Maddog’s Last Waiter Shift of 2009

Adam has requested that I  mention that although the events I wrote about last night might have happened that I’m prone to embellishment for comic reading and for furthering my own need for attention.

Damn him!

Okay.

So sometimes I might embellish the story for effect.  But a few of the facts are correct.  He drove 75 miles an hour in the snow.  I did take a nap.  AND.  He DID call me a pussy.  Twice.

Two of my favorite tables of 2009 were in the restaurant tonight.

At 10:30 I sat a couple.  I took their order.  They ordered two waters and a brownie sundae.  And at 1:00 a.m. when I left for the night they were still chatting at my table.  They did tip me 20%.  But as I pointed out to many of my co-workers.  20% of 9.80 is 2.00.  Yeap.  They were there for over three hours and I made a whole two dollars.

FUCK THEM.

BUT.

I really had one of the best tables ever tonight.

A woman cornered me and asked if she could sit at my table.  There was much discussion and finally I said yes.  She told me then that I would be rewarded for my deed.  This is always a red flag.  The minute someone says they are going to “hook you up” that means you’ll be lucky to get 15%.  Turns out the table was great.  She was funny.  Her husband was funny and sexy with that distinguished grey hair at the temples kind of thing.  The teenagers were great.  And they didn’t even mind that the kitchen was taking forever.  At the end of the meal she asked for the check.  When I got to the table to drop it off she was the only one at the table.  She took the check and thrust money into my hand.  She told me the money was for letting them sit at my table and that the tip would be what ever her husband left when he returned to sign the credit card slip.

She had given me40 dollars.

Her husband tipped 30 dollars on their 100.00 check.

70 dollars off one table.

My faith in humanity is renewed.

Tonight was my last money shift for 2009.

I have to be a cater waiter for New Year’s Eve.  The restaurant is closed for a private party and because I was off Xmas and Thanksgiving I have to work.  I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.

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