It’s going on 5:30. So I’m going to make this fast.
First. It tokk 20 minutes to find a Diet Coke in Texas because it was Christmas Even and by the time we started home everything and I do mean EVERYTHING was closed. Although I’m sure the Jesus is Love Truckstop was open because Jesus never closes up shop. And Lemuel you are probably right. I’m sure there are truckers on the knees there even as we speak.
I got sidetracked.
A funny thing happened at work tonight.
I wasn’t in cocktails and therefore had to wait to be seated like normal people, which sucks because I end up standing around waiting for something to do. I was the “head waiter” so I had a good section. Two four tops and two six tops. Which is awesome if there are big parties coming in. Unfortunately tonight there were not.
So both of my six tops sat empty for a while tonight.
So I look up at one point and there are six people sitting at my table. It’s currently set up as an eight top because the last group to sit there was eight. I walk up to greet the table and I realize there are no menus on the table.
You’d think people would be smart enough to realize that all those people waiting in the lobby aren’t there because they were cold. They are waiting for a table. This isn’t just foreigners. It’s Americans too. “Can we just sit anywhere.” NO YOU CAN’T JUST SIT FUCKING ANYWHERE. EVEN DENNY’S HAS A HOST.
At this point however, my six top has been empty for a while so I say fuck it. I go to the host to make sure the table is not being held for someone else. It’s not so I take menus back to the table.
There is a definite lack of understanding of English. I’m having a hard time getting through to them. This is all made worse because the father keeps snapping his fingers at me.
As I’m standing there I realize that the table is still set for eight and there are four people at one end of the table. Two people at the other end of the table. With two chairs between.
As I’m standing there I realize that they don’t know each other. Not only are they self seaters. They are two parties of self seaters. I even go as far as to ask the two people if they are all together and they say in better English, “yes but it is two checks.” I take their orders. I get their food. They finish eating. I drop the check. And sure enough the two top pays and leaves and I’m left with just the foursome who take FOREVER to figure out the bill.
I didn’t really care because if there are six people sitting at my table then the gratuity is included.
I hope this makes sense. I’m hitting publish and going to bed.