Tornado, West Virginia. Again. Day 17.

Anybody want to guess how I spent my evening.  Anyone?

That’s right, I spent my afternoon singing in the cow pastures.

And then fed the pigs and then I worked on my light plot for a while.  A long while.  Instead of listening to my Ipod tonight, I was listening to the TV.  I had it on so I could watch the repeat of Jon Stewart at midnight.  I was listening to a very funny episode of South Park, when this annoying buzz occurred.  I looked over and the TV said,

A Tornado Warning has been issued for the following counties…

It’s Oklahoma so I really didn’t think it was the time to ignore the warning.  It was all over the news today that conditions were right for an unusually active day for bad weather across the midwest.

So as soon as I realized it was for my county,  I got up to get Kelly, since as she puts it, she is the grown up of the group.  As I entered the hall, the sirens were already sounding.  I knocked on Kelly’s door and opened it, and wouldn’t you know, it’s the first night she’s actually gone to bed early.  She told me to hold on and within seconds she was out the door.  She went upstairs to get people and I knocked on doors downstairs. We were telling people to move to the bathroom on the first floor.  Most everyone thought I was kidding.  I insisted that I was not, and that Kelly wasn’t kidding when she said that she wanted everyone in the bathroom.

It took way too long but finally everyone was downstairs.  And they were all annoyed.  It was bedtime, they had stuff to do.  And then it became a party.  Someone went in my room and took all the beer I had in the fridge and passed it around.  Others had bottles of something and were taking shots.  No one was taking this seriously, except for me and Kelly.  I even heard Kelly yell at a couple of people to make a pathway into the bathroom for everyone and make it possible to close the doors if we needed to.

We were in the bathroom about 35 minutes.  We got a very bad storm but watching the news it seems the worst of it went to the south of where we are.  It’s still a little scary.  The building we are in is basically built out of match sticks.  If the big bad wolf was out there blowing, the little pig would not be safe.  And it’s a brick building.  But I’d take my chances just about anywhere else but this place.

]At 12:20 Kelly finally told people they could go back to their rooms.  We are still under a tornado watch.  But the severe weather seems to have passed.

I’m kind of amazed how lightly everyone took this. It was really a “this can’t happen to me” attitude.  I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m older or just smarter, but I took it very seriously.  Kelly took it very seriously.  No one else.  It was sort of a reason to play.   As I told Kelly it’s all fine and dandy until the real thing hits and then we’ll see how funny they think this is.

I did take some photos tonight.

All that yellow and red is the storm passing through.  According to the guy talking nonstop on the TV the worst of it was to the south of us.

This was several minutes later.  The storm was moving very fast

This is the talking head on the TV.  The red stuff to the right is where the watch is.  All that red stuff to the left is the storm front headed east.

The picture below is the party in the bathroom.  These were the people Kelly yelled at because they were blocking the entrance and the door couldn’t close.  I’m not sure I want all those chairs flying around anyway if they place starts to blow away.

This is the view past the showers.  The boy in the front is the hottie of the season.  He’s very cute, but not very social.  I don’t think he knows he’s gay yet.  But I have my doubts about the straightness of anyone who sings songs from Phantom of the Opera in the shower.

This is me taking cover in the shower.  I take these things very seriously.  Of course I chose the shower next to the cute boy, because if things got exciting I could hold him and protect him and give him comfort. And by comfort I mean….I’m sorry, I lost my train of though.

Chuck has told me I’m not allowed to come home anytime soon because disastrous weather seems to follow me everywhere.  Kelly’s been with this company four years and it’s the first time they’ve had to take cover during bad weather.  Of course the one saving grace is that cranes only collapse in NYC while I’m out of town.  But I probably cause that too.


Hurricane “Ashley the Cunt” — Day 13

I’ve tried to think of a great place to say I visited today.  The most obvious choices are Myanmar or New Orleans.  And why you ask.  Because what better way to kick off the 2008 Hurricane Season than by having hurricane force winds.  And god knows I can’t go anywhere without some natural disaster occurring.  And with all the theatre drama, why not finish it off by having the mother of all Severe Thunderstorms.

I was lying in bed this morning trying to go back to sleep.  It was about 9:45 or so and I didn’t have to be awade till 10:30.  Around 10:00 or so I could hear thunder and I knew that it had started to rain.  And then all hell broke loose.  The rain was pounding the window.  It was raining so hard that when I looked out I couldn’t see the tree in the yard that’s about 40 feet away.  And then there was the wind.  The wind was blowing so hard that the blinds in my room were moving and the window was closed.  As I peeked out to see what was going on, I could feel drops of water being blown into my face.

And then I heard shouting.  Thinking that perhaps we needed to take run to the basement (and there isn’t one) I quickly threw on my shirt and opened the door.  It was worse than having to take cover.  There was water everywhere.  (I should have grabbed my camera.)  Down the hall to the left at the back door, the water was pouring in like someone had just turned on the faucet.  To the right the water was pouring out of the ceiling.  The inner hallway that connects both sides of the first floor was a swimming pool.  With my cast, which I can’t get wet, I was stuck where I was, but I was told later that the hallway on the other side of the building was just as bad.

At this point, people were scurrying to get trashcans under the water falling out of the ceiling and using the piles of towels the building provides to keep water out of our rooms.  People were running everywhere.  I just kind of stood there for a second.  Then I thought maybe I should check the TV.  There were warnings all over the TV.  Luckily nothing more than severe thunderstorms.

But then they started talking about the storms.  Seems we were having straight line winds at 60 m.p.h. with gusts up to more than 80 m.p.h.  The storm was directly over where I am and moving very slowly off to the east.  During all this time the thunder is still erupting, the wind is still blowing, and I still can’t see the street because its raining so hard.  There are also reports of many trees down.  It is unsure if the trees were damaged from last winter’s ice storms and just losing their limbs or if it’s just trees that are being downed by the hurricane force winds.  There are also a lot of areas without power. (As of right now there are still about 44,000 people without power and it will be Wednesday before some of them will have it restored).

Around 11:00 or so it just ended.  As quickly as it started.  One minute it was there and the next minute it was gone.  Kelly and I had been waiting to leave to go meet “The Director” for a meeting that was scheduled this morning to help him figure out what the set did for Show #3.  I had called around 10:45 to tell him that I thought we should wait till the storm was over to do anything.  But in all his wisdom he tells me, “The powers off here, so I’m not going to sit here and waste my time.  I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”  Sometime I just want to slap him.  I tell him that it’s being advised not to travel unless you need to and that he should be  careful of falling trees and flooded streets.  He just sort of grunts at me.

This unfortunately means that Kelly and I have to leave to meet him.  We also wanted to get breakfast before we go because with rehearsal etc. there won’t be time later.  So even though it’s still raining we get ready and head to the car.  Because I still have my cast on, I had to wear my foot condom to the car.  We then began the difficult task of finding food.  None of the restaurants near us had electricity.  Every thing was dark.  We drove up a couple of blocks.  It was all dark.  We decided to turn right and head in another direction.  We drive about 6 or 7 blocks and then head down a small hill to find the road flooded by several feet of water.  We do a U-Turn and decide to bag it and head on to the theatre.  Half way there we find an Arby’s that’s open so we grab a roast beef sandwich and we are on our way.

Of course about two seconds after we leave to get food, “The Director” calls to tell us he can’t get out of his garage because the security gate for the parking garage won’t go up because it’s electric.  We tell him to meet us at the theatre when he can.  Did I mention that he’s stupid.

The rest of the day was fine.  I came back after the meeting and took a three hour nap.  Then I got up and did the unthinkable.  I started work on the actual lighting design for the three shows.  It was due last Monday, and I started it today.  What can you do.  It’s now 5:09 a.m. and I finished the rough about an hour ago.  It’s finished enough to send the theatre an instrument count so they know what to expect.  And just because I want to be able to say I told you so.  I emailed the instrument count about 30 minutes ago.  It is about 100 instruments over what they normally have in the space and about 15 over what I used last year.  They are going to freak and tell me that I can’t do this and I have to change my plot.  At that point I’m going to tell them very politely to fuck themselves.  This is the only theatre that I know that won’t supply it’s designer’s with a list of the inventory that’s available to them.  I’m told…”come up with a design and we’ll discuss it then.”  It’s not the way to work.  I can work within restrictions as long as I know what the restrictions are.

And the rest of the day was sunny and beautiful.

Don’t be surprised if tomorrow a volcano erupts or a blizzard drops a foot of snow.

Of course I could always break my arm to round it all out.

Day 2 In The Land of Corn…

There’s something about me and Iowa weather. The day I arrived here last winter they had a huge ice storm and had about a foot of snow on the ground. Around 7:30 this morning I woke up to a tremendous downpour pounding the roof. It was kind of soothing so I went back to sleep. When I left the house today it was raining so hard that I decided to drive the block and a half to the theatre. And it continued to rain all afternoon. And then…around 6:20 tonight I was in rehearsal for the dance show that I’m doing. A person came in and interrupted rehearsal to let us know that a tornado had been spotted several miles away and that the entire area was under a tornado warning. And what did we do. We finished the dance which had about 4 or 5 minutes left in it. And then. Only then, did I head to the basement. And it was about 15 minutes before everyone else got down there. And I yelled at my mom for sitting in the living room under a warning. We were downstairs for about 45 minutes before security called to tell us the warning was lifted. We were inside the theatre so we never heard the warning sirens which are on campus. The only way people knew was because security sent a campus wide email out letting everyone know.

It’s many hours later and the weather is still kind of scary. While I was typing the previous paragraph thunder shook the whole house. I have the TV on a local station just in case it gets bad again. The weather here is insane. It was almost 60 this afternoon before the cold front started in. This time tomorrow we are supposed to be getting snow. How fucked up is that? Only in Iowa, folks. Only in Iowa.

So what new things do I have to share today.

My day didn’t really start until 9:30 when my friend Michelle called. We only talked a couple of minutes before she realized that it was still early here. Yes, 9:30 is early. So we chatted for about 30 minutes and I said what the fuck and got up. I came downstairs, praying that I wouldn’t see anyone else. I found coffee in the cupboard (I like that word. CUPBOARD) So I made coffee waited for it to brew and then settled in front of the TV. Unfortunately by the time I got to CNN Headline news it was the entertainment show and I really don’t care if Heath Ledger had a mystery son. Of if Britney is out of rehab. So I channeled surf not really watching anything. After three cups of coffee and nothing to watch on TV I decided that maybe a nap was in order. So I went back upstairs and set the alarm and settled back into bed. The next thing I new it was 12:30. The alarm was supposed to go off at 11:45. I didn’t turn it on. Whoops. So I jumped in the shower, got dressed and ran to school.

And this is where my day got fun. Today we focused lights. For all you non-theatre types out there this is how it works. The project I was working on over the weekend is called the light plot. It is a blueprint of sorts that explains where each and every lighting instrument in the show hangs. This is very specific. Sometimes for the light to do what you want it to do it has to be in the exact designated spot. So all of that is detailed on the drawing. It also has to be specific because as a designer I don’t actually put the lights into the air. I send the plot ahead and a crew has the job of following the plot and hanging the show. Several days later I arrive and the first thing we do is focus.

And focusing is what I did today. There are people in the catwalks, on ladders, and in Genie lifts that move from light to light pointing it exactly where I want it. Cutting the light off the things it’s not supposed to hit and making sure each light is able to do what it was intended to do. In a perfect world with a great crew you are able to focus one light about every 45 seconds. Yes, that’s indeed very fast. You have to be on top of your game and know exactly what you are doing. It’s easy to make a mistake and have to come back and fix it, but the idea is get everything roughed in and clean it up later. Today we were doing a light about every ten minutes. I was working with a student crew (the joys of doing educational theatre, which I don’t really mind) and so the going is slow. Some of them have never touched a lighting instrument before so you have to explain everything to them. We still have a LONG way to go to be done by Friday at end of day. But we’ll get as far as we can and finish it when we finish it.

And then I was in rehearsal for about 4 hours. I don’t mind rehearsal usually. And I didn’t mind today. It was the first time I was seeing the dances so it was fun to sit there and try to figure out what they are going to look like. Two of them are so so. They’ll be fine but they don’t excite me. The third one though I can’t wait to get into. It is going to be lots of fun and I’ll post pictures of the main idea I have for this piece next week. We focused most of this today and it’s going to work much better than I expected. Which excites me.

So what’s new that I have to share with you.

There’s a new grocery store since last winter.

The Kum & Go still has 44 ounce Diet Cokes which makes me happy. The thing that’s new at Kum & Go is that there’s a black man working behind the counter. The entire time I was here last year the only person of color, and I mean any color was in my class. He maybe the very first one in town. I’m sure it’s made the papers.

I discovered that clicking your heels together and asking to go home in the middle of a tornado does NOT work. I did it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and when I opened my eyes I was still in Iowa.

The guy they hired last year instead of me is very pretty. Actually he’s very cute. I wonder what he’s doing Saturday night. Perhaps he could come over and keep me warm while it’s snowing.

Going to Wal-Mart puts me in a good mood. I’m fat. But when I got Wal-Mart I’m the skinniest one if the store. It’s a nice feeling.

KFC only sounds good. It actually isn’t good. I felt gross ever since I ate dinner.

And now for the best part of the post. I went to the grocery store at Wal-Mart last night. And I think I mentioned the sandwich I bought.

My browser just crashed and wouldn’t you know, Word Press saves a draft every three of four minutes so I only lost about two sentences.

I knew the minute I saw the sandwich I had to buy it no matter what it cost.  It was making me laugh.  As it turns out it only cost six dollars.

And here it is:

The sandwich is the same size as the microwave.  And it’s about three inches tall.  What the fuck are you supposed to do with that.  I have had two sections of it and at least 3/4 of it is still in the fridge.  And if you weren’t a trained professional like me, you’d never be able to get into your mouth.  It’s HUGE!!!   It made me laugh so I had to get it.

And that my friends was day two.

Things I learned today…

Things I learned today and last night…

First.  It’s not a good idea to try and pick a new book to read at 4:30 a.m.  Nothing sounds interesting.  Everything looks too serious.  And they all look like they will take too much effort.  And then when you finally pick a book and brush your teeth and settle in to bed to read for a few minutes before you go to sleep…..the book you chose SUCKS.  Next time I’ll choose the book in the afternoon so I’ll just have to go with my choice.

Humanity doesn’t suck.  I had a great night at work tonight.  I had fun.  All but a couple of my tables were fun as well.  Nobody yelled at me.  No one was rude to me.  I didn’t get pissed about the tables that didn’t tip.  I was there, I had a good time and actually enjoyed being there.  I’m glad to.  After the shifts I’ve had over the past couple of weeks I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me.  I guess not.  I also wanted to share this with you since I seem to complain about work on here a lot.

When you don’t go to bed until 5:00 a.m.–sunny days suck.  When I woke up this morning the sun was shining beautifully.  At 9:15…a.m.   I think on the mornings after I work it shouldn’t be allowed to be sunny until at least noon.  I’m just saying.

It’s equally wonderful when you walk down the stairs into the subway station just as the train arrives.  So that you don’t wait even thirty seconds to get on board.  It makes very tired people very happy.

It’s nice when half the wait staff is gay because everyone is on the lookout for cute boys.  About a million times tonight someone would come over and say, “Have you seen the cute boys on table 104?  Have you seen the German boys at the bar.  I have the most beautiful Australian boys at table 701.”  It makes the night ever so much fun and it’s nice to take a 10 second breather from running around to see cute boys.

Lesbians are fun.  I had two lesbians who sat at one of my tables right at the beginning of the evening.  A couple of things happened that could have upset someone else but they laughed it off.  First, we didn’t have honey for their hot tea.  And then the milk they put in their tea was bad.  We made jokes about it and no one seemed to mind.  About 30 minutes into the visit, our cute little gay manager stopped by to do a table visit.  As he left they said to me, “Damn he’s cute.”  And I agreed.   They then ask me if I had a boyfriend.  I replied no and then told them that almost no one I wait on assumes that I’m gay.  I also told them that I also don’t want people to know, not because I’m embarrassed but because I want to be what ever they want me to  be.  If little old ladies want me to coo over them and flirt with them, I can do that.  If 20 something girls want me to joke around with them and tell them are great I can do that.  And if butch straight men want to talk sports…I change the subject and hope they didn’t notice.  So the conversation with the two lesbians continued and they asked me if there was anyone I had a little crush on at work.  And there is.  His name is Anthony and he’s absolutely beautiful.  He’s about 24 or 25 and has a great body, is somewhat intelligent and is nice on top of it all.  I told them I would have him stop by and say hi.  They immediately said no…and I laughed and told them I was kidding.  After they paid, they said they were going to hang out for a while because they had tickets to a show.  It was only 6:15 and so I asked if they would mind moving to my bar area so I could seat another table where they were sitting.  They said they didn’t mind.  After they were settled at the bar they asked for drink refills.  So I went to the kitchen and made their drinks and just as I was heading out of the kitchen I passed Anthony.  I suddenly acted like I was in the weeds (the weeds are when a waiter is super busy and everyone wants something at the same time) and asked Anthony if he would take their drinks to them.  He did.  And about three minutes later I walked by them and we all burst out laughing.  They screamed, “We know what you did.” To which I replied, “I told you I would have him stop by.”  And then they said they approved of my crush.  And that he was HOT.  H.  O.  T.  Hot.

And that my friends is what I learned tonight.

And isn’t nice when you spell check your blog post and it tells you nothing is mispelled.  What a nice way to end the evening….Of course I’m also glad it doesn’t check for grammatical errors…I’m just saying.

Maddog’s Cold Day In Maine

I flew to Maine today. When I left New York it was still somewhat warm with the slightest bit of drizzle falling. When I arrived in Portland the temperature was 75 below zero, and there was about 8 inches of snow on the ground and it was still coming down. The whole time we were landing I kept thinking…”why didn’t I fly some place warm to work and vacation.

Well here I am. It’s always nice being here, even if it is a working vacation. My friend Michelle and I spent the day running errands getting ready for the big show on Saturday. There was the trip to JoAnn Fabrics for miscellaneous craft stuff, there was the trip to the army/navy store for the uniform, a trip to Silly’s for lunch (they have the best fried pickles) and then off to run more errands. We finally arrived home around 3:30 and we were nowhere close to be finished. Michelle had somethings that needed to be done at home, so I planted myself on the sofa and napped off and on for about 45 minutes. And then it was time to go again. We had to go pick Oliver up from puppy play group, then run to the theatre, meet with the other drag kings, figure some things out and do all that by 8:00 before the puppy froze to death and we all fell down from exhaustion.

We still have about a million things to do, but we are getting there. Michelle is at the airport as we speak picking up other friends. There will be me and seven lesbians staying at their house this weekend. So if I disappear and no one ever hears from me again, you know what happened. All kidding aside, it should be fun. My weekend mostly involves telling lesbians what to do to make their show better, drinking beer and having a good time. What more could you ask for.

Because of the number of house guests I don’t know how easy it will be to do regular blog posts but I’ll do what I can. I’ll be back on Tuesday and at that point I’ll be ready to tell you about the insane dinner party I had last Monday.

The House Began To Pitch…

My mom called today while I was at the doctor.  It was unusual for her to call in the middle of the day on Wednesday and she knows better than to call me before noon so as soon as my appointment was over I called her back.  Turns out she was off today and was calling to tell me about the storms last night.  As most of you have heard by now there was an insane number of storms that moved across the south last night creating a path of destruction.  My mom was calling to tell me about the damage in Central Kentucky.  Of course by the time she was half through with her story I was completely annoyed with her.


Seems she went to bed as usual last night and went sound asleep.  Around 3:00 a.m. the thunderstorm that was happening outside woke her up.  According to her, it sounded pretty severe.  She had been awake maybe three or four minutes when the tornado siren just outside her house began to wail.  This is where she pissed me off.  Instead of taking cover or at least being prepared to do so, she went to the living room and turned on the TV.  She then proceeded to watch TV until the storm was over sometime later this morning.

Perhaps I’m over reacting, but it seems to me that if you receive a warning that your life might be in danger, you should heed it and take cover.  You should not plant yourself in front of the TV beside a huge ass picture window and watch the proceedings on TV.  She doesn’t have a basement so she should have at least been hiding out in the bathroom or her bedroom closet.   She kept laughing at me when I was scolding her today.  I think she thought I was kidding about all this.  I kept telling her that I was not.  I was dead serious.  She won’t give a fuck what’s on TV when her ass is being blown down the street.  Ugh.

I was equally annoyed when she told me about my aunt’s reaction to the storm.  My aunt and cousin live in a little community about 10 miles outside Lexington.  My cousin’s son who works third shift called his mother to tell her that the alarms had been sounded and to take cover.  She immediately ran to her other son’s house a few doors down that has a basement.  Before she left, she called my aunt who lives next door to her to tell her to get up and come to her son’s house.  This is what pisses me off.  My aunt refused to go because she was not going outside in the rain.  How fucked up is that?  As soon as I was off the phone with my mom I called my aunt as well and yelled at her.  I told her she wouldn’t care much about the rain if she was lying under a pile of rubble that used to be her house.

Clearly no one in my family was hurt in the storms.  But it annoys me and scares me that they don’t listen to the warnings.  I would have hated to be awakened this morning by a phone call telling me that anyone in my family had been hurt.  And although there are no guarantees, there are precautions a person can take to limit the amount of harm that occurs.  Little things like going to a basement, or a cellar, or into a bathroom, or a closet.  Covering yourself with blankets, or a mattress.  Not sitting in front of the picture window waiting for something terrible to occur.

Perhaps I care too much.

Maddog’s Day Off

Winter has finally arrived here.  The high temperature today was somewhere in the low 30’s and the high tomorrow is supposed to be 22 degrees.  Brrrrr.  I have been cold all night, and so as a result I’ve been wrapped in a blanket on the couch.  Of course being cold might have something to do with just wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, but then again maybe not.

I had the day off today and had planned to sleep late, but woke up almost 30 minutes before the alarm went off.  The alarm was set for noon, so it’s not like I got up early either way.  Of course I didn’t get to bed until almost 5:30.  I got home from work last night and was completely wired.  It had been another one of those nights waiting tables that makes you want to push people in front of moving trains.  I was stiffed 9 times last night.  And as always I don’t mean stiffed in the good way.  Nine different tables failed to tip me at all.  Unfortunately to0 many other people only tipped 10% or so, so the great tippers didn’t quite cover it all.  So I was a little grumpy when I got home and not ready for bed, so I read some blogs, wrote a blog entry, watched some TV, read and finally turned the light off at 5:20.

I was watching the news this morning afternoon when my phone rang.  I answered and before I knew it I had been on the phone all afternoon.  I had planned to run some errands, see Sweeney Todd, hang out downtown, and be back home for dinner and Project Runway.  Needless to say I had to re-think my schedule.

I didn’t even leave my house until almost 4:00.  Whoops.  I did manage to get most of my errands done but there was no time for a movie.  By the time I got to the bank, ran by work, and did a few other things my day was gone.  Oh, well I suppose Sweeney will still be playing next week.

What did amaze me was how much money I spent today.  My roommate and I were joking about how quickly money flies out of your pocket on your day off in New York.  I kept out 100 dollars today, to do everything I needed to do, plus eat dinner and get my laundry out of jail.  After I paid for dinner I had seven bucks left and I had yet to pay for my laundry.  How is that possible.  Of course, once I stopped to think about it, all the money was accounted for.  I just hated that I had spent that much money without even trying.  And it’s not like I did anything outrageous, or bought anything nice.  I did get some necessities though, so I guess spending the money was needed.  I just can’t spend anymore tomorrow until after I’ve worked.  Let’s hope the customers are being generous.

An Eye-opening Realization…

I’m tired.  I had way to much caffeine last night driving home from Boston and I was wired when I finally got to bed.  Couple that with the two guys screaming at each other next door and it was not a restful night of sleep.  Luckily, the cops finally came and shut the two guys up and eventually I was able to fall asleep.  Unfortunately, I was wide awake at 7:00 this morning.  And if you know me, that’s not typical at all.  I tried and tried to go back to sleep, to no avail, and finally got up at 8:30.   Needless to say, my butt has been dragging a little all day.

As usual there’s not much to report.  Michelle’s girlfriend Lisa got home last night and she spent the day cleaning.  I’ve never seen someone clean, as quickly, efficiently, and as thoroughly as she did.  She started around 11:00 and was still going at it at 4:00.  She was scrubbing floors, and vacuuming, doing laundry, and not a spot when uncovered.  I offered to help several times,  but she made it clear that I should just stay out of the way.  I ended up in my room reading.  At one point I was almost asleep and put the book down and just as suddenly I was awake.  After about 15 or 20 minutes of trying to get to sleep, I said fuck it and came down to my computer.  By that time she’d finished in this room and I was able to read some blogs in peace.

Michelle had worked the overnight shift at her job last night and finally woke up around 4:15 or so.  When she appeared she was all dressed to go walking.  I quickly changed and we headed to the bay.  There were a couple of shirtless boys but I didn’t think either of them were very cute.  There weren’t many people out walking.  The temperature at 5:00 was only around 63 so I think people are starting to stay inside more.

After the walk, we ran a couple of errands.  To the grocery to get some salad dressing for me.  I also picked up a steak for dinner.  It was very delicious.  Then we ran by the post office to drop off my Netflix movies and then to the video store so that Michelle could rent a movie for tonight.  We ended up with Factory Girl.  I hated it.  I thought it was a little bit one note that didn’t really go anywhere till the end.  The performances were great, but I didn’t care for the movie.  Then it was back home for dinner.

The kitchen is Lisa’s domain so she made dinner.  As always it was very good.  I did help set the table and I did some of the dishes afterward, but for the most part I was an innocent bystander.

But as I sat and watched my day unfold around me I became very aware of something.

I had mentioned that I was thinking about staying in Maine for a while.  I like it here, and have met some wonderful people who seem to like me a lot.  It’s been great spending time with Michelle and Lisa and I love them a lot.  But I realized today that I can’t continue to be a guest in their home.  It’s a wonderful place to visit.  They take very good care of me and I don’t think they mind my being here.  But it’s not my home.  Although I feel very comfortable here as a guest, I don’t feel comfortable to stay an extended amount of time.  I can’t watch TV.  I can’t lie on the couch.  I can’t walk around in my underwear.  I can’t leave my dirty dishes in the sink.  I can’t do a lot of things that I could do if this were my house.  And it’s not like they’ve done anything to make me feel anything other than welcome.  It’s just a reality.  If I stay here, I’ll be a guest if their home.  And I don’t want to be that.

I want to be someplace where I feel comfortable being me.  I want to be someplace where if I want to lie on the couch and watch a movie it’s no big deal.  I want to be feel like I belong where I am.  Some of you may ask, why don’t I just move to Portland then.  Well, it’s a little more complicated than that.  I have a  lease on an apartment in NYC that’s not up till next July.  I would never consider breaking the lease or just leaving my roommate holding the bag.  If it were a different roommate maybe.  But I care too much about Chuck to even consider doing that.  It’s also a little cost prohibitive.  If any of you have ever moved long distances, it would cost several thousand dollars to get my stuff from NYC to Portland.  And when you are unemployed 5 bucks is a lot of money.  Five thousand is unimaginable.

So that brings me back to being in Maine.  So I kind of came to the realization that I’m not going to stay.  In fact, if I had a little more notice I would leave for good tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I’ll have to rent a car to get back down there, and it cost more to do that with such little notice.  So on Friday, I’ll come back to Maine.  In the meantime I’m going to reserve a car for next Monday or Tuesday to take me back to the city.  And then I’m left with the very big task of finding a job.  I have to find something even if it’s working at McDonald’s to pay the bills until a job that I want comes open.  The kind of jobs that I’m looking for aren’t really hiring right now and won’t be for the next couple of months.  So next week I have to hit the pavement to look for something.

And now with all of this decided I have to tell Michelle.  She loves me a lot and only wants the best for me.  But I don’t think she’ll understand my reasoning when I say that I want to head back to NYC.  I just have to stand strong and not let her talk me out of it.

And on a last note.  Today was my weigh in.  I’ve lost 20.5 pounds.  Not too bad if I do say so myself.

Comedy Tonight!

I’m not sure that I’m ready for cold weather.   Tonight the temperature here is supposed to be in the mid 40’s.  That’s only a few degrees above freezing.  In August.  I may have too rethink living here.  Perhaps I should go to someplace like San Diego, or Orlando, or Phoenix where the winters are warm.  I don’t think I’m cut out for the cold weather.  Especially not in August.

My day started out great.  I was lying in bed having sex with a very cute guy I’d met earlier in the day.  Things were getting hot and heavy and then the phone rang.  And it woke me up.  And thus my guy was gone.  Sex was gone.  And I was trying to figure out where the fuck the phone was and why someone was calling me at such an ungodly time of the morning.  The phone had stopped ringing by the time I figured out where it was.  It was Sheila.  I waited to see if a message came through.  In just a couple of minutes there it was.  Still annoyed at having my dream interrupted, I checked the message to find out that she wanted me to come join her for breakfast.  As nice as the invitation was, I wasn’t through dreaming.  So I put my phone on the floor rolled over and went back to sleep.  Unfortunately, the cute boy was gone for good.  I don’t remember what I dreamed after that, but it definitely wasn’t sex and it wasn’t as much fun.

When I rolled over again it was 12:30.  I couldn’t believe that I’d slept so long.  I got up and did the morning routine.  Let Max out, fed her and then made my own breakfast.  After that I cleaned the kitchen.  Michelle’s girlfriend Lisa came home today and the kitchen is her domain, so I wanted it to look as nice as it did when she left.  I did the dishes, wiped down all the counters, swept the floor, wiped down the stove and took out the garbage.  It didn’t take long and it looked nice when I was finished.  After that I hit the computer to do some blog reading.  Not too many people had posted today, so I was able to get through most of them in about 45 minutes.

While I was reading I was also importing songs into I-Tunes.  I’d bought several CD’s in the last few months and I wanted the new music on my Ipod.  I also called and left a message for Sheila.  I said nothing about the disturbance of the dream, but did ask if I could tag along to watch her comedy act tonight.  Sheila is a comedian, and performs several times a year in the area.  She’d been driving down to Boston all weekend to participate in a comedy show.   I thought it would be nice to drive down with her and that way she wouldn’t have to travel alone.  She called back about an hour later to tell, me that it would be great if I went and another friend was also going and that I should meet her at her house in about an hour.

I finished up what I was doing, showered, let Max out, and headed to her house.  We left exactly on time, only to run into traffic about 30 minutes into our drive.  Seems we were with everyone else on the planet trying to get out of Maine and into Massachusetts.  All the weekenders were going home.  The two hour trip ended up taking almost 3.5 hours.  Luckily we left in plenty of time so we weren’t late.  That however, didn’t keep Sheila from worrying that we were going to be late.  By the time we got off the highway she was a nervous wreck.  Once we let her out at the theatre though, she calmed down.

We only stayed for the first half of the show, since it was 2 hours back to Portland, and they had to work tomorrow.  There were five comedians in the first half.  A couple of them were okay, but a little stiff.  Two of them were awful and I only laughed to be polite.  And then there was Sheila.  She was hysterical.  And I don’t just say this because I know her.  She was hands down miles above the rest.  The audience loved her and wouldn’t stop laughing and applauding.  They went wild when she finished her set.  It wasn’t just her jokes either.  Her facial expressions and body movement only helped with the humor.  She was the only comedian who didn’t plant herself on stage with the mic.  She was all over the stage telling her jokes.  I’m so glad I got to see her perform, because when she talks about her work she always makes it sound like she’s just mediocre.  But that’s far from the truth.

On the way home the conversation was great.  Two lesbians and a gay man talking about sex.  I was constantly amused at how little they knew about gay sex.  They didn’t realize that gay men sometimes use “toys” in their play.  They thought it was just lesbians.  They didn’t realize there was such a thing as a bad blow job.  They thought all gay men spend hours taking enemas for a night out.  The list of things they were curious about what extensive.  Just when I thought they’d exhausted their lists, they’d offer up another subject.  I just kept laughing and answering the best I could.  It did make the two hour trip home just fly by.

All in all it was a good day.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Super Bad Bill, Killed in Crash

It’s cold here tonight.  I’ve been freezing all night.  It’s supposed to get down to the low fifties/high forties.  It’s too early in the season for this.  It’s supposed to still be up in the 70’s every night.

Not much to report here.  It was another peaceful day in Maine.  Got up early (around 8:30) and  went downstairs.  Michelle had coffee made so I poured myself a cup.  Unfortunately, there was no sweetener so I had to drink it with just cream.  I think I got through about half the cup before I switched to Diet Coke.  While drinking the coffee/Diet Coke I surfed the web, caught up on some blog reading, and read the news.   Mother Nature seems to be in a fury the last two or three days.  Earthquakes and hurricanes.  What’s next?

After the news,  Michelle and I walked down to The Blue Spoon to grab lunch.  We were the first ones there, so we got served pretty quickly.  I had a burger (without the bun) and grilled vegetables.  It was delicious.  Michelle and I sat at the restaurant talking about nothing for a long time.  It was nice to just sit and relax and do nothing for a while.

After lunch I came back, got the vacuum out and did the whole house.  Max is shedding like no one’s business.  The back stairs were gray and fuzzy rather than brown and carpeted.  It took a long time to get it all done.  By the time I was finished, their was little evidence that Max had been here.

And then it was nap time.  I didn’t really nap.  I went upstairs, got in bed and read for about 30 or 40 minutes.  I started getting sleeping and put the book down and just sort of lay there zoning.  I never did really go to sleep, I think because I was cold.  The temperature has been down all day and the wind was blowing like crazy.   After the nap it was walk time.  Michelle had decided to join me, even though her back has been giving her problems.  So we set out for the bay.  We took it slow, so she wouldn’t strain her back, but we only added about 7 or 8 minutes to the normal time of the walk.  It was a boy free day on the Back Bay today.  Actually, it was almost a people free day.  We saw maybe twenty or so people out today and usually there are people everywhere.  It was okay, because Michelle and I just walked along chatting.

Michelle was invited to a barbecue tonight, but I didn’t feel like sitting around with a bunch of strangers so I stayed home.  I made myself dinner and planted myself in front of the TV and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1.  My god is it a violent movie.  I read on line after the movie that there are 95 people killed during the course of the film.  I’d say that’s a lot.  Of course the word fuck is only used 17 times so I guess there’s something to be said about that.  I don’t know if I liked it or not.  Visually it was stunning.  But after a while the blood and gore become just too much.  I’ll have to think about this for a while.

Speaking of movies.  Last night Michelle and I saw Super Bad at the theatre.  And how was it?  Well the title sums it up pretty well.  Super Bad!  And I dont’ mean bad in the good way.  It was one long joke that never went anywhere.  There were maybe four or five really funny moments but for the most part the movie is completely predictable and we just wanted it to be over.  I’m worried that maybe I’m just too old now to think it’s funny.  It is about 17 year olds looking for sex.   But I’ve been a 17 year old looking for sex, but I never acted like that.  But then again that might be because I was actually getting sex, but that’s a different story for a different post.

I also saw the movie Crash last night.  I had put off seeing it because I’m still bummed that it beat Brokeback Mountain for the Oscar.  It was an okay movie.  It’s a little too intense for me.  And I have to wonder if people are really that mean and cruel to each other.  I kept asking Michelle if we live in a bubble where we don’t see it.  Of course I’ve lived in New York, which is a pretty rough place to live and I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed that kind of abuse.  You guys will have to let me know what you think.

And that my friends is my Saturday.  Tune in tomorrow when it’s sure to be just as exciting.