Maddog Goes to Church

Hold on a second.

I have to get my soap box.

I’ll be right back.


I’m back.

I saw this photo on line to day at Joe.My.God.



Makes a girl wonder.  So I googled Deuteronomy 22:13-21.

This is the passage as it’s written in the King James Bible.

13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

15Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

16And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

17And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

18And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

19And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

I’m no biblical scholar and don’t want to be for the matter.  But a third grader could figure out that if a man discovers his wife is not a virgin after he marries her, then she shall be put to death.

I also found these verses:

Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife–with the wife of his neighbor–both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

Proverbs 6:32But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.

How about some New Testament:

Matthew 19:9 “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

I didn’t spend hours tonight looking for references in the Bible about homosexuality.  What I did find shows that it’s discussed far less than adultery is.

So here’s the thing.  Who the fuck do these people thing they are?  You know, the Ted Haggards of the world who preach and spew hatred to thousands of people daily in the name of Jesus.  It would take about ten seconds to find a list of a thousand “Christians” who have cheated on their spouses.  Their Bible which condemns me to hell, seems to let them go on TV apologize and be forgiven.  I love the hypocrisy of “THEIR” religion and their bible.  It’s funny how they pick and choose the verses which work for them.  Maggie Gallagher of National Organization for Marriage was an unwed mother.  According to her bible she should have been stoned to death.  Anita Bryant one of the loudest opponents of gay rights has been married twice.  She should have been punished for divorcing her husband and stoned to death for not being a virgin when she married her second husband.

As I said I’m no biblical scholar but I do know a few versus by heart:

Matthew 7:12.  Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The first one is for me the most important one of all.  Who the fuck am I to judge.  As long as you are not hurting anyone or anything then go for it.  If you want to enjoy having sex with a pumpkin then just clean up after yourself.  If you are into scat and can find someone to do it with you, then go for it.  You enjoy having a fist shoved up your butt then go for it.  As long as you don’t force me to do and don’t make me hear about your escapades I don’t care.

As for the second verse.  In the two seconds it took me to look it up I found this:  It’s the most widely quoted and is considered the most important verse of all because it is a summery of most of the doctrines of the bible.  It doesn’t say unless you are gay.  Or an adulterer.  Or even a killer for that matter.  It just states that if you believe in Jesus then you have a path to heaven.

It’s late and I’m not sure any of this is making any sense.  So I’ll end on this.  Fuck you and the bible you use to condemn me.  I’ve said this for years and I will say it again.  There is a special place in hell for all the Christians out there who teach hate and intolerance.  I don’t believe in the rapture, but if it ever does happen there are going to be a hell of a lot of upset people when they are the ones left behind and all the heathens who have lived their lives in a forgiving, loving mannerr are taken away.  And besides if I do end up in hell, just think of all the fabulous parties we can have, because all the fun people will be there.


5 thoughts on “Maddog Goes to Church

  1. Lemuel September 19, 2009 / 05:31

    I so thoroughly enjoy your rant, Maddog, because for the most part I very much agree with it. The hypocrisy of those who have taken the name of “Christian” hostage is legion. You point out only a subset, but a good subset. You are absolutely correct in your analysis that a lot of [falsely-called] “Christian” people are going to be very surprised when “this is all over”.
    You quoted two (very significant) passages from the scriptures that you were familiar with. May I suggest expanding your knowledge of the second. Add John 3:17 to John 3:16. It is significant: “For God sent not the Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.” Just a couple of quick notes: 1. those who are filled with condemnation of others have missed the point (and the boat). 2. the word in the Greek translated as “world” encompasses the entire created cosmos. From my perspective that includes all of us in the LGBT Family.

  2. javabear September 19, 2009 / 11:58

    I rather like the idea of quoting scripture back at these self-righteous bigots. I don’t know if it is an effective way to communicate anything positive to anyone in the equation, but it makes me feel good.

    One of my favorite verses comes shortly after the one that Lemuel quotes. John 3:19 – “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” I use this verse SO FAR out of context when I complain to the other members of my family about their habit of leaving the window shades closed during the day, thus leaving much of the house in darkness when the beautiful natural light of day could be bringing brightness inside. What does that have to do with what the Bible says? Nuthin’.

  3. Urspo September 19, 2009 / 16:57

    My experience is people like to pick and choose their bible passaages for their needs. “Even the Devil can quote Scripture for his purpose”

    In Cromwellian England they nearly made Mosaic law actual law, meaning all these old things were to be real. Happily even the puritans figured out people like to drink.

  4. Sarah September 20, 2009 / 12:04

    You know who I like? I like Mennonites (sp?) and/or The Amish. They are highly religious and enjoy a good literal interpretation of the Bible but they leave me alone. I like that. They lead their lives the way they want and don’t try to make me wear bonnets. The Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses and the megachurchers could all learn a good deal from these unassuming people.

    They also make lots of nice furniture and sell great produce, preserves and baked goods.

  5. BearToast Joe September 21, 2009 / 13:14

    It’s not about following scriptural warrants but finding scripture to follow their ideas. Per Lemuel, they are the losers.

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