You’ll feel a little pinch…

I’m not feeling so well tonight.

And I’m a little bored with Christmas, although if I stop I’ll suffer the wrath of Adam.

So I’ll tell you about my week.

Last October I went home to Kentucky when my Aunt Doo got sick.

On my last day there, I bit into a Tootsie-Roll and pulled out a 20 year old filling.

So when I got home I made a quick trip to the dentist, and was told by my dentist that I needed a root canal but it was going to be tricky so I needed to come back and see the BIG dentist who owns the practice.

So I make an appointment f0r two weeks later and I come back.

And I’m told that to fix the tooth it will take four appointments.  Two to complete the root canal.  One to prep the tooth for the crown and then one to actually do the crown.  It should all be done by Thanksgiving.

Appointment one goes just as planned.  Need to make appointment two.  No appointments for two weeks.  Fuck.

By now it’s already the end of November.

I go to my next appointment.  Goes perfectly.

Unfortunately with my travel schedule and his vacation schedule nothing else can be done till I get back from Texas.  I make an appointment for the first of January.  It’s now almost two months.

I go in for my appointment.  He puts me back in the chair.  He numbs my mouth.  He starts to work and the minute he starts I grab the arms of the chair in pain.  He stops and says, “You can feel that?”  I say yes.  “He says, that’s weird.  You are not supposed to feel that.”   He gets all huffy looks at the x-ray and leaves.  He comes back and says.  “If you can feel that then the root canal wasn’t successful and that only leaves one solution.  The tooth will have to come out.

FUCK.

What the fuck does that mean?

Not only does that mean the fucking tooth has to be pulled it’s now almost three months later and it’s still not fixed.

So I’m given a referral to an oral surgeon who will extract the tooth because…

Seems the root is longer than he realized and it’s very close to the sinus cavity and I need a specialist to do this.

FUCK.

So I make the appointment.

For February 1.

It’s now four months later.

So I go to my appointment on Monday.  I’ve been told not to eat or drink anything six hours before the appointment and to have someone come and get me when the appointment is over.

So I get there.  I fill out all the paper work.

I’m taken back and have ANOTHER set of x-rays done.

Then I’m taken into my room and Dr. Steve comes in and starts to explain the procedure.

They will need to cut the tooth into three pieces and then pull it out one root at a time.  And it’s going to hurt.

Then he gives me options.

1.  I can let them put me to sleep for about 15 minutes, they’ll do the work.  I’ll wake up and it will be over.  The best part of this is that the way it’s done causes the least amount of swelling and bruising and I will have a lot less pain.

2.  They can stick a needle in the roof of my mouth (three times) until I’m numb, I’ll be awake for the whole thing and there will be more pain and more bruising.

Which would you like to do…oh but I should mention that your insurance won’t pay for option 1 and it will cost your four hundred dollars…which I’ll need today.

HMMMM???

What to do, what to do?

I tell him to give me the shot.

It takes about 20 minutes to get the tooth out and then another ten or so to stitch me up.

I now have a hole in my mouth with about 17 stitches.

Luckily Adam had met me at the office and carried me home and doted on me all night.  I assured him I was fine, but he said to sit on the couch and do as I was told.  So I did.

On Monday night it wasn’t too  bad.  Of course this might have been because of the Vicodin they gave me.

By the time I went to bed it was hurting.  I took another Vicodin a shot of bourbon and I was off to bed.  (I joke about the bourbon)

Tuesday was fine.  I actually have a high tolerance for pain.  So I don’t know if the tooth wasn’t bothering me or I wasn’t minding it.  I do know it sort of comes in waves.  Tonight at work for about two hours it was driving me crazy.  It woke me up this morning hurting.  (Nurse Adam brought me a pill and some water and made it all better).

I have to go back on Tuesday afternoon and have the stitches taken out.

And then.

I go back to my dentist in May to start the process to replace the tooth.  It will probably be June before it’s done.

Fuck!

And can I say that for years I’ve had friends joke about how wonderful Vicodin is.  That’s it’s fun and makes you feel great.  I’m taking it because it’s prescribed but I’m not really sure it works any better than Advil and I don’t feel any different than I do with Advil.  The only thing I know for sure it’s doing it making me constipated.  Of course my friend Michelle, who is a doctor, told me I could sell my prescription on the street for about 10 dollars a pill.  Maybe I should call in for a refill and pay off my credit card with the money I make.

I’M TEASING!!!

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4 thoughts on “You’ll feel a little pinch…

  1. Lemuel February 4, 2010 / 07:07

    That kind of dentistry is certainly no fun. Your tale reminds me of my experiences in having my four wisdom teeth pulled. (BTW, I do *not* like to be reminded of those experiences! 😉 ) The first two were pulled using novacaine by a dentist. For the last two (yes, I went through this *four* times. Don’t ask.) I was put asleep and they were removed via oral surgery. I had no dental insurance, but somehow the last two qualified under my medical insurance for which I am eternally grateful.

  2. catrina February 4, 2010 / 08:44

    I’m at work right now with a throbbing toothache–and I was at the dentist yesterday! As for Vicodin, I don’t see what the attraction is. It helps my pain for about an hour, then I’m so hyped up I can’t sit still. And, yes, I found out the hard way about the constipation after knee surgery. Docs should prescribe something for that along with the Vicodin. My son told me Vicodin sells for $5 each on the street—or so he’s heard.

  3. Rick February 4, 2010 / 19:35

    I prefer Advil to pain medication. Vicodin will bind you up like a cement truck.

  4. javabear February 6, 2010 / 14:30

    Superman had shoulder surgery a few years ago. That is a very painful procedure. He was on something like Vicodin for a couple of weeks, and the constipation was a bitch. He hates that stuff.

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