It used to be so easy to think of things to write. I’d sit down at the computer and 30 minutes later I’d hit publish and it was done. Now I sit down at the computer and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And nothing. That’s what’s happening tonight. I’ve put off blogging for the past hour because I really didn’t have anything to say.
1. In about three weeks I’ll have been waiting tables for three years. It’s the longest I’ve ever worked at the same establishment. Usually I quit or more likely get fired before two years is up.
2. In four weeks I’ll have lived with Adam for one year. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year.
3. Last year when I moved I had lived with Chuck for three years. It was the longest I’d ever lived in one apartment. I’d also never had one roommate for three years before. I hadn’t ever lived with anyone for three years before.
4. My best friend Michelle’s birthday was on Monday. I forgot to call her. I always forget to call her. I can remember everyone else’s birthday but hers. I only remembered today because it’s the anniversary of Lady Di’s death.
5. I often stay up later than I should because if I go to bed then when I wake up it’s time to go back to work.
6. I hate my job. But I make far too much money to quit.
7. In three years I’ve called in sick 18 times.
8. Adam’s called in sick three times in five years.
9. I’ve given up 67 shifts in three years. On average I only work four days a week. I’ve given up almost 17 weeks of work.
10. It’s taken me 30 minutes to add all of that up.
11. Adam and I have decided that we want Michelle to officiate at our wedding.
12. I haven’t asked Adam to marry me yet. I’m not sure he’ll say yes. I won’t ask until I know for sure.
13. I go back to Iowa at the end of the month.
14. They called today because I haven’t returned my contract. I never return my contracts to them. Usually I do it the day before I leave to come back home and they have to rush to process it so that I can get paid.
15. I drink too much Diet Coke.
16. I don’t drink enough water. I don’t drink water.
17. I stop at McDonald’s every night for a Diet Coke before I get on the subway.
18. I’m currently reading Lonesome Dove. I had to stop reading tonight because Sean died. It almost made me cry.
19. I’m not very good about managing money. I’d probably be better at it if I worked when I was scheduled to work.
20. I have about 25 pairs of shoes.
21. I only wear three pairs of them.
22. My grandfather was stabbed by his girlfriend.
23. I bought a scanner to use to start scanning old photographs. It’s still in the box.
24. Adam says I have the gayest Ipod ever. It’s about 90% show tunes.
25. Defying Gravity was the song that played last before I got off the train to go to work.
26. It’s been at least six months since I did NOT have an anxiety attack on my way to work.
27. I have medicine to help with the attacks but I don’t like to take it. I could probably sell it to my co-workers.
28. I’m probably to political on Facebook. I’d love to know how many of my “friends” have blocked me.
29. I wish I cared.
30. Ten years ago I wasn’t political at all. Now I do my best to stay on top of things.
31. I’m pretty liberal on most things. Especially gay marriage. It would be nice to actually be able to marry Adam, should I ever ask, and should he ever say yes.
32. I was in a fraternity. Phi Kappa Tau. Most of my friends are amazed when I tell them this. I’ve been known to share the secret hand shake with people who are not members.
33. I don’t speak to any of my fraternity brothers anymore. In fact I’m only friends with three of them on Facebook.
34. I owe a shit ton of student loans. I’ll probably never be able to repay them in full. I don’t regret any of my graduate studies. My undergraduate degree was a waste of time and money.
35. Adam is one of two boyfriends that I haven’t cheated on. The other was David. I’d like to push him under a bus.
36. I was a really BAD boyfriend for a long time. I was prone to fits of anger. Jealousy. Stupidity. I’m pretty calm now. Ask Adam.
37. Of course I’ll go to Texas for Christmas. And I’ll go to Philly Thanksgiving weekend. I just won’t like it.
38. We are now decorating our apartment the week before Thanksgiving.
39. We are having our second annual Christmas party on December 12. You are welcome to come if you are in the city.
40. Adam would probably freak if I told him a stranger who reads my blog is coming to our Christmas party.
41. The party is being called “A Christmas Jamboree.” Who doesn’t love a “Jamboree?”
42. We have done a mock up of our Christmas card. They will be homemade. Same as last year. They cost twice as much, take 12 times longer and I’m not sure anyone appreciates the work. But we like it.
43. I hate it when people don’t say thank you. I’d rather have you say thank you then to have you buy me a blu-ray DVD player as a token of thanks. (We hosted a party for friends of Adam’s. They never once said thank you but they bought a DVD player. I’m serious. I’d rather have you say thank you.)
44. The last CD I bought was “The Best Little Whorehouse Goes Public.” Adam is right. I do have the gayest Ipod ever.
45. On Thursday night we are driving to Detroit for a gay pretend wedding. It would probably be the real thing is so many people weren’t freaked out by the idea of two people who love each other sharing their lives together.
46. I’m doing the lighting for the ceremony. I don’t know what that entails but I said that I’d do it.
47. I’d say that I didn’t mind as long as there was beer involved. But Adam thinks I have a drinking problem.
48. It’s ten years this month that I started seeing the psychiatrist that I still see now. He changed my life.
49. It’s his fault that I’m such a good boyfriend.
50. I don’t have a drinking problem. Even though they say a good sign is denial. I promise you I don’t. I haven’t had a drink in at least 30 minutes. I kid. I kid.
51. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a post like this.
52. I have 631 friends on Facebook. Four of them are blog friends. Most of them I’d never be friends with in real life.
53. I want to live in a house with a backyard. And a deck. And a grill. Where Adam can cook steaks. And I can drink margaritas. I know. I know.
54. I have about ten journals that are blank. I will probably never journal again after my roommate Jay read through several of my journals.
55. I have every report card I ever got while I was in school.
56. I have called in sick a lot at work. I have about 8 out of 12 years of perfect attendance in school. I have the silver dollars they gave me at home in my school scrap book.
57. I played baseball and basketball. I spent the entire game praying the ball wouldn’t be thrown to me.
58. I started out as an actor. The first play I was in was Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery.” I forgot two of my lines. Whoops.
59. My next role as as Rose’s father in Gypsy. “You ain’t gettin’ 88 bucks from me Rose.” “Then I’ll get it from someplace else, and get MY kids out….music begins….”Goodbye to blueberry pie, good riddance….” Yeap. I’m gay.
60. My last role was in Godspell in 1987. That was a long time ago.
61. I work with people that are in their 20’s. I’m the same age of some of their parents.
62. I want to do 100 of these.
63. My first boyfriend’s name was Matt. I broke up with him because my friend David didn’t like him. I didn’t realize till much later that David didn’t like him because he wanted to be my boyfriend instead.
64. David stopped speaking to me after I explained that I didn’t want to be his boyfriend.
65. What is it with me and boys named David.
66. My shoe size is 12.
67. It used to be a 10.5. My foot has gotten that much bigger in the last ten years.
68. I wonder if I should be worried about the candle in the upstairs neighbor’s apartment. They’ve been in bed for hours.
69. I have about 15 hats. I only wear three of them. One is a work hat.
70. I just got my hair cut. Adam says it’s his favorite haircut yet. I think I look like a young Republican.
71. My alarm will be set for noon tomorrow. I’ll get out of bed around 2:00.
72. I can snooze my alarm for hours without getting out of bed…or waking up for that matter.
73. I was once in an SM relationship. The very idea of that makes me laugh now.
74. I had personalized tags on my car in San Diego. One of the plates hangs on the back of the bathroom door in my bedroom the guest bedroom.
75. Adam had to teach me to do dishes to his “standard.” He still checks them before he puts them away to make sure he approves.
76. We have a cleaning lady. Jancy. She comes every other week. On Thursdays. It’s the best 100 dollars I’ve ever spent. I only have to clean the bathroom on special occasions now.
77. I’ve lived here for a year but I’ve only cleaned the litter box twice. I was able to pretend that I didn’t know how for the first 11 months.
78. Harper the cat snores.
79. Harper the cat is also very vocal. She meows all day, every day.
80. Harper the cat freaks out if I move her rug in the foyer that she uses to scratch. I move it when we have guest coming over because it’s stained from the leak we had and it’s ugly. I’ve learned to do it just before people get here and to put it out as soon as they are gone. You don’t want a freaked out Harper on your hands.
81. Adam and I discovered a big cat named Birdie at the Petco in Union Square. Adam wanted to adopt him. BAD. He went as far as to name him. William Thomas. We decided not to because we were afraid Harper the cat would freak out.
82. Harper the cat is 15.5.
83. Harper the cat is named after the character Harper in Angels in America.
84. Adam and I are seeing both parts of Angels in America on September 19. It’s being produced by Signature Theater. It’s the most expensive theater event that I’ve ever attended. It cost me an arm and a leg, but after spending two hours hitting redial on my phone trying to get through to the box office, it seems kind of stupid not to just go ahead and buy them.
85. The last Broadway show I saw was Next to Normal. It’s an uplifting little piece about bi-polar disorder.
86. If you’ve ever dealt with the depression it’s quite clear that the lyricist knows what he’s talking about.
87. A friend of mine works on the show. She got me tickets. I got to go backstage after the show. I met Marin Mazzie. I then listened to a group of people she clearly didn’t know talk about the show. I wonder if she found them as stupid as I did?
88. All of the art work that I own was created by people I know.
89. Adam has three pieces of original art by famous artists. We are afraid to put two of them out.
90. There are five remote controls in our house that will turn on 85% of the lights in our apartment. I’d have more if I could.
91. I have an additional three remote controls that we use for the Christmas tree.
92. We bought a new TV. It’s a flat screen high definition. I didn’t think I’d really be able to tell the difference. I was wrong. I wanted the 72 incher. Adam told me he’d divorce me first. We have a 26 incher. (I didn’t actually want the bigger TV I just like to tease him.)
93. The super came to fix the toilet in our guest bathroom. It’s actually worse now than it was.
94. On a completely different note, did you guys know that the tap water in NYC is NOT kosher?
95. I have six teddy bears in “my room.” Adam made me get rid of about six others.
96. I lied to my manager at work to get approval to go home with Adam for Christmas. I’m probably the first person to actually bring up the holiday schedule.
97. Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks.
98. Harper the cat just came in to say good morning. She’s being very vocal. She’s actually playing under my chair which she never does.
99. Our apartment is 1,000 square feet. It’s a mansion when measured next to most of my friends apartment.
100. It’s 6:03. I have to shower and go to bed before my boyfriend gets mad at me.