Cheating is Cheating.

Moving on with my list…

Before I got to Maine I knew that something was up with a couple that I know there.  Well actually something was up with one of the people in the couple.  The rumor mill had been churning for a while and about a week before I got there the rumors were confirmed that D had been cheating on L with another girl.  Not only had she been cheating, she had been doing so for three years.  A full year before they spent thousands of dollars on a commitment ceremony in which they stood up and declared their love for each other.   A full year before they spent thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant.


I’m not a fan of cheating.  I never have been.  It really gets my goat these days though.  I spent about 90% of my adult life cheating on boyfriends.  I lied.  I created truths.  I told them what they wanted to hear.  And I did all of this with a straight face of sincerity that EVERY single one of them bought.  Every single one of them.

In 2001 I took steps to curb my cheating.  That’s a post for another day, but I’ve been a good boy ever since.   I have had two boyfriends since then and I’ve been faithful to both.  Of course I should have been cheating on David for all the sex I WASN’T getting from him, but yet again that’s a post for another day.  Adam and I have been together for a year and a half and I can’t imagine betraying his trust.  I think I’d throw myself in front of a bus first.  I love him WAY too much to ever do that to him.  (And I’m not just saying this because I know he’s reading).

So my new found faithfulness has lead me to hate cheating.

So when I heard about this I was pissed.  I was REALLY pissed when I learned that D had been telling everyone that L knew about the affair.  That they had an open relationship and that it was all fine.  Of course she then followed with the statement, “L is very private about this so please don’t embarrass her by letting her know you know.”  This worked for a long time until the wrong person heard this.  This person went to my friend Michelle, and Michelle told her partner Lisa and Lisa confirmed that this was not at all the truth.

Uh.  Oh.

Unfortunately D is one of the performers in Maine so everyone was on pins and needles not wanting to upset the cart before the show.  The show closed on Saturday night.  Everyone went home on Sunday.  Lisa told L on Monday.

And needless to say the shit hit the fan.  A big ole heap of shit.

Turns out L knew nothing of this.  NOTHING.  D had been telling her exactly what she wanted to hear and as far as she knew everything was perfect.

On Tuesday D no longer lived with L.  The locks had been changed.  The bank accounts closed.

And D went on the defensive.  She filled everyone’s heads full of lies.  She was being unfairly treated.  L was lying, she knew all along.  Everyone was out to get her.  And the more she talked the more the lies started to unravel.

Turns out the person D was having the affair with had been assured that L knew about the relationship.  She was PISSED when she found out she was being lied to as well.

Six weeks later and most of the truth has come out.  L is moving on with her life.  Who knows what’s up with D.  No one, including myself seems to care.

And none of this is really any of my business.

Except that when other people are brought into the story/lie/scheming it becomes their business and all of us in the group we drawn into the lie.

Luckily I got L in the divorce.  Adam and I want her to escape to NYC and see us for a long weekend.  It would do her good and we could pamper her and make her feel better.


One thought on “Cheating is Cheating.

  1. javabear August 3, 2010 / 11:07

    I think it takes a certain level of maturity to devote oneself faithfully to another. As long as I’ve been reading the blogs I’ve seen a few guys move from “any and all I can get from anywhere, any time” to “my one true love, totally and forever.”

    I hope L heals quickly. A long weekend with you and Adam to pamper her sounds like a good deal. 🙂

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