Sleeping 101

I wish my boyfriend was a horrible cook/baker/chef.  Unfortunately he’s not.  Tonight I came home and found vanilla cupcakes frosted in salted caramel butter cream icing.  I’m eating one right now with the homemade vanilla ice cream he made over the weekend. Do you think he’ll still love me when it takes a fork lift to get  me out of the house?

Speaking of being overweight.

November 2005, I spent Thanksgiving with a bunch of  friends from grad school at my friend Angie’s parent’s house.  We all spent the night there.  The next morning everyone HATED me.  Seems my snoring had kept them all awake.


Angie’s mom suggested that I get checked to see if I had sleep apnea.

I did not.

Until last winter.

I trudged off to the sleep disorder place, was hooked up to about 40 wires, told to go to sleep (close to impossible) and then monitored all night.

Seems I have sleep apnea.

About a month ago, I trudged off to the sleep disorder place, was hooked up to about 40 wires, told to go to sleep (even harder than the first time) and was monitored all night.

Last Thursday I got my sleep apnea machine.

Continuous positive airway compression machine.


I strap it on, turn out the light and try to go to sleep.

I’ve figured out the strapping it on part.

I’ve even figured out the turning out the light part.

I still haven’t figured out the sleep part.

I lie there, listening to myself breath, hoping that I’ll fall asleep.  I went to bed last night at 5:00 a.m.  At 8:00 a.m. I finally gave up, took off the mask, turned over and promptly went to sleep.  I know that it’s supposed to help me breath better while I sleep, and get a better night’s rest.  But it seems to me that it’s all a moot point if I DON’T get any sleep.

And to make matters worse.  Adam and I can’t cuddle.  When I crawl in bed next to him I snuggle up next to him.  This lasts about ten minutes and then we both roll over and stay that way the rest of the night.  Since I can’t nudge him awake when I snuggle up to him, he doesn’t turn over and I’m left wondering how I’ve managed to get myself a boyfriend that I can’t cuddle with.

My doctor says I probably wouldn’t need the machine if I lost weight.

So it’s Adam’s fault I need the machine.

There I feel better already.


3 thoughts on “Sleeping 101

  1. Lemuel June 4, 2010 / 05:21

    A friend of mine uses one of those machines when he sleeps. He invited me to stay with him and his partner at their campsite (at a gay “clothing-optional” campground) a couple of times a few years ago. It was weird sleeping next to him with the machine going. If I had to use one, I think I would be in the same boat as you – unable to get to sleep.

  2. John June 4, 2010 / 08:17

    I have been using a BiPap machine since Feb. Before I was using it I was so tired driving to work, I would find my self nodding off at the wheel and felt like crap all the time. While I found it hard to fall alsleep, it does get better over time, but agree it definately is a killer to relations. Nothing like blowing air into your man’s face all night long.

  3. Java June 5, 2010 / 16:52

    I hate sleep studies. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep with all those wires glued all over me.

    As for the CPAP (Continuous Pressure Applied to the Proboscis) I don’t have any trouble sleeping with mine. I’ve heard stories similar to yours. My mother hates using hers. My husband has been using the CPAP for over 10 years, so I got used to sleeping with him using one. When I got mine it wasn’t such a challenge. I do miss the snuggling, though. You’re right, it’s really hard to snuggle with all that mess strapped to one’s face.

    The improvement in my sleep quality, and consequently my daytime alertness, makes the whole thing worth it. Also, I probably wouldn’t need the CPAP if I lost weight. If it makes you feel any better, my husband’s weight is not the issue with his sleep apnea. He’s a bit overweight now, but not much, and wasn’t overweight when he was diagnosed with sleep apnea.

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