This is a post I wrote on 9.4.12. I never published it. I don’t know why. So here you go. At my current job EVERYONE knows that I won’t tolerate such language. PERIOD. Don’t push me. Don’t fuck with me.
It’s 4:51 as I start this. I have to start getting to bed earlier. I’d wait till tomorrow but I want to say something tonight.
Work was a million times better tonight. It was one of those nights where I could have waited tables for a million years. People were tipping. I was having fun. It was great.
We got the let’s watch our offensive language speech again tonight. They were as vague as they were the night before.
So the shift starts and people start joking. And within a millisecond I realized that NO ONE had understood the point. They thought they were being told about sex talk. Cursing in front of guests. Making inappropriate jokes. Etc.
I was annoyed. Clearly my point had NOT been made. I asked my co-worker Bonnie what she thought of the speech. She knew about my conversation with Daniel. She said she’d only known what they were getting at because I’d told her. I was REALLY annoyed.
So as the AGM was leaving tonight I asked to speak to him. I asked him if the talks we were getting before work were related to the talk I’d had with Daniel. He told me they were. I explained to him that they needed to be more specific. It was about playing around and joking. It was the use of one word in any kind of situation that was the problem. There was no way people were going to understand this if it wasn’t spelled out for them. He told he they’d been kind of vague to somewhat protect my identity. I told him I didn’t care. Say that I said it. Let me come and do the explaining. They just had to be more explicit. They had to let people know that the use of the word faggot or maricon would not be tolerated anymore than the word nigger.
In the last two days there has been a lot of drama about the school board member who wrote appalling things on his Facebook page. The story was picked up by CNN and Anderson Cooper did a story about it on AC360. What I find interesting was that he didn’t have any problem repeating the word fag in reference to what had been said. He read it as a direct quote. But then said would it be the same if the “n” word had been used. It somewhat offends me that it’s okay to repeat the word fag but the word nigger is so much more offensive that it can’t even be uttered even as an example . Is it a double standard? Is it the same? You tell me.
So I go back to work and it was only about three minutes later people are bitching about not being able to joke around anymore.
And finally I said.
“The conversation had nothing to do with sex jokes. Innuendos. The joking around that we do. It was about the use of the word fag. And how it’s become okay for people to toss it around whenever they want with no regard to it’s meaning or implication. I find the word offensive. I don’t think it should be used ever. Especially at work. Especially around me.”
That sort of ended the conversation.
Except for Steven. Who needed to discuss it. How do I describe Steven. He’s from Long Island. He is the stereotypical (Jersey Shore looking) long island “dude” His Facebook screen name was Powa Haus when he started work with me. He’s a tool through and through. We don’t agree on much. He’s a conservative teabagger. Needless to say we don’t see eye to eye.
So he wants to discuss.
So we discuss.
And it’s mostly him spouting off stupid shit and trying to make it seem like it’s not so bad.
And I say.
“You know. In the last two months there have been seven kids kill themselves because of gay bullying. It’s my belief that if you are throwing the word around here, then you are throwing the word around elsewhere. And that it’s not inconceivable that it’s been thrown around in front of kids. Teaching them hate. Teaching them ignorance. Teaching them intolerance. And even worse. Teaching potentially gay kids that they are less than.”
He stops me. And says.
“You can’t tell me kids are killing themselves because of bullying. Everyone gets bullied. I was bullied because I was fat. Did I kill myself. Fuck no. It just made me want to lose weight.”
The rest of the conversation really went no where. He wouldn’t listen to any of my points.
And my point.
Yes. All kids get bullied. They are too tall. Too short. Too skinny. Too fat. Too rich. Too poor. Yes. It’s true. I’m sorry that you got teased as a child. But you have no idea what it’s like to grow up gay. No idea.