AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

I HATE PEOPLE!!!

I especially HATE foreign deaf people!!!

I superduperwholehellofalot HATE my job!!!

A LOT!!!

Ugh.

So here’s how my evening went.

I got to work at 4:15.

I ordered my dinner.  Changed clothes.  Picked up my dinner.  Went to my “seat” (everyone knows it’s my seat so they move when they see me coming).  Prepared myself for “Pre-shift.”  (It’s the little meeting most restaurants have before a shift starts.  They tell you things like we are out of mango juice, we have three steaks left and stop stealing the Red Bull from the fridge.)

All of this is normal except for two things.

1.  Our GM shows up to tell us all that he’s leaving.  He gives his goodbye speech to 15 waiters.  We have 120 that work in our restaurant.  He says his speech to 15.  His last day is tomorrow but he’s leaving early because of the Snowicane.  (Look it up that’s the word being thrown around describing the blizzard that’s on the way.)

2.  We were closing early tonight.  We actually closed early last night and we are closing early tomorrow night as well.  The kitchen is getting completely overhauled and the work is being done over night.  We are closing at 9:30 so they have about 12 hours to finish it.

So my shift starts.  And about an hour into it, it’s already sucking.  How much is it sucking.  Well tonight I didn’t make one 20% tip.  I made about four or five 15% tips.  And I got stiffed on about 600 bucks in sales.  I don’t just mean bad tips.  I mean no money at all!  It just kept getting worse and worse.  Normally I’m able to laugh it off but tonight it was bothering me a lot.

So I plugged along, hoping that it would get better.  We were on a wait for most of the evening so I sat myself and kept hoping that the next table would be better.  It didn’t.

At 9:00 they stopped taking names.  At 9:15 the last tables were sat. At that point I have two tables.  A party of three at the counter.  And a party of two at a table.  That’s it.  The party at the rail was just drinking and the party at the table was just about finished eating.  I started my side work and was just about ready to call it a night when the host Jeff comes up to me and says,  “I just sat table 71.”

FUCK!!!  I hate when he fucking does this.  I’m done.  I’m ready to walk out the the door.  It’s one thing to have four or five other tables and get a couple more.  But when you are done and can be out the door in 15 minutes another table is not fun.

So he seats me.

So I give them time to get seated and I go up to greet them.

I say, “Hi guys.  How are you tonight?”  I always say this enunciated because you never know if the table can speak English.  If they don’t, most everyone has learned the basics ie.  Thank you.  Please.  How are you?

I say Hi.  And a girl at the table goes ballistic.  She starts pointing and waving her arms.  And it takes about five minutes to realize they are all deaf.

1.  It would have been nice if Jeff the host had told me this.  He clearly knew this since he sat the table.

2.  What she was doing was not signing.  I’ve seen signing.   This was waving her arms around and pointing.

I walk away from the table.

I wait a few minutes and go back to the table.

They are still not ready to order.  By this time the kitchen manager is yelling that he needs their order.  I go back to the table and write on my pad, “The kitchen is closing.”  This speeds up angry girl, but you’d think they’d never been out to a restaurant before.  Two of the girls refused to make a decision.  I walk away.  I come back.  They still haven’t decided.  I insist that they order.  And finally they order.

I’m being very nice.  I don’t like that they are there, but it’s my job to take care of them and I think I do a pretty good job of keeping my feelings in the wait station.

I get their drinks.  The are deaf and don’t talk but the one guy at the table did manage to squeak out, “Free Refills?”

Ugh.

Not only that.  They order Mt. Dew.  Which is fine but you can’t get it at the bar so now, station 16 is pissed because they can’t break down the soda station till we are sure they’ve had their fill.  I finally fill three pitchers and tell her to go to it.

Their food is up.  I take it to the table.  By now it’s about 9:45 and they’ve started to eat.  I’ve never seen people eat so slowly.  They took forever.  I kept going by the table.  And by the table. At around 10:30 everyone is finished but two people and ask about dessert.  I’m told they want dessert.  I get the menus and alert the manager.  I know they want brownies they told me this when they ordered.  The manager tells me to give them two options.  Brownie’s were not on that list.  I explain that if he wants to go tell them he can, but they were sat to eat after we closed and that they should be allowed to order since they were sat.  He doesn’t like that answer but he says okay.   I go back to the table.  It’s explained to me that they won’t order dessert till EVERYONE is finished eating.

FUCK!

FINALLY SHE FINISHES AND THEY ORDER DESSERT!

I get them out of the kitchen on to the table and it’s now almost 10:45.

I should point out that by this point there is NO NONE left in the restaurant.  The bar is empty.  The lights are at full.  And as the manager pointed out, it didn’t really matter, but the music is off.  It’s the five people, me, a busser, and the manager.  That’s it.

I give them about five minutes with dessert and I drop the check.

This is the part that scares me at this point.  The check is 198.00.

So I drop the check.

The continue to eat.  And eat.  And eat.  It’s now 11:00 and they are still eating.  I finally go over and indicate that they need to pay the check.  Angry girl waves at me.  I walk away.

I give them a few more minutes and I walk by and the check is till laying there.

I give them a few more minutes and I walk by and the girl indicates that they need five separate checks.

FUCK ME!  She might have mentioned that sometime before RIGHT NOW!

I grab the check.  Go the computer.  Separate it and take them back to the table.

And they continue to eat.  And eat.  And eat.

And finally they get up to pay.

They act as if they are surprised that they have to pay.

And slowly one by one they pay me.

In cash.

Exact change.

EXACT FUCKING CHANGE.

EXACT!

FUCKING!

CHANGE!

The last girl hands me her money, I rip the money the money out of her hand, I pick up all the receipts and storm away.  It’s the closest I’ve ever come to saying something to someone about a tip since I’ve worked there.

So let me recap.

At 9:15 I’m almost ready to go.

At 11:30 I’m still in the restaurant after wasting two hours to wait on the fuckers for free!

I made .087 percent of my sales tonight.  I would have only made .065 if I’d tipped out as much as I should have.

My co-worker Nick made almost 50 more than I did and he was at home when I texted him at 11:30 to tell him that they stiffed me.

Luckily Adam was still up and I called him and yelled at him for about ten minutes.  He was nice and listened and told me to just let it go.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

And one last note.  Wordpress recognizes Fuck as a word, which is good because I use it a lot.  It does not recognize fuckers.

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2 thoughts on “AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

  1. Sarah February 25, 2010 / 09:00

    I hope you sent them on their way with a hand signal.

  2. Java February 25, 2010 / 09:13

    That’s a fucking nightmare!

    WordPress also recognizes “fucking” but not WordPress. WordPress yes. WordPress or wordpress, no.

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