8.5 Thick Uncut Cock for PnP/BB into WS and FF– 28 (Chelsea)

My mother loved her computer.  She told me the guy who delivered it kept asking if she was okay because she was all choked up.  Of course she yelled at me for buying it, but I knew she would.  I did tell her that she had five minutes to get all of the old stuff out of her house.  It has to go.  The two computers, the two printers, the two monitors, the cables…everything.  It has to go.  My mother is a pack rat of the most serious kind.  She doesn’t throw anything away for fear it might be useful one day.  But I told her the only condition of the gift was all the other stuff had to go.

And now on for more amusing things.  I spend a lot of time watching TV these days.  And I spend a lot of time on the Internet.  TV.  Internet.  TV.  Internet.  (Does anyone know why these words get capitalized?  Just curious.)

Did anyone know that you could order in boys?  Yeap.  You can go online, write a profile, wait for someone to find you interesting,  invite them over and then get into all sorts of trouble.  I didn’t know this.  Believe or not I haven’t done anything like this since 1901.  Seriously, it was probably 2001 the last time I did this.  In NYC it’s quicker to just go out and get it.   When you go out there are no endless emails back and forth.  No fuzzy pictures.  No hot men with 12″ dicks showing up at your house weighing 310 with a 4″ penis.  Nope.  In NYC it’s more efficient to do your shopping in the store.

But let’s just say that your ankle is broken.  And you are bored at home.  And you are kind of going stir crazy.  Perhaps then, and only then would you actually try shopping on line.  And so for the past few days I’ve tried this.  I’ve discovered a few things and want to point out a few things.

1.  Is it really possible that only people under the age of 35 have sex in NYC?

2.  Does every man in NYC have a worked out body with six pack abs?

3. Does every man in NYC have an 8.5 thick uncut cock?  If this is true I’ve been looking in all the wrong places all this time.

4.  By the way:  I’m not Latino, a bro, a thug, a nigga, I’m not KOOL, or kewl, i’m not down wit dis, o up wit dat.   I’m just saying.

5.  Does every gay man in NYC weigh 182 with a 32 inch waist with a swimmer’s body?

6. Not everyone lives in the WV, EV, UWS, LES, FD, WS, PS, BX, or UES.

7. Not everyone will PNP or BB.  Nor do they ski.  (For any novices out there that means…Party-n-Play, Bareback or do coke.  I had to ask what the last one was because I’m too old to know.)

8.  Do people really think that it’s all about the cock shot.  Not speaking for anyone else but a clear face shot of a cute boy goes a lot further than the picture of his 8.5 thick uncut cock.

9.  I find it interesting today that the one site I was on which asks your status, only has one person who is positive out of the 150 on the site.  Am I to believe that men who are positive don’t cruise for sex.  Or should I believe no one’s owning up to it.

10.  The fact that you have an HIV test from 04.26.08 that says you are negative, is only true if you haven’t had sex in the six months prior to the test.  And it still won’t keep me from playing safe.

11.  Don’t tell me you are DDF (drug and disease free) if you let men cum in your mouth.  You might be.  You might not be.

12.  I’m sure someone thinks your pictures in women’s underwear are hot.  But it’s not me.

13.  I don’t know how to break this to you.  But if you are sucking dick, getting sucked, fucking or getting fucked BY A MAN…YOU ARE GAY!!!!  At the least you are BI.  It is impossible for you to be straight if you like doing these things.

14.  If you list in you profile that you don’t do drugs with the the comment 420/Poppers okay.  Perhaps you haven’t realized they’re  drugs.

15.  No one really believes that it’s your first time being fucked and you’ve decided that it should be a complete stranger you’ve met online.  It’s probably the 5th time you’ve been fucked today.

16.  I’m not generous.  I can be generous, for instance I bought my mom a computer for Mother’s Day.  I won’t be generous to you.  I won’t give you 20 bucks to touch your cock.  I won’t give you 50 to suck it.  I won’t give you 75 to let you trim my hair.  I won’t pay a 125 for an in call massage.  I won’t pay 175 for an out call massage.  And I won’t pay 200+ for whatever else that gets you.  I may be old and overweight, but I refuse to pay for it….yet.

17.  I don’t care that you are on the DL (down low) if you don’t send me a picture we aren’t going to play.  What do you think I’m going to do.  Come and find your girl friend and show her a picture of your face?  Really?

18.  You don’t go to hook up websites to meet your next boyfriend.  So if you are on Manhunt with a screen name of hungnhornytop with a picture of your 8.5 thick uncut cock.  You are probably not looking for a date.

19.  Changing your screen name from yesterday doesn’t mean I don’t remember the photograph especially since it’s you modeling your 8.5 thick uncut cock.

20.  And last but not least.  Get off your pretentious high horse.  We are both on the same site.  Doing the same thing.  Don’t think you are better than me and definitely lose the attitude.  If you are not interested in someone be polite and say so.  But don’t think just because you have an 8.5 thick uncut cock that you are the end all be all.  You will someday be over 35, and you’ll lose your six pack, and someone with a real measuring tape will show you that your 8.5 thick uncut cock is 6.5 inches and was circumcized when you were born because you’re Jewish, not Latino.

It’s fun learning new things when you are stuck at home.

Below is an ad I found on Craigslist today in the NYC>m4m>manhattan site today.  Trust me this is completely safe for work unless the oysters are bad.

It’s verbatim.  I cut and pasted it into the post.

Oysters on the Half Shell – 32 – (Chelsea) pic

24 oysters, such as Malpeque, Kumamoto, or Belon
Crushed ice or rock salt
Cucumber Mignonette Sauce, recipe follows

Scrub the oysters under cold water with a stiff brush to remove the dirt, especially in the hinge area where mud has a tendency to get trapped. Next, find a durable thick cloth and fold it over several times to create a square; this will steady the oysters as you shuck them and also protect your hand. Using the towel as a mitt, place the oyster, cup-side down in the palm of your towel-covered hand with the hinge facing you; have a small bowl handy to catch the delicious juice. Insert the tip of an oyster knife or dull butter knife as far into the hinge as it will go; don’t jab it in there or you could break the shell. With gentle force, twist the knife back and forth to pry the shell open. Using the knife, cut the muscle away from the top shell, bend the shell back, and discard it. Run the knife underneath the oyster to detach it completely, but leave it in its shell. Tip out the briny liquor into the bowl and pour it back over the shucked oysters. Nestle the oysters in a bed of crushed ice or rock salt to keep them steady. Spoon the cucumber mignonette on top and serve as part of a raw shellfish bar.

Cucumber Mignonette Sauce:
1 cup rice wine vinegar
1 shallot, minced
1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and grated
1/2 hothouse cucumber, peeled and minced
Several turns freshly ground black pepper
1 handful fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

In a small bowl, combine the rice wine vinegar, shallots, ginger, cucumber, black pepper, and cilantro; mixing with a fork. Cover and chill for at least 1 hour or up to the day before you plan to serve, to allow the flavors to come together. Serve with raw oysters and clams.
Yield: 1 cup

I don’t know if the guy posted the recipe in the wrong section, if he was being funny, or if he’s completely insane.  I do know that I cut and pasted it onto my computer to show you.  About an hour later there was a recipe for corn, but I didn’t think that was as funny.

Tomorrow I’ll post a picture of my 8.5 thick uncut cock.


Day 1 In The Land of Corn

Well I made it. I’m in the Land of Corn as this man calls it. I’ll be here till the morning of the 26th. That means I have 17 LONG, VERY LONG days in front of me. Actually I’ll be busy for most of them. At least off and on. The actual scope of the projects has yet to be figured out by anyone least of all me. I’ll have my first face to face meeting tomorrow so I’ll be a little bit better equipped to let you know what’s going on then.

So my day. I didn’t get up till noon. I slept more than 10 hours last night. This after staying up all night the night before to get my light plot finished. When the alarm went off I was still fast asleep. In fact, I was in the middle of dream where everyone hated me because I was bitching about something. This was at my undergrad school although everyone who was there was older. There was a bunch of stuff that happened, including my roommate dumping me for someone else because I was complaining about the state of the dorm we were going to be living in. There was much screaming at me, and embarrassing me by everyone involved. And then just as I woke up I found my friend SK and she was finally nice to me. She agreed to be my roommate and we were just headed to the dorm when the alarm went off. It was a very disturbing dream. I think it was forshadowing of things to come.

Once I was up, I had my usual pot of coffee and watched the news. It was a slow new day. The only thing of importance was the Olympic torch thing in San Francisco. But at that time, there wasn’t much to report. After the news and coffee I showered and then I started packing. I usually don’t pack until the day of the trip. I make little piles in my bedroom (or sometimes the living room). Each pile is important and I stick things there so I know I won’t forget them. So all my piles were complete, and it was time to make it fit in the bag. I probably should have used my monster bag since I was going to be gone so long. But it weighs a ton without clothes and I have never taken it to the airport that I didn’t have to unload something to get it under 50 pounds.

So I used my large carry on bag. It all fit…but barely. By the end I was stuffing socks and underwear into shoes and the corners of the bag. It took about 20 minutes just to get it all to fit. Then it was time to pack my computer bag. It’s just as difficult to pack as the regular bag. First in my medications. I always take them with me just in case the airline loses my bags. I can’t miss a dose. Next I actually need my computer and all it’s cables, mouse, mouse pad, etc. Then my phone charger. Then the book I’m reading and the book I’m going to be reading. Then all the paperwork that pertains to the show. A couple of legal pads to take notes on. A couple of diet cokes, because they cost 10 million dollars a piece at the airport. And then I look around and try to figure out what I’m forgetting.

Today I didn’t figure out what I was forgetting till I was half way to the airport. I forgot the cable to my camera. So as of right now I can’t download pictures to my computer. I sent an email to the tech director on the show asking if he knew where I might find one. If he doesn’t have an answer then I’ll order one and have it sent here. I can’t not post pictures of my wonderful adventures.

At 2:45 the car arrived to take me to the airport. Getting to any of the three airports in the metropolitan area can be very tricky. It can take three minutes or it can take 90 minutes or more. So you have to build in time to get there. I always take a car service. It’s much easier having a car show up at an alloted time and you don’t have to worry if there are no cabs. I won’t take public transportation because it takes too long and I don’t want to carry my bags any farther than I have to. The other nice thing about my taking a car is that I charge it to my friend Lou’s account. Then he expenses it to his company. So neither of us really has to pay. Just don’t tell anyone this.

So I get to the airport in exactly17 minutes. I had given myself an hour. I had also allotted two hour at the airport because I was flying American Airlines and the other news story of the day was that AA had canceled 850 flights in the US today. I was a little worried. I had checked online and my flight was scheduled to depart with no delays and had not been canceled but I was also worried that there would be a million people in line and it would take forever to check in. Exactly 36 minutes after I left my home, I was at the airport, checked in and through security. What the fucks that about.

So now I had to waist almost three hours. So I though I would get some lunch. What I quickly discovered was the only real restaurant was outside security. So back out I went. I went to Something Rock restaurant. It was like a knock off of the Hard Rock Cafe. I grabbed a seat in the back and the waitress approached me. I ordered a beer and a chef’s salad. Not so healthy/healthy all at the same time. And so my beer came and I made a couple of phone calls. Then lunch arrived and I ordered another beer. Then the salad was taken away and I had another beer. Why so many beers. I hate to fly. Actually I don’t mind flying. It’s the take off that scares me. So I always have a few drinks or take some Attavan. Sometimes both. It takes the edge off and I usually don’t mind the take off so much.

So I had my three beers and wandered back through security and down to my gate. I still had an hour-fifteen to go. So I made some more phone calls. I talked to my roommate Chuck, and my friend Donna, and my friend Angie. And while I was talking to Angie, I was cruised by a little 20 something frat boy. At first I was surprised but we he beckoned me to follow him. What could I do but follow him. So I told Angie I would call her back and followed him. And he went into the men’s restroom. At this point all I could think of was Larry Craig getting arrested and that really wouldn’t make my day. But I wanted to see what he was up to so I followed. He went to the urinal, and I went to the one next to him. I stood there long enough to see his erect penis smile at him and then went away. It was a very nice penis I might add. When I got back out of the restroom I called Angie back and started walking toward my gate. Just as I got there they called my name to come to the desk. And so I said good-bye to Angie and went to the counter. They shouted at me to go to the plane they were just about to close the gate.

Damn, I’d been on the phone not paying attention and almost missed my flight. It didn’t help that I was a little tipsy and had already changed the time on my watch so I was kind of thinking I still had an hour. Whoops. Luckily, I got on the plane but they’d given my seat away so I was in the back next to the bathroom. This wouldn’t have been so bad but every time the door opened the most foul smell in the world came sweeping out. It smelled like a port-o-potty that hadn’t been cleaned in weeks. It was disgusting. I tried to tune it out. So I put on my I-pod and went to sleep.

And the plane arrived exactly on time. I got my rental car which took all of about three minutes since it’s billed through the school and all they needed was a license to make sure I was who I was supposed to be. So then I was on my way. First stop the movies. I had decided to stop by and just see what was happening. And the answer was not much. I did meet a nice boy from the University of Iowa. But that’s a story for another time. Maybe even for another blog. And then I headed east to my little town of 12 people.

I got here around 10:30 and of course the place was dead. They roll up the sidewalks and lock everyone away for the evening. Even McDonald’s and Dairy Queen were closed. I went and go the key to my place from security and then drove to my humble abode. As always it is in Iowa, it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.

My arrangements are such. It’s an old house that has been turned into sleeping rooms. There’s one bath up and one bath down that are shared by the many guests of the house. Tonight I think I’m the only one here, but it was 10:30 when I got here so they may have been in bed already. My room consists of a bed and a dresser and a night stand with a lamp. That is all. No TV. No desk. It’s a little bare. I’ve already sent an email to the tech director at school saying that I need something to use as a desk with a chair so that I can work on my computer. Right now I’m sitting in the kitchen which is ablaze with flourescent lighting. It’s the only surface in the apartment that I can sit at. The rest of the house is such. There is a kitchen that is stocked with a couple of plates and some silver ware. There is A skillet but no pans. There is a stove but except for the skillet nothing to cook with. There is a coffee pot and a microwave and a toaster. It’s all white so with the lighting it’s BLINDING in here.

After I explored the accomodations, I was off to Wal-Mart for Diet Coke. One can not live on water alone. I got to Wal-mart and I wanted to get coffee, a coffee mug, some half and half, sweet and low, and a few things to nibble on. I had been told I would be staying in a furnished apartment so I thought I would be some place where I could cook. That’s obviously not the case. I did buy some microwavable dinners so that I don’t have to eat out everyday. As it is eating out consists of McDonald’s, Hardee’s and Dairy Queen. The KFC is too far away to get to. There’s also a smoked filled restaurant called Kelsey’s which I went to when I was here last spring, but it’s hard to eat when the entire restaurant is smoking. I had forgotten that you could actually smoke indoors in some places.

So after Wal-mart is was home to put everything away. Unpack. And then make dinner. I bought a sub sandwich at the grocery which I took a picture of today. The reason I got it was because it made me laugh. You’ll understand when I post the picture. Then I watched an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent can I tell you how much I hate Vincent D’Onofria. He spends the entire show with his head cocked to one side, yelling at people. He is know Christopher Meloni. Who is my boyfriend. He just doesn’t know it.

And that is the wrap up of Day 1 in the Land of Corn, better known as Iowa.

PS: It’s late and I’m too tired to proof this. If there are any typos, misspellings or other confusions please forgive me. I know not what I do.



I often wonder how I manage to be up so late every night. Even when I try to get to bed early I end up going to bed later than I want to.

It’s been one of those days.

First, my little encounter with Paul was canceled today. He’s from Philadelphia and had to leave earlier than expected. He apologized and told me he would call me when he’s in town in a couple of weeks. I’ll keep you posted on whether that happens or not.


I’m officially NOT going to be a bartender at work. I was offered the position today, but I’d already decided that based on how I was being treated I didn’t want to work for the new manager. I’ve also realized by talking to the bartenders that I would take a serious pay cut to be a bartender. At least in the beginning. I would get all the shit shifts and would end up working mostly days. I hate working days and I don’t think I could live on the money they were describing. I also realized that I have it easy right now. I get the schedule I want. I work in the stations that I want. If I need a day off it’s no problem. If I want to give up a shift it’s no problem. And all that would change if I became a bartender. So I told the manager no. We’ll see if he’s mad at me over the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is my big Broadway day.


A friend of mine is working on the new production of Gypsy with Patti Lupone. She’s going to walk me into the show tomorrow afternoon so that I can watch for free. I’m excited. Gypsy is one of my favorite shows. I think it’s because it’s the first play I was ever in. I played Pop, Rose’s father. “You ain’t getting 88 cents from me Rose.” At 16 I was very believable as a 65 year old man. Really I was. Anyway, so I get to see the show tomorrow. As I said it’s one of my favorites. Hearing the overture live, is worth the price of admission. It’s considered the best overture in musical theatre. If you didn’t know I was gay. You do now. And then on top of all of this is seeing Patti Lupone again. I think she’s great. And it’s a role she was born to play. I’ll report in tomorrow night on how she is.


And then tomorrow night I’m seeing The Little Mermaid. When I got to work tonight they were giving away tickets to everything. Concerts, plays, etc. I could care less about the concerts but who wouldn’t want to see The Little Mermaid, even though I’ve heard it’s bad. It’s Disney. How bad could it really be? So once again I’ll report in tomorrow night and let you know how it is.

That’s a wrap.

My Day Off…

I had an interesting day today.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist.  And an appointment to get my taxes done.  My 2006 taxes.

First up.  The doctor’s appointment.  I don’t mind seeing my shrink.  He’s very good at what he does and over the years has changed my life for the better.  It also helps that he’s a little cute.  Today’s appointment was just like usual.  He wanted to know what was going on in my life.  What I was doing for fun  How work was going.  Both theatre and waiting tables.  Then there were the usual questions about whether I’ve been thinking about killing myself.  Any drug use?  How much drinking?  Then we talked about the changes in my medication from last month.  He upped the dosage on one and it definitely seems to be working.   And I told him this.  I’m sleeping less, not as grumpy, haven’t had any anxiety attacks, etc.  We then talked about the stuff I hate talking about.  My sex life and my eating habits.  He’s not judgemental about either thing but he does have his concerns.  First he thinks that I should probably find healthy venues for my sexual outlets.  Not because there’s anything wrong with where I go, but because I’m never going to find a partner or even friends in these places.  I’ve always hated talking about my sex life so it’s never fun for me.

And then we moved on to my eating habits.  I haven’t mentioned it here, but I’ve gained back a lot of the weight I lost last summer and last fall.  I don’t know why this has happened but it has.  For all my trying to get back on track I’ve not been successful.  This lead to a very serious conversation today.  My doctor feels that I’m using food as a means to keep people away.  If I’m trapped in my fat suit, and don’t feel comfortable putting myself out there then I won’t.  And things will stay status quo.  He feels this this is a bad thing and told me as much.  He said to stop worrying about what will happen if I lose the weight and keep it off.  We can deal with those issues when they come up.  But to get started losing the weight.  He’s never talked to me so direct and forceful before.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  But at least it’s got me thinking.  I do have to do something, I’m just not sure what the answer is.

And that was the visit to my shrink.

And then I went to get my taxes done.  As I mentioned it was my 2006 taxes.  I started to do them myself last spring while I was living in Iowa but they became too complicated to do on Turbo Tax.  So I filed an extension.  And well, I just never got around to doing it.  So before I fill out this years taxes, I have to do last years taxes.  So I headed off to meet Mary, the lady doing my taxes.  She was very nice.  But I’m not sure she’s the best person for the job.  My roommate’s accountant recommended her and as I said she’s very nice.  But I began to have my doubts when she started asking me what the pop up window on the computer meant.  She also couldn’t decide what I could and couldn’t deduct.  For a while I could deduct my moving expenses.  Then I couldn’t.  Then I could.   Unfortunately it’s too late to really find someone else so I think I’m just going to have to trust her.

I have to drop off some information that I forgot today and then she’s going to do all the calculations.  I think when it’s all said and done I’m going to owe money.  She was just a little vague on how much.  And then I sitll have to do this years taxes, and I KNOW that I’ll owe money this year.

It’s going to be a couple of very tight months.

Maddog’s Night of Almost Fun

I need you guys to do me a favor.

The next time I even think about bringing someone home with me.  Slap me really hard.

I was on the subway tonight, minding my own business, tapping my foot to the music playing on my Ipod.  I was about 4 stops from home when I noticed a very cute Hispanic boy down the way looking at me.  For a while I ignored him, but it became more and more apparent that he was cruising me.  So I started looking back.  And then he smiled.  And then I smiled.  And this went on till I got off the train.  Just before the doors closed he got up and got off the train as well.

And so he approached me on the platform.  He said hello.  I said hello back.  His English was terrible and I couldn’t really understand what he was saying.  I know he was from the Dominican Republic, his name was Alex, and that he was cute.  And so what was I to do but to invite him home with me.

I should say at this point, that I have lived in my current apartment since July of 2006 and I’ve never brought anyone home before.  In fact, the only action my room has ever gotten was the “action” I get from my right hand.  So this was a big deal to invite someone home with me.

And so we started home.  We chatted as we walked.  Well sort of.  He talked and I said, uh-huh a lot.  He did ask me if I lived alone and if I had a boyfriend.  My answers were no, and no.   And so as we arrived at my apartment I explained that he needed to be quiet and we headed for the bedroom.

And this is where things started to disintegrate.  I went to the bathroom, and when I came out he was almost naked.  So much for the fun of undressing him.  Second, he shouldn’t have removed his hat.  He was mostly bald.  Not that I don’t like bald men, because I do.  But he was not one of the more attractive bald men I’ve seen.  A good example of what I’m talking about is Kenny Chesney, the country music star.

With the hat, very cute.


Without the hat, not so much.


And then he grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.  I’ve noticed this in other Hispanic men I’ve been with.  They latch onto  you, like their life depends on it, and there’s not getting them to back off.  After about 15 seconds of this, I was pushing him away with all my might.  And I still couldn’t get him to relent.  This basically went on the whole time we were having sex.  Ugh.  And then there was the sex.  He was terrible.  And because he didn’t speak English, there was no getting him to understand what I wanted.  And trust me I tried.  And when it became clear what this was amounting to, all I wanted was for him to cum and go.  And unfortunately that took forever.  Ugh, again.  Of course I haven’t gotten to the two best parts.  First, he told me he loved me, over and over the whole time we were having sex.  And then would follow that with, mi amour.  And then I love you.  Then mi amour.  And then when it couldn’t get any worse, he asked me if I loved him.  And I wanted to laugh.  Actually I wanted him to leave but what can you do.  And then…………..he finally came.  And then we were lying there.  And it quickly became apparent that he wanted to spend the night.  No way.  I let him lie there for about 5 minutes and then said, well you gotta go.  To which he responded that he only wanted to stay for three hours.  And I said, NO.  And then he asked again.  And I said NO.  And then I explained that he couldn’t be there when my roommate got up.  And then he asked me if my roommate was my boyfriend.  And well what could I say.  YES, YES, YES…he’s my boyfriend.  And this pissed him off royally.  He didn’t speak to me again.  Not while he was getting dressed.  Not when he was leaving.  Not at all.  He shook my hand just before he went out the door.  He was visibly pissed.  But what was I to do.  I hadn’t known him long enough to be in love.  There was no way I was letting a stranger sleep over.  Especially since the sex was bad.  And well he just had to go.

And that my friends, is why I need you to slap me the next time I even consider bringing a stranger home with me.

Of course I should mention, the he was Dominican in every sense of the word.  If only he’d known what to do with it.

Comedy Tonight!

I’m not sure that I’m ready for cold weather.   Tonight the temperature here is supposed to be in the mid 40’s.  That’s only a few degrees above freezing.  In August.  I may have too rethink living here.  Perhaps I should go to someplace like San Diego, or Orlando, or Phoenix where the winters are warm.  I don’t think I’m cut out for the cold weather.  Especially not in August.

My day started out great.  I was lying in bed having sex with a very cute guy I’d met earlier in the day.  Things were getting hot and heavy and then the phone rang.  And it woke me up.  And thus my guy was gone.  Sex was gone.  And I was trying to figure out where the fuck the phone was and why someone was calling me at such an ungodly time of the morning.  The phone had stopped ringing by the time I figured out where it was.  It was Sheila.  I waited to see if a message came through.  In just a couple of minutes there it was.  Still annoyed at having my dream interrupted, I checked the message to find out that she wanted me to come join her for breakfast.  As nice as the invitation was, I wasn’t through dreaming.  So I put my phone on the floor rolled over and went back to sleep.  Unfortunately, the cute boy was gone for good.  I don’t remember what I dreamed after that, but it definitely wasn’t sex and it wasn’t as much fun.

When I rolled over again it was 12:30.  I couldn’t believe that I’d slept so long.  I got up and did the morning routine.  Let Max out, fed her and then made my own breakfast.  After that I cleaned the kitchen.  Michelle’s girlfriend Lisa came home today and the kitchen is her domain, so I wanted it to look as nice as it did when she left.  I did the dishes, wiped down all the counters, swept the floor, wiped down the stove and took out the garbage.  It didn’t take long and it looked nice when I was finished.  After that I hit the computer to do some blog reading.  Not too many people had posted today, so I was able to get through most of them in about 45 minutes.

While I was reading I was also importing songs into I-Tunes.  I’d bought several CD’s in the last few months and I wanted the new music on my Ipod.  I also called and left a message for Sheila.  I said nothing about the disturbance of the dream, but did ask if I could tag along to watch her comedy act tonight.  Sheila is a comedian, and performs several times a year in the area.  She’d been driving down to Boston all weekend to participate in a comedy show.   I thought it would be nice to drive down with her and that way she wouldn’t have to travel alone.  She called back about an hour later to tell, me that it would be great if I went and another friend was also going and that I should meet her at her house in about an hour.

I finished up what I was doing, showered, let Max out, and headed to her house.  We left exactly on time, only to run into traffic about 30 minutes into our drive.  Seems we were with everyone else on the planet trying to get out of Maine and into Massachusetts.  All the weekenders were going home.  The two hour trip ended up taking almost 3.5 hours.  Luckily we left in plenty of time so we weren’t late.  That however, didn’t keep Sheila from worrying that we were going to be late.  By the time we got off the highway she was a nervous wreck.  Once we let her out at the theatre though, she calmed down.

We only stayed for the first half of the show, since it was 2 hours back to Portland, and they had to work tomorrow.  There were five comedians in the first half.  A couple of them were okay, but a little stiff.  Two of them were awful and I only laughed to be polite.  And then there was Sheila.  She was hysterical.  And I don’t just say this because I know her.  She was hands down miles above the rest.  The audience loved her and wouldn’t stop laughing and applauding.  They went wild when she finished her set.  It wasn’t just her jokes either.  Her facial expressions and body movement only helped with the humor.  She was the only comedian who didn’t plant herself on stage with the mic.  She was all over the stage telling her jokes.  I’m so glad I got to see her perform, because when she talks about her work she always makes it sound like she’s just mediocre.  But that’s far from the truth.

On the way home the conversation was great.  Two lesbians and a gay man talking about sex.  I was constantly amused at how little they knew about gay sex.  They didn’t realize that gay men sometimes use “toys” in their play.  They thought it was just lesbians.  They didn’t realize there was such a thing as a bad blow job.  They thought all gay men spend hours taking enemas for a night out.  The list of things they were curious about what extensive.  Just when I thought they’d exhausted their lists, they’d offer up another subject.  I just kept laughing and answering the best I could.  It did make the two hour trip home just fly by.

All in all it was a good day.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Day Thirty-Seven: Oklahoma

I had a bit of a scare this morning. I got up and checked my email and discovered that I had an email from someone who knew exactly where I was and what I was doing and even mentioned the director by name. Uh Oh!!! I quickly scanned my brain to think back to see if I had said anything that might get me fired or even worse not hired back next year. For the life of me I couldn’t remember although I know there have been one or two snippy remarks. So I quickly sent a reply email asking the person to kind of keep the blog to themselves and not tell the director about it. When I returned home there was a reply saying “Discretion totally respected.” Whew. That’s better, although I am still a little nervous about someone with the possibility of telling. I’m going to have to rethink my telling you guys what part of the country I am in.

I’ve had a great day. I woke up early. Well for me. 8:30 a.m. Don’t snicker Chuck. I didn’t get out of bed though. I decided to lie there and just enjoy not having to do anything or go any where. This lasted about 20 minutes at which point I fell back asleep and slept until noon. The part that sucked about going back to sleep was that I dreamed about work for the next three hours. So I was exhausted when the alarm finally went off and I got up.

Unfortunately, it seemed that I had slept as long as everyone else, because the bathroom was packed when I went down to shower. I had to rethink that. I wandered back to my room and got dressed (I took a shower later) and that’s when I discovered the email. I sent out a few responses and then went down to head off to a meeting with the director, conductor, technical director, stage manager, and four board members. They wanted to know what worked and didn’t work about this year. For the most part I kept my mouth closed. There is really very little that can be done about my complaints. They just are. We also discussed the season for next year. There are lots of options out there. There is discussion of doing Into the Woods by Sondheim, which I love…there would be no complaints from me.

After lunch the director drove me back to the dorm where I finally got to shower. After the shower I was playing around on line when I remembered there being talk of a site called X-Tube. It’s basically YouTube with porn. I spent about an hour looking at videos today. Hmmm. There were some very cute boys showing their wares on the sight.

Then it was back to the theatre. The light board is still broken and so we had to go in and make sure the replacement board was up and running okay. It was…so I “went out to make a phone call” and wandered up the street to see if I could see any live action videos. It’s both a blessing and a curse that the adult bookstore is up the street from the theatre. On one hand it’s nice to be able to steal away for a couple of hours…on the the other hand it’s a diversion I don’t always need and I worry about being seen by one of the company members going in or coming out. Obviously, I don’t worry enough to stay away, but I do worry. So I went and wasted a couple of hours and then got back to the theatre in time for the end of Act 2. I’m bored by the show by this time so I was glad I hadn’t had to watch.

And now I’m back home. It was a slow day in the world of blogs. Very, very few people posted today. It only took about 25 minutes to get through the blogs I read because so few people had posted since yesterday. I’m assuming everyone is either taking the rest of the week off, or they are too busy with work to post. Just know you were missed.

And that my friends was my day.

Day Thirty-Four: Oklahoma

It’s of course the wee hours of the morning. If I ever get back to civilization my clock is going to be fucked up for years to come. It’s 4:15 to be exact. I have been looking at fetish gear on this site (VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!) I walked downstairs to shouts of dismay. They couldn’t believe some of the things that were for sale. Cock rings, rim seats, dildos (especially the very large ones). I found their reaction to the items more amusing than the things themselves. One 19 year old couldn’t for the life of him understand why someone would want to suck a dick with a hood on. There were other questions and concerns that I found rather amusing. When I stop to think about it I HAVE been around the block a time or two and have played around with one or two of the items that were for sale (and enjoyed it I might add) so it’s not surprising to me that someone might want a hood, or a sounding wand, or a chair to rim in, or a VERY large dildo. Who am I to question what turns someone on.

Today has been a very social day. I got up early…10:30 to have lunch with the director. He was supposed to pick me up at 12:15. He got here at 1:30. Don’t get me started about people who are late. Anyway, he picked me up and we went to a little Italian restaurant that was rather nice and more importantly cheap. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it here, but the director likes to offer to take me out to lunch/dinner/drinks at expensive places and then make me pay my half. I know this now, so I was fully prepared. Lunch was great and we had the most bizarre waiter ever. He’d met the director once at a party and kept making very strange, weird comments. Nothing out of line, just things to make you roll your eyes as he walked away. It was a good time.

After lunch we drove around and he showed the huge oil mansions that are left from when oil was the big business down here. I’ve never seen so many large homes before. We drove around about 45 minutes. He showed me some other sights, and then we went back to his apartment and sat by the pool and drank wine. It was all fun and games until he got yelled at by the building president for having a glass container in the pool area. I understand the rule, but the guy was an ass in front of a guest. I’d say that pleasant manners supersede the glass rule. I was ready to say something but thought better of it.

After that it was off home to rest. I got here and discovered that I could keep the stage manager’s car so I rounded up some people to go to the movies. I discovered a dollar movie theatre and so we went off to see Hot Fuzz. It’s a hysterical movie. The set up took a long time, so much so I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to get the pay off. But when it happened it was wonderful. My favorite line in the movie….He’s not Judge Judy and executioner. Maybe you had to be there.

After the movie we stopped at Sonic for a burger. What can I say, I hadn’t had dinner and it was open and I was hungry.

Then it was back to the dorm to hang out for a while. We were all sitting around joking a laughing. All the yungin’s make fun of me for being so old. In fact the one person I like the most out of all the crew…his mother is two years older than I am. Hmmm. Makes you stop to wonder doesn’t it. Anyway, we laughed, we joked, we looked at dirty pictures on line, we joked about the fisting bench (we decided we should definitely get the one with the head rest)and now it’s 4:35 and I’m off to bed. Oh the life of a designer…

One fisting bench with a head rest….and what’s not to like?  And it’s only $79.00


Day Twenty-Five: Oklahoma

Why am I still awake at 1:30 in the morning.  I could have been asleep hours ago.  But I chose to go get food with the stage manager and a couple of actors and just got home.  We went to an all night diner where the food was so so, but the pie was delicious.  I had a piece that was pecans and caramel and cream cheese and it was yummy.  But now it’s 1:39 and I have to wait for the sugar high to end so that I can go to sleep.  This may not have been the best decision ever.

So we ran our two shows today.  The first show went okay.  One of my follow-spot operators was at a wedding so a person from the scenery crew was a substitute.  She did okay although the one part of the show that I’m a bit particular about she completely screwed up.  This was no concern  considering how badly the person subbing for her did.  In the theatre the scenic elements that are lowered in from above are called flys.  There are people pulling ropes that bring these to the floor.  Well in the first scene change, the person doing the flys didn’t notice when to stop and slammed the scenery into the floor.  For a moment I was afraid it had broken.  After it stopped shaking and settled down it appeared fine, but everyone was on edge for the next few minutes.  Needless to say the stage manager was a little pissed because no one had told her someone was going to be out today.  It kind of set everyone on edge for the rest of the day.

Show number two went much better tonight than it did last night.  For my part all of the light cues were in the right place and the haze didn’t make the theatre look like it was on fire.  For the most part the actors did okay, although the lead actor completely fucked up the final song of Act 1.  For a moment no one knew what was happening.  The orchestra had finished and he was still singing and the person singing with him was trying to cover and they both finished a good 10 seconds or so behind the orchestra.  By the time they were off stage I didn’t know if they were going to cry or laugh.  I’m starting to wonder if any of the leads can get through the show without fucking something up.

It’s official.  I’m staying here for two more weeks.  I’m not sure exactly why I’m staying, but the director has agreed to pay me enough to make it worth my while.  So instead of flying home on July 1, I’m now going to be flying home on July 17.  I’m hoping it’s not a total bust and that it turns out to be fun.  I have to call tomorrow to change my flight.  I’ll of course keep everyone posted as the fun presents itself.

At the moment I’m trying to decide if I’m going to the matinee tomorrow or if I’m going to sleep until 4:00 p.m.  There’s no need for me to be at the show and it would be nice to sleep in.  And if I go downtown, I’ll be tempted to skip the show and go get in to trouble, which I’ve been trying to avoid.  What to do.  What to do.  I guess I’ll sleep on it.

Hope every one’s having a nice weekend.

Day Sixteen: Oklahoma

It’s been an interesting day here in Oklahoma.  First, I sort of got to sleep in.  My crew went in at 8 a.m. but since they were doing things that I didn’t need to supervise,  I slept until 10:30.  Of course I was supposed to meet my ride at 10:30 so I took another one of those very, very quick showers.  I think I brushed my teeth longer than I showered and was downstairs by 10:37 and out the door.  David wasn’t there again this morning at Quick Trip so I was a little disappointed.  I really like starting the day by seeing cute boys.

I got to the theatre to find that none of the notes that I gave from yesterday were finished.  It seemed to me when I got there they had just started.  As it turns out they had just gotten there.  The Budget rental truck wouldn’t start again this morning so it caused everyone to be behind schedule.  Of course my ME didn’t need to wait with the truck.  He could have gone on to the theatre but that’s beside the point.  Needless to say, we weren’t ready to turn lights on when we were supposed to be.  So we took the afternoon off.

So I went and had a little fun.  Seems there is certain  establishment two blocks from the theatre where a person of the gay persuasion can go to have fun.  So I trekked my big butt over there and paid my eight dollars and went into the theatre.  It was an interesting set up.  There are five theatres you can choose from and each one has three or four movies playing in it.  There are little rooms with 9 or 10 theatre chairs set up.  Of course the rooms are dark and all sorts of unspeakable things go on in them.  I went in theatre three in case anyone’s interested.  There weren’t many people there, but after a while a guy who looked to be in college came and in and we had some fun.  I stuck around a little while after that and then had to get back to the theatre for rehearsal.  I went back later tonight since we were off again, but absolutely nothing was going on.  It was a wonderful little break from the stress I’ve been dealing with.  I think I deserved it.

I then headed back to the theatre where the orchestra and actors were finishing up a sitzprobe.  For all those non-theatre/opera people out there.  A sitzprobe is when the cast gets to perform with the orchestra for the first time.  I should probable say sing instead of perform  because they aren’t really acting.  It’s just the first time all the musical elements come together.  It was great hearing the orchestra tonight.   For the most part they sound really good.  We’ll know more next week when we add costumes and lights.

Tomorrow we start cuing the next show.  I have asked to be given as much time as possible since I didn’t get any on the first show.  We’ll see how it plays out.  Tune it tomorrow.  Same bat time.  Same bat channel.