HOME!!!!

I’m beat and I haven’t done a single damn thing today.

I never got to sleep last night. I finished writing the post you read today around 3:45 a.m. My ride to the airport showed up at 4:05 a.m. I was just putting my shoe on when she arrived. I gathered up my belongings and by gather up I mean she took a deep breath and lugged my bag out to the car. And then we were on the way. I could have fallen asleep immediately but I thought it would be rude to sleep while she drove. So we chatted. It was a nice drive. In no time at all we were at the airport.

The thing that was worrying us was how she would get my bag to the ticket counter since I couldn’t carry it and she couldn’t leave the car parked at the curb. When we got there it wasn’t that bad. She pulled up to the curb. She helped me out and then just lugged my bag inside. There was no one waiting so she dropped it and the counter and gave me a hug and ran back to her car. As soon as I turned around, the woman behind the counter had processed my boarding pass, asked to see my ID and then said to have a seat since the wheel chair was there. The lady with the wheel chair was great. She was too funny and too friendly.

First stop security.

I’ve flown a million times since 9/11, with the increased security. I’ve never had a problem getting through. I’ve never had my bags searched. I’ve never set off the metal detectors. But wouldn’t you know, as I hopped through on one leg today, the machine beeped. “I’ll need male assistance for search.” UGH!!! It’s not that I mind, it’s just that I minded today. I’m not allowed to sit down. I’m not allowed to have my crutches. I am balanced on one foot waiting to be moved into the security area to be “patted” down. Of course while I’m standing there another guy next to me sets off the alarm and practically pushed me down so that he could go first. Finally Mr. Security Guy comes over to process us. Needless to say, Mr. Pushy got processed first. I stood balanced on one leg for almost 20 minutes till it was my turn.

I hopped into the security area, terrified that I was going to loose my balance and land on my broken ankle. They kept asking if I needed a cane, but a cane is not crutches. I was allowed to sit down finally. But only for a second. The first thing they asked me to do was to stand up, stretch out my arms and stand there while they ran the wand over my body. And of course it found nothing. It never beeped, it never made any noise at all. But I had to stand there at least 10 minutes while the ran the wand everywhere. And then he was finished. Next I got patted down. And it’s my opinion that if I have to be patted down I should at least get a boy that’s cute. I’m just saying. So I get patted down and finally after balancing on one foot for 45 minutes I get to sit back down in the wheel chair, put on my shoe and start toward the gate.

As I said, wheel chair lady was sweet. She love my toenails. She commented that they matched my eyes. She took me to three stores to find one that sold Diet Coke. Diet Pepsi would just NOT do. Then she dropped me at the restroom. And then pushed me to the gate. I asked on the last leg of the trip whether I was supposed to tip her or not. I had never been wheeled through an airport before. She responded by saying that it was entirely up to me. I gave her ten bucks.

And now that I was at the gate it was time to sit and wait. The flight had been delayed thirty minutes because of weather in NYC. While I was sitting there the gate agent came over to check on me and offered to change my seat to one in the front of the plane. I told him I didn’t care as long as it was an aisle. And an aisle it was. Not long after that we were boarded and on our way.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. We landed and after a few minutes a not so nice lady arrived to wheel me to baggage claim. When we got there my driver was waiting for me. Within about 15 minutes or so, I was in the car on my way to my apartment. Of course the part that I had been dreading was still in front of me. I’m a large guy and bouncing up two flights of stairs is NOT fun. And as I suspected it was not. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the driver had not been in a hurry to drop off my bag and leave. So I hopped as fast as I could. Of course I missed the top step and almost fell backwards which in and of itself would have been hysterical, don’t you think.

So I’m home, I’m tired. I’m a little grumpy. So I’m going to go sleep in my own bed.

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Day 18 In The Land of Corn…Day Three and Closing of the Show…Day 4 of the Cast…and 4 more hours till I’m home.

As I start typing this it’s 2:48 a.m.  It’s my last day/evening in Iowa.  Unless I don’t make it to Des Moines to the airport of if by some reason the plane doesn’t take off, I should be home in about six hours.  My flight lands in New York at 9:35, and with any luck I should be in my apartment by 10:30 or so.  Of course when I actually walk through  the door depends on how long it takes to get to the third floor on crutches.  I just got off the phone with airline to let them know that I would need a wheel chair in NYC.  I’m not doing so bad with the crutches, but if I don’t have to walk, I’m not going to.

For the most part I’m starting to be acclimated to the foot.  Of course every once in a while I forget that it’s broken and bang it on something, or put more weight on it than I should.  I end up regretting that for the next several hours.  Last night I almost fell off the stage and landed on my foot.  Tonight getting out of the bathtub I slipped and put too much weight on it.  I end up propping it up for a couple of hours afterward and popping the Tylenol-3.  It dulls the pain pretty well, but makes me a bit loopy.  Hopefully, when I get to NYC I can become a recluse and just hang out at home.  Of course there’s a gathering of students from grad school tomorrow night that I would love to go to, but I don’t think that I’m up to it.  Which sucks because it would be nice to see everyone and let them buy me beers since I’m injured.  At least I think they would buy me beers.

So the show closed today.  I wasn’t sad, and I don’t think I’ll miss it.  Sometimes you work on shows that you become very close to and you are sad when you leave them, or when the close.  I think the show here was beautiful and everyone liked my work.  But I wasn’t attached to it the way I sometimes am.  I do look forward to getting the photographs of the show and there are videos as well.  I’m hoping to have my professional resume updated soon, since I can’t really do much else.  I haven’t updated it in a year so it’s about time I got to it.

After the show there was a round of thanks.  A couple of the students sincerely came up to me and offered thanks.  One girl in particular was extremely gracious.  However, for the most part they just filed out of the theatre with out even acknowledging me.  The “dude’ who conveniently missed his own tech and was late the next day with neither an apology or an excuse didn’t even bother to approach me.  He’s either entirely self-centered or terribly ashamed of his behavior.  Either way it’s completely unacceptable for him to behave that way.  Whether he wants to admit it or not, my design added the final element to his choreography and made it complete.  Without my work, the entire concept would have been lost.  And I’m not patting myself on the back.  His entire piece was about playing with light and shadow and it’s effect on the space.  It’s hard to deal with light and shadow without a lighting designer.  Or at least I think so.  If someone else can figure out how to do it, perhaps they can let me know.

So the show was over, and the artistic staff all gathered in the back to say our goodbyes.  That part was actually kind of sad.  I love the people that I work with here, and they make doing my job effortless.  I’m going to have to pick up something for the TD from NYC and send it to him when I get home.  I just don’t know what that will be.  If you have any ideas let me know.

After the show, all of the people from my house went home to hang out.  We were there about 30 minutes before we left to go get burgers from the local steakhouse.  I’ve never wished I had my camera more.  The place  looked like it hadn’t had a face lift since 1972.  And even then it would have been poorly decorated.  The walls were concrete.  There was  barn wood paneling in the entry way.  The tables were probably old in 1952 from the way they rocked back and forth and the brown formica covering on them.  There was fresh bouquets of flowers on each table.  And by fresh I mean they were bought at the Dollar Store at least 10 years ago and hadn’t been washed or dusted since.  There was a fake fireplace against the wall in the non-smoking part of the restaurant with a mantel and lovely fake blue flowers in vases.  The wall above it sported a nifty wooden clock that was way to small for the space it was taking up, and next to it were two sconces that looked like they were straight out of Home Interiors.  (I was going to put a link to their website but you have to register to use it so never mind).  The bathroom was my favorite part.  It was a huge room made of cinder blocks that were painted red.  There was a stall in one corner that barely took up an space.  On the wall that was about 25 feet long there were two urinals placed right next to each other.  With no divider with nothing else on the wall.  I was reminded of a porn movie from the 80’s where two guys met in the restroom and ended up fucking on the floor next to the urinal.  With the size of this restroom you could have had sex with the entire New England Patriots football team and still had enough room for a tupperware party.  The waitress was wonderful.  She was a no nonsense kind of gal.   No pleasantries.  No hello.  No thank yous.   It was clearly a what do you want, I’ll bring it to you kind of establishment.  As I said I’m pissed as hell that I didn’t bring my camera.

On the way home we stopped at the evil store Wal-Mart to get toe-nail polish.  It was decided that since the polish from my pedicure was peeling off that I should repaint my nails a very smart color in honor of my cast.  Especially since everyone would be seeing my toes now.  I sent them all in with the request that the polish not be purple.  They came out with a very stylish blue.  It was glossy and the color matches my eyes.  It was just the thing.

The only other thing I asked for was two 20 oz. bottles of Diet Coke so I didn’t have to stop this morning to get one for the hour + ride to the airport.  I didn’t see them put them in the car and I didn’t see them until two minutes ago.  They got two 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke.  How the fuck am I supposed to drink a 2-liter bottle in the car.  Let alone two?  Do you really need a Ph.D. to figure this out.  I’m just saying.

Once we were home, I spent an hour packing.  It should have taken about 12 minutes, but when you only have one foot it makes things a little difficult.  I would have to hop to one side of the room and get things.  And then to the other side of the room to get other things.  And then I would have to stop and rest because I’m just to old and fat to be hopping around the room.  And of course at least twice I stepped down on my foot sending little shards of pain through my ankle.  Eventually it was done and I called down for someone to get my bag.

Next step.  Bathe.

Cleaning myself has become a chore.  I can’t shower so I have to take a bath.  I can’t get my foot wet so I have to use the foot condom.  It takes forever to get my pants off.  And  then there’s the issue of getting into the tub without breaking my other ankle and without further damaging the one that’s already broken.  In all it takes about 45 minutes start to finish.  Which is great if you are relaxing with a bottle of wine and a candle.  Not so much if not.  So I spent a good deal of time getting clean to day.

Then it was time to do the nails.

First step…take off the old polish.

Next step add the polish.

And the finished product.

Ignore that second toe.  I damaged the nail years ago running.  It’s a condition known as runner’s toe and causes the toenail to become black and sometimes fall off.  Since that happened it’s never been normal since.  And well today when I clipping my toenails in preparation of the painting the entire nail came off.  Of course it has to be the foot with the cast so everyone can see it.  But what’s a girl to do.  Que Sera, Sera

The American Family Association strikes again!!

I love getting emails from the AFA. The American Family Association. Today’s was especially funny. It even had a video attached to the email so that I could see the sick and despicable things that the homosexuals of America are doing. The body of the email was protesting a hate crimes bill that is being voted on in Congress. A bill that would protect these sick and evil people. Yuck. I have attached the video. In the words of Donald Wildmon founder and chairman “Warning! The video is highly offensive, but it is real footage from the actual parade.” Enjoy. I will warn you though the video does seem to have a preoccupation with twirling rifles…so it might not be safe for work.

Update: Seems YouTube pulled the first video, from my blog as well as the AFA’s website. Not to be outdone, they posted a different video this time from Chicago Pride. I’m sorry to say there’s no flag twirling in this video, but lot’s of cute, offensive boys.

Spring Awakening…

I slept wonderfully last night. I’d been looking forward to sleeping in my own bed for two months and it was everything I dreamed it would be. It was warm, and firm and it was a queen not a twin. It took all of my strength to get my ass out of bed this morning afternoon. I didn’t want to leave it. I wanted to cherish the moment. Hmmmmm…..

It was also nice just spending time in my apartment today. I hung out and did nothing for a long time, before I showered and headed downtown. The only thing on my agenda today was trying to get tickets for Spring Awakening for this week. I stopped by the box office fully expecting to be told that they were completely sold out. But what would you know. Not only did they have tickets but they were 10th row center. Exactly what I would have requested if I were give my preference. So I shelled out the 110 bucks and was on my way. I’ll add at this point that I hate that Broadway tickets have become so expensive. For that reason, I pick and choose carefully what I’m going to see because it costs so much. This show was completely worth it.

This is a little blurb about it. I’ll write more about the show later this week.

Spring Awakening