Count down to Doctor — 5 days

I’m going bat shit crazy.  I haven’t been out of my apartment in 11 days.  I don’t know how much longer I can take this.  I feel like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

My roommate’s going to come home one day and find me typing on my keyboard over and over again…

All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy.

And then a couple of days later, I’ll start seeing little girls at the end of the hall.  (Well if we had a hall).

And then I’ll try to kill him with an axe.  (I just typed ex.  I’m going to kill him with one of my ex-boyfriends).

And then I’ll freeze to death outside in the maze — if it’s the movie.

If it’s the book, the apartment will blow up, because I haven’t checked the boiler in a week.

Either way the pain and suffering will be over.

All kidding aside,  It’s getting a little old.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I actually lived in a neighborhood where there are things to do.  But there are no coffee shops.  No bookstores.  No movies.  No restaurants.  There absolutely no places I want to go in my neighborhood.  And it’s such a pain to navigate the subway, the stairs, etc. on crutches that it’s just not worth it.  And thus I’ve been here.  For 11 days.  Without going out.  Eating the same food everyday.  Being miserable.  And if I have to watch one more minute of TV or look at one more website I’m going to scream.  AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

I keep telling myself that it’s only till Thurday.  I have an appointment on Thursday with the orthopedist and I”m praying that he takes this fucking thing off my foot.  And even if it has to stay on, I want him to put a new one on.  Let me take this one off and wash my leg and then put a clean one on.  I just want to walk again.

And this is why I think my trip to the midwest is going to happend a little sooner than I though.  The problem with NYC is that it’s a pedestrian city.  You walk everywhere.  And if you don’t walk, you take a cab where you need to go.  Which gets expensive.  The other problem here is that I live on the northern tip on Manhattan.  Which is about three states from midtown.  You need a passport to get here.  So it’s hard to convince any of my friends to venture up to see me.  For them to get here from Brooklyn or Queens is more than an hour.  So I see no one, I go no where, and I’m here all day everyday by myself.  And what about my roommate you ask?  He’s here some.  But he has a job, and a social life, and errands and stuff so it’s not like I can chain in to the chair and make him sit here with me.  Thus my stir craziness.  And my need to get the ax out and do some damage.  So the thing is, if I go on to OK then I at least will be around other people.  And I’ll have people to drive me places like, coffee shops, movies, bookstores, and restaurants.  And I’ll have people to watch TV (once again, why is this capitalized?) and I won’t go so bat shit crazy.  So I’m considering doing this.  I’m going to call on Monday to find out how much it will cost to change the ticket.  In the meantime…

Everyone say a little prayer that this fucking cast comes off on Thursday.


11 thoughts on “Count down to Doctor — 5 days

  1. Peter May 11, 2008 / 05:28

    That cast will come off on Thursday… to be replaced by a new one in a color you like [neon pink?] I know you don’t want a new cast, but they are put on for a reason… to stop patients, like you, get back on their feet and doing all the things they shouldn’t be doing with a half mended ancle.

    BTW, ask the furry one back to sell it on Ebay!

  2. Bill May 11, 2008 / 05:39

    I’m transcribing my mother’s diaries in my second blog. I’m working on 1963 presently. She doesn’t capitalize tv, if that makes you feel any better. So stop doing it if you like; she blazed that trail for you.
    Think of the freedom it will give you, and the time saved through seamless keyboarding. Things like atv, suv, cia, tgif, nyc, irs will fly from your fingertips, heedless of the shift key. You’ll have more time to enjoy being in your apartment!
    By all means, go to OK, okay? I love your travel tales, and I’ve roamed around a few in the archives. Plus, it’s tornado season, and that’s always a lark.
    If you go to you can find the game battleship in their game archives and be transported back in time to age ten.
    I hope you get the news you want this Thursday. In the meantime, you can crochet scarves for all of us. Good luck, but go ahead and ask your ex-boyfriends to clear their calendars in case to decide on the killing spree.

  3. zeph May 11, 2008 / 09:45

    Go figure. I’d be happy as a clam not leaving my apartment for 11 days. (Clams are, apparently, famously happy, and they don’t leave their apartments at all.)

    Perhaps you should ignore the nuisance of the crutches and just go ahead and get out, anyway. Sounds like you’d feel better.

  4. Lemuel May 11, 2008 / 15:19

    Man, you are one, cruel sob!! Threatening to kill your roomie with you ex! I mean that is just plain sadistic! a gun, a knife, poison, … anything… would be more merciful than your ex!!


    [wishing you the best – patience until Thursday – and a good report from the Doc. Maybe in the interim he will put on a walking cast – or give you one of those “canvas shoe” thingies – that will allow you to be more mobile.]

  5. urspo May 11, 2008 / 19:09

    dear me it does sound like it is getting to you
    Try to get out.

  6. Daniel May 12, 2008 / 00:06

    have you tried knitting?

  7. Sarah May 12, 2008 / 08:09

    The tv thing bugs me, too. Once I didn’t capitalize google and I got spellchecked for it.

    Okay, no more tv and websites for you. Time to start reading. Even if you’ve read him before, David Sedaris will always make you laugh.

  8. Donnie May 15, 2008 / 09:24

    I agree….you really need to read something before the insanity takes over completely. 😉

  9. billy July 28, 2009 / 17:31

    get some pot dude

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