And the plot thickens, as they say.
So today I got up, much later than normal, because I couldn’t sleep last night.
The first thing I do is check to see if all of my pending activity on my Chase account has posted so that I can go in and close my account.
I bring up Chase.com.
I type in my username.
I type in my password.
The page pops up and what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My account has a balance of -9.35.
What the fuck!
So I open up my account detail page and I see that check number 1031 for 250 has been presented to the bank. Because there were insufficient funds they are allowing the check to go through but they are charging me 35.00 to cover it. Leaving my account overdrawn by 9.35.
There’s a little problem with this.
Check number 1031 for 250 was presented and paid on March 11. It’s the only fucking check I’ve written on the account.
So I click on the contact us button on their site to find a number to call them.
This is what I found:
Perhaps you can show me where it lists anyone to call for personal checking accounts. It doesn’t. I had to call the business line, get the number and then call.
I was on the phone for almost 30 minutes.
They had no way to know what the check number was that was being presented. I told them it was check 1031. It says so on my computer screen. Well our screen does not show that. Then log into the fucking internet, pull up a fucking browser and access my account. Then you’ll see that the check that’s being presented cleared the bank a week ago.
I’m sorry for your inconvenience.
Well my inconvenience has even started yet. Who do you suggest I get to pay my credit card bill which is due on Friday that must be processed today so that it will be posted on Friday? Who do you suggest.
I’m sorry for you inconvenience. We’ll be happy to reimburse you for any fees that you might incur because of our mistake.
So can I assume that when my credit card interest rate goes through the fucking roof you’ll start to pay the “extra” interest to make up for your “so called mistake.”
Perhaps I can let you talk to a supervisor.
I’m put on hold.
Eventually Ms. Marshall comes on the phone and the first thing she does is ask how she can help me
I wish I knew how to write in a larger FONT in wordpress.
WHAT THE FUCK?????
Would be the largest it could be.
I’m now talking to Ms. Marshall and she knows nothing of what’s going on. So I proceed to tell her, once again that there is a problem, that a check has been presented for payment twice, that because of that my account is overdrawn, and that because of this the bills that need to be paid right now can’t because there is no money to pay them.
“Perhaps I can help?”
I sigh and say, “That’s very doubtful since the only person who has yet to be helpful in your company is the guy who signed me up for my account and he was so helpful he forgot to include a number of key items in the contract. So NO I don’t think you’ll be able to help.”
And what do you know? She can’t help? She can’t see the check number on her screen. Then pull it up on my account. It’s there. Trust me. I can’t do anything to help you get your money back until the check clears. That’s all fine and dandy but who do you suggest I get to pay my bills in the mean time? I really can’t help you there. No what you could do is tell me how to access the money that I’ve placed in your bank that can’t be accessed because you screwed up.
I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do to restore your money until the check clears.
This is a direct quote: “So you are telling me I’m fucked.”
That’s now what I’m saying at all. If it’s our mistake you’ll be refunded your money. Yes but in the meantime I can’t pay the bills that I have that need to be paid. What I suggest is that you pay your bill and Chase will cover it and if you haven’t used your yearly overdraft waiver then the overdraft fee will be waived. Of course I’ve used the over draft waiver. If you look at my account you’ll see that it was used to day to waive the over draft fee caused by the check that was paid two weeks ago being presented to the bank yet once again.
That’s all I can do.
And I’m done. I tell her yet once again that it’s no wonder the fucking banking industry is such a mess. If they can’t accurately handle the account the size of mine, what disastrous mistakes are they making on the big ones? I also tell her that it’s a nice scheme that now it’s been 5 days and I still don’t have access to the money that I deposited last Friday.
She starts to say something equally nonsensical and I say,
This conversation is over. I’m done with you. I’m done with your bank. As soon as this fucking check is processed I’ll close my account and you’ll be done with me.
I do know tomorrow when I go into the bank I’m not going to speak to the little lady who answers questions at the desk. I’m going to ask to speak to a manager. I don’t expect any thing to come of it, but I won’t discuss this any more with a help desk at the front of the bank.