Ceiling fans!

So this time last week my ass was on it’s way to sleep in The Red Roof Inn in Lexington, Kentucky.  Tonight, I’m glad to be home.

So last Thursday I get to my mom’s house.  It’s about 4:30.  We have 90 minutes to waste until we have to leave for dinner.

I had a video I was going to insert here but it seems that WordPress charges 90 bucks to insert your own video.

So I’ll have to paint the picture for you.

My mom lives in a 1970’s VERY small ranch house.  Three bedrooms.  Two baths.  One of the baths was an addition years later.  It came that way when my parents bought it 15 years ago.  I don’t think the house has had any work done on it since the 1980’s.  It’s in desperate need for attention.  The bathroom ceiling is collapsing.  There is mold.  It’s not in great shape.

All of this is beside the point.

The real issue I wanted to bring to light here (pun intended) is the ceiling fan/light fixture in the kitchen.

For years it was a pink ceiling fan.  With a bare compact fluorescent bulb.

As soon as I sit down in the kitchen I realize the ceiling fan is different.

It’s now a white ceiling fan.  With a bare bulb.


It squeaks.

Like nobody’s business.

Continuously.  Non. Stop. All.  Day.  Every.  Day.

Oh.  My.  God.

I wanted to rip it from the ceiling.

Now it’s note worthy to tell you about this because it’s annoying.

It’s even more note worthy to tell you about this because in 2009, Adam and I gave my  mom a brand fucking new Hunter ceiling fan/light fixture.


When I presented this to my mom it made her mad.


I have no fucking idea.  Probably the same reason my mom won’t let my aunt vacuum the spider webs from the ceiling.

So my mom got a new ceiling fan.  And the brand new fucking ceiling fan is still sitting in the living room in the corner, exactly where I left it five years ago.



The box is still sealed.

And yet.

She sits in her kitchen.  Every single fucking day.  Under a fan that squeaks and its  bare bulb.







Screen shot 2014-10-10 at 11.40.37 PM


PS.  The cutting board on the left I made in 7th grade.

PSS.  I still don’t understand why they painted the kitchen pink right after they bought the house!




2 thoughts on “Ceiling fans!

  1. javabear October 11, 2014 / 09:18

    Wow. Pink. Will she not turn the fan off?

  2. Urspo October 12, 2014 / 00:32

    Ah, family. If it were not for families I would be out of a job.

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