It’s December 25.
We’ve just watched spoiled children open gifts that they didn’t appreciate. We’ve had bad coffee with bad flavored creamer. We’ve been up since the butt crack of dawn to drive to the festivities…and now it’s 11:45 a.m. It’s time to drive two blocks to Adam’s Aunt Kim’s house. It is convenient that his stepmother’s daughter and his aunt Kim not only live in the same little town in the middle of nowhere but that they live in the same neighborhood.
It’s 11:45 a.m. It’s December 25th. Let’s take a look back.
Before we’ve even put the car in gear Adam’s mother is on her way out the door to greet us. She is a lovely lady. KRAZY. With a capital “K”. But lovely. She think’s I’m the bees knees and I lay it on thick when I’m with her. I immediately give her a huge hug and ask her how she is. I comment that she’s getting around much better than last Christmas when she’d just had hip replacement surgery. I tell her she looks great. I help her into the house. When we eat, I carry her plate to the table and I make sure that she sits by me. I like her. I think it annoys Adam that I like her.
He has a love hate relationship with his mom. Actually it’s not true. He loves his mom. But she is a lot to take in large doses so he keeps the doses small and inconsistent. Nancy (it’s easier to type than Adam’s mom) is constantly telling Adam to call her every time I call my mom. He should never have told her that I talk to her almost every day.
So we go inside.
Aunt Kim’s house is awesome. It’s about as 1978 as you can get. The ceilings are cathedral. One whole end of the living room is a huge brick wall with built in storage for wood. The dining room has paneling. And the kitchen is all brick with built in appliances that are original to the house. I LOVE IT. Adam thinks I’m crazy.
We both get hugs from Aunt Kim.
I also get a hug from a lady that I don’t remember. I didn’t figure out who she was until right before we left. She is the VERY young wife of a friend of the family. When I say young. I mean. She’s my age. He’s close to 70. She’s very pretty. He’s very NOT pretty. You’d think it’s for money but the honestly seem to love each other. As they say there’s no accounting for taste.
At this point I’m re-introduced to Nicole, Adam’s cousin and her boyfriend. I don’t remember his name. Which isn’t surprising because he was NOT the boyfriend that was there last year. What we learn about them during the course of the day is: He wants to be a lawer. He’s going to law school in Houston if he gets accepted. Nicole wants to move there with him. Aunt Kim says fine as long as Nicole leaves the baby behind. Did I mention that Nicole has a baby. The father is mexican. They are no longer together. The new boyfriend is asian. Isn’t it wonderful that he plays the piano so well. It’s not surprising that he wants to go to law school and plays the piano, he’s asian. I should probably point out that Nicole is much younger than Adam. If I had to guess I’d say she’s in her very early 20’s. I just looked her up. She’s 23.
Not long after we get there, Adam’s cousin Nick comes in.
Here’s what I learned about Nick: Nick is older than Nicole. Probably by two or three years. He has two kids. With two different mothers. He had one. They got married. They broke up. He got his girlfriend pregnant. They REALLY broke up. That break up involved a paternity test to prove it was his. When we got there baby #2 was there. Later she left and was replaced by baby #1. They both have weird names. Eventually baby #1 left and she was replaced with girlfriend #3. She wore 3″ heels and swept in like she owned the place. She’s a realtor. And works in the hospital. And something else that I don’t remember. They are in love. She has two kids of her own. When we left Adam told his mom that he wasn’t going to bother learning her name because she’d be replaced by a new model by then. I suggested that we leave condoms in the bathroom as a gift to the family.
Neither Nick nor Nicole really talk to me. They are nice. But I don’t think they approve. Adam’s uncle is the same. He’s nice. But there’s no effort on any of our parts to be anything more.
His Aunt Kim on the other hand is AMAZING. And that’s with all caps. She’s loving, and accepting, and doesn’t have a judgmental bone in her body. She accepts me as much as she accepts the new boyfriends/girlfriends of her children. I told Adam that she has clearly become the matriarch of the family. She really is the glue that holds it all together. She has a full time job at the restaurant they own, she has two children with three grand children. Four BIG dogs. One’s a great dane. A huge house. And she managed to throw together an amazing meal for all 40 of us. His Aunt Kim is only two years older than me. With three grandkids. I can’t imagine.
The rest of the crew was VERY interesting. There was the son of the young wife. Adam’s cousin Lisa. She’s a trip. And weird. And over the top. And just plane kooky. All in a very wonderful way. She is a bit to take in though. She brought a long her mom who works as a lab tech in a mortuary doing autopsies. There’s Adam’s stepfather Mark who is quite nice. Adam does not like him at allllll. He is a little weird. There were others but I won’t go into them.
In a short four hours Adam had had his fill and it was time to go. We said our good byes and made our way to the car. His mom started to cry of course. (She likes to cry.) We all hugged and in no time we were on our way out of town. BUT first we stopped at Sonic for a Route 44 Diet Coke. It was happy hour after all.