“I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late start without me.”

How can you not love a woman who says things like this?

One of the MANY reasons I like Adam is because he gets tickets to a lot of shows in New York through work.  They are not all shows we want to see but anytime we can get free tickets we say yes.

Last week we saw Valerie Harper in “Looped.”

She plays the funny, dramatic and somewhat damaged Tallulah Bankhead.

And she’s hysterical.  And moving.

The play is based on a real event.  In 1965 Tallulah was asked to come in to a recording studio to re-record one line of dialogue from her last movie.  She arrives drunk, drinks more while she is there, and eventually brings everything to a halt.

I knew of Tallulah’s reputation.  I was a little amazed when I started reading about her.


And I think that’s why we all love her.  She said and did publicly what everyone else was doing or at least wanted to do.

You’ve got to love someone who makes no apologies about who they are and lives life to the fullest.

Here are some of her famous quotes:

“They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.”

“The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I’d make all the same mistakes – only sooner.”

“(on seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.”

“Here’s a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once”

“The less I behave like Whistler’s mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.”

“I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.”

“Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.”

“It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.”

“my father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”

“Cocaine habit-forming? Of course not. I ought to know. I’ve been using it for years.”

“(on why she called everyone “darling”) Because all my life I’ve been terrible at remembering people’s names. Once I introduced a friend of mine as ‘Martini’. Her name was actually ‘Olive’.”

I’ll leave you with this little story…

Wilted by the heat, the whole party moved to a cooler house nearby, where the hostess, offering them bathing suits, invited them down for a swim in her pool. “I never wear a suit,” declared Tallulah, who, good to her word, was soon standing on the diving board dressed in nothing but her pearls… it was a typical Tallulah scene, down to the fact that her chauffeur had to go back later and fish the pearls out of the water. When I asked her why she did it, she said, “I just wanted to prove that I was a natural ash blonde.”

See you Looped if you get the chance.  It’s a lot of fun.


4 thoughts on “Dahling…

  1. Sarah March 9, 2010 / 12:12

    Tallulah once found herself in a stall without toilet paper. She asked the woman in the adjoining stall for some. The woman indicated she had no toilet paper in her stall. Tallulah responded, “Well, do you have two fives for a ten?”

  2. Urspo March 11, 2010 / 00:26

    My favorite :

    “You know, there is a bit of the homosexual in all of us. It’s not the cock. and it’s not the twat. It’s the eyes, don’t you know. and sometimes the smell of lilac.”

    • Rich Monsoon March 14, 2010 / 02:36

      Haha. Bea Arthur told that story about Tallulah. I love it.

  3. Rich Monsoon March 14, 2010 / 02:35

    You must see the clip of her on I Love Lucy. It’s on youtube. Lucy imitating Tallulah is a riot in itself. Tallulah was something else. I have read a lot about her online.

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