December 24, 2010

It’s December 24th.

We are in Texas.

I’m determined to see this tale all the way through.  Something I’ve never done before.

We get up early.  We drive to Amarillo.  We go shopping.  We buy Adam’s Aunt Sue another book.  To Kill a Mockingbird which she has never read.  We then stop a couple of other places.

We are on our way to Aunt Sue’s.

We drive through a drive through restaurant first.

Then we fight.

Adam is not having a good driving day.  I forget why, but he’s getting grumpier and grumpier.  Which is making me grumpier and grumpier.

Finally we get to Aunt Sue’s.

We eat mexican food.  At least we do when Emily finally comes back with the sour cream.  Don’t ask.

Then we open presents.

This is actually the point of this post.

There is nothing worse than sitting in a room with people (for me that I barely know) and watching them open presents.  I don’t mind that I didn’t get a present from them.  But I really don’t want to sit there and pretend to care while other people open up their presents.  There is one thing fun about it.  Because you are not preoccupied with what you are getting you can actually watch the expressions of the people opening presents.  It’s fun to see who is good at hiding their “joy” and who is not.

So we sit at Aunt Sue’s for at least 90 minutes after lunch and watch his cousins open gifts.

Then we go to the mall.

In Amarillo.

Where we hold hands as we walk around.

I’m amazed that not only has no one ever accosted us, to my knowledge no one has ever said anything.

What we are actually doing at the mall is returning the shirts that we received yesterday from his step mom.

We trade them in for a Christopher Radko Christmas ornament.  And some new water glasses.  And something else that I don’t remember.

There is another Radko ornament that I like but it’s not marked down yet and it seems stupid to spend the money on it.  It will be 50% off the day after Xmas.  Perhaps we can find it in Kentucky.  Emily says that she’ll try to come back and get it for us.

And then we decide to go have drinks with Adam’s cousins Emily and Laura.  We tried a couple of places before we found one that was open.  We ended up at Outback.

It was there idea.  Not ours.

We got drinks.  And a blooming onion.  And cheese fries.  And a salad.



First.  I felt bad that for the most part we were just drinking.  That there was only three of us for the first half hour we were there.  That it’s Christmas Eve and they are all having to work.


At some point our waitress asks us where we are from.  And we tell her NYC.  (As a rule if you want to be left alone you tell them someplace close to where you are at that moment.)  And somehow in the course of the conversation it comes up that I’m a waiter too.  I don’t know how we got there, the only reason I said it was so she’d know that we were going to tip her.  Unfortunately that led to endless questions about NYC.  My restaurant.  My tips.  My flair.  (It’s an Office Space reference).  And she wouldn’t go away.  And then she finally does.  And THEN she comes back with a hand full of flair that she’s been given from Outback and she wants me to pick one to have.  And then I start looking at them and she begins to explain each one of them.  In the mean time Adam is kicking me under the table to tell me to stop talking to her so she’ll go away.  After what seems like hours she finally leaves.

And we finish up.  And pay the check.  I left here 20 dollars on our 60 dollar tab.  It’s fucking Xmas Eve.  (A girl at my restaurant got a 100 dollar tip on Xmas Eve.)

And we get in our car and head home, after spending 20 minutes looking for a Diet Coke for the 90 minute trip home.  I wanted to stop at the Jesus Is Lord Truck Stop but Adam wouldn’t let me.  (Although I have it on good authority that he stopped there for gas this summer.)

I hope you guys realize I’ve been writing since I got back and I’m only on day three of my two week trip.


3 thoughts on “December 24, 2010

  1. Lemuel January 14, 2011 / 06:51

    I can imagine that there are quite a few visitors to the Jesus Is Lord Truck Stop who spend a great deal of time on their knees.

  2. Sarah January 14, 2011 / 09:14

    I would have gone to that truck stop with you.

  3. javabear January 14, 2011 / 23:26


    What’s wrong with Texas that it takes 20 minutes to find a Diet Coke?

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