BRRRRR! And boyfriends that aren’t happy.

It’s still cold as fuck in here.  I did get permission from Adam to turn on the radiator in my “office” but I don’t think he’ll be happy if I do.  He was nice enough to give me an extra blanket to use on my side of the bed last night.  But the real surprise, he left a note telling me to turn on the a/c when I come to bed because he got hot last night.  I told him to just throw a sheet over me till the spring thaw if he finds me frozen to death in the apartment.



Adam gets a little controlling when he’s working on a project.  Be that a project from work.  A cake.

Or a party.

This weekend he was VERY controlling.

At one point I was ready to put on my coat and go to the movies for ten hours till after the party.

It all started on Thursday when Adam announces to me that I’m not carrying my weight.  He says this as if he’s surprised by it.  He also says it as though I’ve been told a million times what to do and I just don’t do it.

He left dishes in the sink this past week that needed to be done.  I didn’t do them.  I didn’t make the bed.  And all of this conspired to ruin our weekend because I wasn’t stepping up to the plate to get ready for the party.

He was actually right on this account.

But in my own defense:  He likes the planning stages.  He likes the prepping stages.  I’m not so sure he actually likes the pressure of getting it done.  I thrive on the pressure.  I’m the person who could stay up all night and do it all at the last minute.  I’m the one who can pull it out of my ass at the last minute.  That makes him crazy.

So he spoke to me sternly and I tried to do a better job.  I did this by walking around on tip toes as to not upset him again.

Then I gave up my shift on Friday, which sent him off again.  Yes we need the money.  Yes I’m about to be off for ten days to go to Texas.  Yes, yes, yes.  But as I told him, he lectured me because I wasn’t helping more with the party and now he was yelling at me because I wanted to help with the party.  I told him him that I didn’t want to just be a guest at my party but to be an active participant.  I don’t think that appeased him but he let it go.

Now for the shit losing.

We drank too much on Saturday night.  Actually we didn’t drink all that much.  Michelle and Lisa were in town and we drank on an empty stomach.  It went to our heads and we both woke up feeling a little woozy.  I finally get him out of bed which is a first because I’m the one that usually has to be pushed out of bed.

Michelle and Lisa leave for breakfast.  I ask Adam what I should do first.  It sort of went down hill from there.

I needed to be more motivated.  I needed to not ask so many questions.  I needed to not distract him because when I distract him he has to stop doing what he’s doing and it makes him lose focus.  And on and on and on.

It was starting to get to me and THEN…

We live in New York.  We have a pre-war apartment.  It was built in the late 30’s and as most apartment buildings in NYC that have been around that long, they have their issues.  And one of our issues is that water t backs up into our tub.  And it backs out on to the floor from the vertical drain stop we have sticking out of our bathroom floor.  It’s late.  I’ll take a picture later and show you what I’m talking about.  Anyway.  The water backs up into the tub.  It backs up onto the floor.  And it’s all soapy water.  (Adam thinks the problem is actually an illegal washing machine upstairs).

This happens around 10:00 a.m. on the day of our party.  And he slams his hand into the wall and starts shouting.  And I decided then that I was done.  It’s just a party and if it means breaking up or being made to feel bad then I don’t want to do it.  So I just sort of turned off the whole thing and went and sat on the sofa ignoring him.  It didn’t take long for him to realize that he’d pissed me off which only made things worse.  He kept cussing under his breath and I just sat on the sofa.

Then Michelle and Lisa return and I put my shoes on to go the store and suddenly with their return he’s all smiles again.  Which pissed me off even more.  I left for the store pissed as can be.

By the time I got home I was drenched and I was pretty much over being mad.  I don’t tend to hang on to things very long anymore.  And it really was silly that I was getting upset with him after the amount of time and energy that he’d put into the party.  And it’s not really surprising that he was losing his shit a little.  It was a lot of pressure to plan the menu and then create the items for a party.

By the time the guests started to arrive everything was done and we were all smiles.

(This is my take on the events.  This is also my blog so I’ve taken the liberty to embellish as needed, to condense as needed and to change the facts so as to make me look as good as possible in the eyes of my readers.  At no time should any of you think that any of this was my fault.  I say all of this because I’m afraid Adam will read this tomorrow morning and will promptly wake me up and tell me to get out.)

It was an awesome party.  And it was 100% his doing.  He’s an amazing boyfriend that I love dearly.

(I say all of this so I won’t be typing in the cold tomorrow night on the stoop in front of the building.  Of course it might be warmer there so maybe I should reconsider.)


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