You’re going to feel a little pinch.”

Tonight was pretty much a waste of time.

I couldn’t get one person to leave me money at the end of their meal.  My favorite of the night was the guy who spent at least a minute telling me how wonderful I was.  I was the best server they’d had in the week they’d been in New York.  Asked me if I’d prefer the tip in cash or on the card.  Gave it to me in cash.  Wait for it.  Wait for it.  It was seven dollars.  On his 117.00 check.  Go ahead wait for it.  I’m still waiting for it.  Tonight sucked donkey dicks.

The best part of the evening was not getting any tables from 11:00 on.  My last table of the night was a table of two three four three four three two.  There was never the same number of people at the table ever.  They sat themselves at 8:45.  They paid their bill at 12:15.  They left me ten on 95.  Fuck them too.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.  I don’t even know what I’m getting done.  I just have to be there at 3:00.  A year ago last September I pulled a filling out eating a tootsie roll.  I didn’t realize it at the time but it also brought part of the tooth with it.  The filling was at least 25 years old so it’s not surprising that it happened.  I was in KY when this happened.  I cut my trip short, came home and went to my dentist.  He did a temporary filling and then told me I’d need to have a root canal, before they replaced the crown.

So I went back a few weeks later for the root canal.  And spent an hour in the chair while the dentist poked and prodded me with his needles.  Doing whatever one does when you are performing a root canal.

All done.  Come back in a couple of weeks and we’ll fix the tooth.

I go back.  And he starts the process.  Always with the same little sentence.  “This is going to pinch a little.”  He gives me the shot.  He comes in and gives me another shot.  And then he comes in and starts the procedure.  Except that I can still feel what he’s doing.  He gets  really angry and leaves.  When he comes back he says that the root canal clearly did not work.  He apologizes profusely.  And then says, “The tooth will have to come out.”

FUCK!

But he can’t do it.   It’s going to have to be cut out.  I have to go to an oral surgeon.

DOUBLE FUCK!

By now it’s December.

I make my oral surgeon appointment.  He can see me in January.

Fuck.

I go to my oral surgeon appointment.  I’m lead back and the doctor comes in and says to me:  Do you want to be put out.  Or do you want to just be numbed.  I suggest that we put you out.  The process is easier on you and you’ll start to heal faster with less chance for infection.  But it will cost more.  AND.  The insurance won’t pay for it.  AND.  Your insurance isn’t going to pay for the entire visit any way.  It’s going to cost I think somewhere around 500 dollars, without the gas.  AND.  You have to pay half before we even start the procedure.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

I call Adam and ask him what I should do.  He’s at work.  Can’t talk and so I have to make a decision on my own.

First.  How do I pay 250 dollars for an appointment I thought the insurance was going to pay.  I give them my debit card knowing that it will be creative financing to keep the rent check from bouncing.

Second.  I decide to just get numbed.  I have a high tolerance for pain and fuck it.  It’s going to suck either way.

So they take a saw and cut the tooth into thirds.  And then cut out each section.  It was over in two seconds.

In the end I’m glad that I went with the normal process.  It didn’t hurt any more than the root canal and I saved a shit ton of money.

They sewed me up.  Gave me instructions for keeping it infection free.  Gave me some Vicoden.  And I was on my way.

I was supposed to go back in ten days.

What they failed to tell me was that the suturing would start to smell after a few days.  And that my breath would smell worse than SHIT.  When I finally went back to my appointment I was starting to get scared that something was wrong.  He assured me it was normal.  It’s just food getting caught in the sutures.  YUCK.  I’m sure my guests at work were loving me over those ten days.

The tooth is gone.  The stitches are gone.  I’m supposed to go back to my real dentist in three months to start the process of replacing the tooth.

I go back in three months.   I’m not ready.  I have to go back in three months.  I’m gone the month of July.  I go back in August.  I’m still not  ready.  I went back about six weeks ago and they started the process of replacing the tooth.  For the last six weeks or so I’ve had a screw sticking out of my gum.  Something about the bone, and the gum etc. etc.

I have no idea what tomorrow brings.  I do know that it’s time for another cleaning.  It’s been 15 months and my tooth is still not fixed.

I do have to admit after this LONG story.  I don’t mind the dentist.  You don’t have to describe arbitrary pain and hope they can fix what’s wrong.  I say something hurts.  They X-ray it.  They see the cause.  The numb you.  They drill.  It’s done.  I can actually fall asleep in the chair if the music is just right.

Let’s hope tomorrow is like that.

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3 thoughts on “You’re going to feel a little pinch.”

  1. Lemuel November 4, 2010 / 07:22

    To the contrary I hate dentists. Even the nice one I have had now for years.

  2. Lemuel November 4, 2010 / 07:23

    oh, but good luck. I hope all goes/went well.

  3. Catrina November 4, 2010 / 14:00

    I don’t hate dentists…I have a major unhealthy fear of them! My dentist, who I see regularly because he caters to cowards, gives me one Xanax when I leave his office. Half is to be taken an hour before my next appointment, and the other half is to be taken when the appointment’s over (and I get my next Xanax). It works out quite well for all of us!

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