Maddog’s Night Out.

It’s been a very long 72 hours.  VERY LONG!

On Friday night I was invited to a party at one of my boss’ house.  My situation is a little weird.  I have 2 bosses that I actually report to but there are a total of 5 of them.  It can make for an interesting day at work.

So I was invited to a party at my boss’s house.  And I went.  Without eating.  Because I honestly thought that I was going to drop by the party.  Make an appearance.  Have a glass of wine.  And be on my way.  The party started at 7:00.  I thought I’d be home by 8:30.

So I arrive at the party at 7:15.  It was early I know but I’d been off work for two hours and just wanted to get it out of the way.  When I got there I realized that either I was told the wrong time or else there was an early party because the place was packed.  People from work.  Locals from the town.  There were well over a 100 people there.  I went in said hello to my boss and starting mingling.  Which I hate to do.  I hate networking.  I hate mingling.  I’m much better in a small group of people.  This was not going to be the case tonight.  So I finally made my way to the bar at around 7:30 and got a glass of wine.  At this point I’m still planning on leaving by 8:00.

Then my two real bosses appear.  One of them I actually needed to talk.  One of my managers at work has applied for a job in Boston.  We need to start the process to replace her.  So I chatted with her about that.  Then I chatted with my other boss.  Then other people from work.  Then I had another glass of wine.  At this point I’m still planning on going home.  Then my first boss who I chatted with about the manager suggested I stay in one of the rooms at the hotel above our restaurant if there was one available.  That way I didn’t have to worry about driving and I could have another glass of wine.  I said sure.  I was two glasses in.

Did I mention that I had not eaten.  I had had a bacon cheeseburger without the bun for lunch.  That was all.  And that was almost six hours ago now.  AND.  I couldn’t eat any of the food at the party because it’s not on my diet.  So much for going home and eating.

So I call my manager, Laura, at work and she discovers that we do in fact have an empty room.  I tell her that she’s now has to come to the party so that she can be my ride back to the hotel.  She tells me that she’ll see me after work.

I chat with people from work.  I chat with locals.  I chat with my managers.  And I drink.  On on empty stomach.  First only wine.  Then someone says, “HEY DON’T YOU LIKE BOURBON?”  So I switch to bourbon.  I remember Laura arriving at the party.

I don’t remember leaving the party.  When I come to I’m naked in the hotel room.  I turn on the light.  I call Laura.  She doesn’t answer.  It’s 2:30 a.m.  I look around the room.  It was not pretty.  I had thrown up on the floor of the hotel room.  I had thrown up all over my clothes.  I call Laura again.  This time she answers.

We chat.  Seems that I did not embarrass myself at the party.  She realized it was time for me to leave and she took me to her car.  She says she was about half way to the hotel when I threw up.  In her car.  All over myself.  UGH.  She managed to get me into the hotel room.  I threw up again.  She reassures me over and over that I no one saw me, and I did NOT embarrass myself.

I get up.  Clean up the vomit on the floor.  Consider putting my clothes on, walking to get my car and going home.  I decide against this.  I get back in the bed.  Turn off the light.  And go to sleep.  I wake up again around 6:30.  Again at 8:30.  At 10:00 I call Laura again.  I want to make sure she’ll take me back to get my car.  She says that she will.  I get dressed.  It’s painful.  My clothes are covered in vomit.  I reek.

She finally texts to tell me she she’s downstairs.  I sneak down the back stairs and into her car.  I sit in silence while she drives me to my car.  I thank her, over and over, and over, and over, and over.

I get in my car and drive.  If I’m truthful I was probably still a little drunk.

I stop and get a Diet Coke and drive home.

When I get home I get out of my clothes and get them into the shower.  They are disgusting.  I want to get the food particles off of them.  I then fall asleep on the couch.

Adam gets home around 12:00.  He’s not happy.  I’m still not sure why he was so upset.  He wanted to know if I was drinking because I was unhappy in our relationship.  Or because of work.  Or because.  I actually only drank to have fun.  On an empty stomach and it caught up to me.

I assure him he’s being silly.  I get in the shower.  I come out of the shower.  Put my clothes into a garbage bag.  I get dressed and leave to go back to work.

To be honest I’m probably still a little drunk.

I’m also late.  Laura had  wedding to go to and needed to leave by 1:00.  It’s 12:45 and I’m just now leaving for work.  It takes 30 minutes.  Without a stop for a Diet Coke which you know I do.

I get to work at 1:20.  I walk into the office and put my head in my hands.  It’s going to be a LONG day.

My boss who is the chef owner comes in.  I come clean.  I tell him that I’m WAY hung over.  He laughs.  Asks if there’s anything I can do.  I assure him there is not.  He goes back to work.  I continue to sit in the office with my head in my hands.

I stay like that for about 10 hours.  I make rounds about every hour.  I tell my staff that I’m not feeling well and to only come get me if it’s an emergency.  They all soon know why I’m not feeling well.  Around 4:00 I throw up again.  This time it’s just Diet Coke and it’s in the office trash can.  Thank god no one sees me.  I basically sat in my office with my head in my hands from 1:20 until around 11:30.  I did the absolute bare minimum to get by.

Of course we have late tables.  Stragglers who don’t know they’ve worn out their welcome.  It seems like they are never going to leave.  FINALLY.  Everyone is gone.  I count the money.  Do the reports.  Send the emails.  I’m on my way home.  I home by 12:30.

Adam is still mad at me.  We barely talk.  I fall asleep on the couch watching Saturday Night Live.  We shower.  Go to bed.  I sleep almost 14 hours on Saturday night.  When I wake up I’m a new man.  I feel like a 100 bucks.

And thank god because Adam stays mad at me for two more days!

More on that later.

 

It’s late.  I’m tired.  I have not proofed this or re-read it.  I’m posting it and going to bed.