A return from the country — Day 46

When last we chatted I was riding with Kelly to our hotel.  She was ready to scream because of the dent in her car and the insane way the prop girl was reacting.  Things only got worse from here.

We arrived at our lovely motel.  Nothing but the best for us.  Motel 6.  They left the light on for us.  When we got there there was a line out the door of people trying to get checked in.  They were all from our company.  Luckily the guy that I roomed with was one of the first to get there and had already gotten our keys.  I went in search of my room, leaving the rest to fend for themselves.

The room left a little to be desired.  First off, it was a non-smoking room.  At least that’s what the sign said.  We had our doubts by the smell.  And the upside down ashtray on the bedside table.  But that’s what we were told.  There was no art on the walls.  It’s the most institutional place I’ve been in a long time.  There was no carpet.  It’s was some sort of laminate.  The room was lit by those energy efficient lights that never get quite bright enough, and give off the worst quality of light ever.  The bathroom was the worst.  The toilet was covered in ashes, where clearly the last guests had smoked.  And the tub was covered in some sort of dirt, mud stuff.  We thought it was stained but I found out differently the next morning when I showered.  To say the least the place was disgusting.

Before the motel we were treated to an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  It was gross to say the least.  The restaurant was in a building that looked like it used to be a Dairy Queen.  The food tasted like it was cooked three days ago, which might be because as always we were the last to arrive.  And the worst part of the meal was the Diet Coke was awful.  I don’t know why, but I almost spit it out when I took my first drink.  I psst at Kelly across the room and told her to be careful when she tried it.  She didn’t believe me, but then took her first drink and the look on her face told me that she agreed with me.

The night ended with everyone gathered at the pool drinking.  I had a tiny  bourbon and coke and stood by the pool for about two minutes before I’d had enough and went back to my room.  In the room the tenor Brian, and the soprano Diana, and I had a drink and chatted.  This lasted about ten minutes and then it was off to bed for everyone.

The next morning we were up at the crack of dawn to travel to our next location.  This theatre is worse than the first one.  This theatre is the auditorium of the local high school, which was built in 1924.  And once again I don’t think it’s been updated since.  The place is an accident waiting to happen.  And the lighting.  Well I won’t go into it, but it sucks.  And big time.  The best part of the whole experience there is the personalities of the people who help us.  The local drama teacher is a good ole boy at best and according to our primary contact, Bill, is a drunk.  The drama teacher likes to drink beer starting early in the morning and going all day.  And Bill’s son joins him.  Seems the drama teacher has a pool table so they are at his house in the winter.  And Bill’s son has a pool, so they party there in the summer.  I could tell about ten more stories that Bill shared with us, but my battery will die before I get them typed.

And the worst part of the trip.  Which was a complete and total repeat from last year.  The fucking air conditioner was broken.  And just like last year they assured us it would be fixed by early afternoon.  And like last year it wasn’t.  The only real difference was that last year the temperature outside was about 97 degrees and this year it was 89 degrees.  It made a big difference.  The tenor in the show was sweating so badly that costumes had to search for a new shirt for him.  I was in the light booth which was at the top of the theatre and the temperature there was about 50 degrees warmer than it was on stage.  And the audience was miserable.  No one laughed at anything, and many of them left at intermission.

And after about 10 hours the show was over.  We loaded everything into the truck and we were on our way.  It was nice riding in Kelly’s car back home.  She has a convertible and we put the top down and cruised home.  It was about midnight when we got there.  And the first thing we all discovered was that the Internet was not working.

But we were home in one piece and everyone was exhausted.  And we celebrated by drinking.  Which is what you do when you are doing summer theatre.

And on a final note.  In yesterday’s post I forgot to mention that at the first theatre we performed in, that it’s a policy that the Star Spangled Banner be played before every event.  So at 8:00 p.m. instead of playing the overture, the orchestra started with the national anthem.  And after the umpire said “Play Ball” the show commenced.


5 thoughts on “A return from the country — Day 46

  1. Lemuel July 6, 2008 / 19:43

    I’m beginning to think, Maddog, that you are working your way through eternity on a pay-as-you-go plan.

  2. urspo July 6, 2008 / 20:43

    heighho the glamous life of the theatre – hang in there!

  3. Peter July 6, 2008 / 22:28

    So next year, you don’t sign up for an extra two weeks?! Or do you want to check if the AC is repaired?

  4. Bill July 7, 2008 / 21:18

    Your motel room sounds like a dream come true for a serial murderer.

  5. javabear July 12, 2008 / 01:09

    Wow. Sounds like a little slice of hell.

    “And after the umpire said ‘play ball’ the show commenced.”

    Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate the charm of small towns, ain’t it?

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