t see what the problem was.  I explained that I’d made the deposit late Friday night and I was told that if that were the case it would say so on the screen.

I had finally had enough and told the lady I’d like to just cut my losses and close my account.

Which comes to the second little detail they might have left out.  If I close my account within the first 60 days then I have to pay a 50 dollar early termination fee.

I lost my shit.  I wanted to know why I hadn’t been told this.  I was told it was in the “little pamphlet” they gave me.  I said, you’d think something so significant that would cost me money MIGHT have been mentioned perhaps in passing.  I was told I should have read my little pamphlet.  At this point I was done.  I might have raised my voice and said.

You guys run a nice little scam here.  I deposit money on Friday.  Cash.  You don’t give me access to it until Tuesday.  You have 72 hours to play with my money while I wait.  So let’s get this straight I deposit 200 bucks in the bank and you get to play with it till Tuesday.  Let’s say 2,000 people deposit 200 dollars on Friday that means that you have 400,000 dollars to make money on before you release it back to your customers.  I would bet a lot more than 2,000 people deposited cash on Friday.  And to top it off you are telling me that if I’m not happy with your business practice to close my account I have to pay 50 dollars.  You guys take the cake.

I was finally told to calm down and that I should come back when all my pending charges had cleared and talk to someone then.

So what the fuck do I do?

Citibank will charge me for not having 1500 dollars.

Bank of America will charge me for not having direct deposit.

Chase will keep my money for two days, or they will charge me for closing my account.

I feel like I’m stuck.

Just in case you are curious.

Here’s what I need.

I need a checking account.

I need online bill pay.

I need a branch near my restaurant where I can make nightly deposit so that I don’t carry huge amounts of cash home with me.

I need access to my money as soon as I deposit it.

Is any of this too much to ask.

I told Adam I was ready to start keeping my money under our mattress.  At least then I know what it’s doing and it’s there when I need it.

Let’s Chat.

Remember conservative girl who I know from college that I’m friends with on Facebook?

We’ll call her Melissa.  Mostly because that’s her name.

I asked you guys about a month ago what to do considering her views are about as conservative as they come and she’s always posting things that make me crazy.

I’ve commented on two of her posts since then.

The first was a post that basically said until we kill every Muslim we’ll be fighting terrorism.

And the second was today when she posted an article saying that the Dutch health care system wants to kill all people over 70.

As you can see both statements are pretty far fetched.

The first time, I got a correction of a word I used wrong from one of her friends.

(I’m of a firm belief that if the only argument you can make against a statement is to grammatically correct it, then you don’t really have much of an argument.)

Tonight, she responded, tried to backtrack and then did the unthinkable.

She IM’d me on Facebook.

I started to ignore her.

I decided not to.

We chatted for about 30 minutes.  We didn’t say much it’s just that Facebook’s chat system leaves a little to be desired.

To cut to the chase I told her that although I can respect her conservative fiscal ideas, I don’t agree but I can respect them, but that I find almost all of her social ideas insulting.  She assured me that she didn’t mean to alienate me or to think less of me because I’m gay.  I told her that I’d have never known this.

When it was all said and done it was very cordial.

I left it with this statement.

You say that you are very accepting of gays and that you are not judgmental.  You have 2,200 friends.  You have a platform to preach acceptance rather than hate.  If what you say is true use that platform to encourage your “friends” to do the same.

I doubt very seriously this will happen.

I “heart” you!

For the past week I’ve had the worst time getting my desktop to wirelessly connect to the internet.  It would find it, and then it would go away.  When I had four bars I’d try to look something up on line and by the time the page started to load the signal was gone again.  Needless to say this was starting to wear on my last nerve.  I tried restarting my computer.  I tried shutting down the airport connection.  I tried moving the wireless router around to see if by chance Harper had moved it.  Nothing seemed to work and I was getting ready to throw the damn computer out the window.

So today I’m sitting at my computer wishing that I could actually surf the web.  And I smile as I look down and see a post it note that Adam put on my computer about a week ago.  It says I heart you.  And I’m sitting there smiling when I realize that his post it note is covering the apple on my computer.  So I move the post it away from the apple, and what would you know.

I have four bars again.

And all is well.

Damn you Adam.  See what your loving me has done to my life.

🙂

Stupid is as stupid does.

There is nothing less attractive than a woman who acts stupid to get a man.

I waited on a couple today and either this woman was terrified that her man wasn’t going to like her if she could string two sentences together or she should be playing soccer for the special olympics.  She was blond and pretty, and she oohed and ahhed and gushed.  And spent fifteen minutes trying to choose a drink from the drink menu.  The whole time I’m standing there wanting to slap her face and tell her to get with it.  I’d share some of the dialogue but I don’t think I could do it justice.  In three minutes she set women’s rights back 200 years.

And the best part.

I finally walked away and told her to take her time and that I’d be back.

I return five minutes later and in her trying to be sexy voice says, “I’ll just have a water.”

SLAP!

Dahling…

“I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late start without me.”

How can you not love a woman who says things like this?

One of the MANY reasons I like Adam is because he gets tickets to a lot of shows in New York through work.  They are not all shows we want to see but anytime we can get free tickets we say yes.

Last week we saw Valerie Harper in “Looped.”

She plays the funny, dramatic and somewhat damaged Tallulah Bankhead.

And she’s hysterical.  And moving.

The play is based on a real event.  In 1965 Tallulah was asked to come in to a recording studio to re-record one line of dialogue from her last movie.  She arrives drunk, drinks more while she is there, and eventually brings everything to a halt.

I knew of Tallulah’s reputation.  I was a little amazed when I started reading about her.

She was SHOCKING!

And I think that’s why we all love her.  She said and did publicly what everyone else was doing or at least wanted to do.

You’ve got to love someone who makes no apologies about who they are and lives life to the fullest.

Here are some of her famous quotes:

“They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.”

“The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I’d make all the same mistakes – only sooner.”

“(on seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.”

“Here’s a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once”

“The less I behave like Whistler’s mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.”

“I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.”

“Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.”

“It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”

“my father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”

“Cocaine habit-forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I’ve been using it for years.”

“(on why she called everyone “darling”) Because all my life I’ve been terrible at remembering people’s names. Once I introduced a friend of mine as ‘Martini’. Her name was actually ‘Olive’.”

I’ll leave you with this little story…

Wilted by the heat, the whole party moved to a cooler house nearby, where the hostess, offering them bathing suits, invited them down for a swim in her pool. “I never wear a suit,” declared Tallulah, who, good to her word, was soon standing on the diving board dressed in nothing but her pearls… it was a typical Tallulah scene, down to the fact that her chauffeur had to go back later and fish the pearls out of the water. When I asked her why she did it, she said, “I just wanted to prove that I was a natural ash blonde.”

See you Looped if you get the chance.  It’s a lot of fun.