Things I learned today…

Things I learned today and last night…

First.  It’s not a good idea to try and pick a new book to read at 4:30 a.m.  Nothing sounds interesting.  Everything looks too serious.  And they all look like they will take too much effort.  And then when you finally pick a book and brush your teeth and settle in to bed to read for a few minutes before you go to sleep…..the book you chose SUCKS.  Next time I’ll choose the book in the afternoon so I’ll just have to go with my choice.

Humanity doesn’t suck.  I had a great night at work tonight.  I had fun.  All but a couple of my tables were fun as well.  Nobody yelled at me.  No one was rude to me.  I didn’t get pissed about the tables that didn’t tip.  I was there, I had a good time and actually enjoyed being there.  I’m glad to.  After the shifts I’ve had over the past couple of weeks I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me.  I guess not.  I also wanted to share this with you since I seem to complain about work on here a lot.

When you don’t go to bed until 5:00 a.m.–sunny days suck.  When I woke up this morning the sun was shining beautifully.  At 9:15…a.m.   I think on the mornings after I work it shouldn’t be allowed to be sunny until at least noon.  I’m just saying.

It’s equally wonderful when you walk down the stairs into the subway station just as the train arrives.  So that you don’t wait even thirty seconds to get on board.  It makes very tired people very happy.

It’s nice when half the wait staff is gay because everyone is on the lookout for cute boys.  About a million times tonight someone would come over and say, “Have you seen the cute boys on table 104?  Have you seen the German boys at the bar.  I have the most beautiful Australian boys at table 701.”  It makes the night ever so much fun and it’s nice to take a 10 second breather from running around to see cute boys.

Lesbians are fun.  I had two lesbians who sat at one of my tables right at the beginning of the evening.  A couple of things happened that could have upset someone else but they laughed it off.  First, we didn’t have honey for their hot tea.  And then the milk they put in their tea was bad.  We made jokes about it and no one seemed to mind.  About 30 minutes into the visit, our cute little gay manager stopped by to do a table visit.  As he left they said to me, “Damn he’s cute.”  And I agreed.   They then ask me if I had a boyfriend.  I replied no and then told them that almost no one I wait on assumes that I’m gay.  I also told them that I also don’t want people to know, not because I’m embarrassed but because I want to be what ever they want me to  be.  If little old ladies want me to coo over them and flirt with them, I can do that.  If 20 something girls want me to joke around with them and tell them are great I can do that.  And if butch straight men want to talk sports…I change the subject and hope they didn’t notice.  So the conversation with the two lesbians continued and they asked me if there was anyone I had a little crush on at work.  And there is.  His name is Anthony and he’s absolutely beautiful.  He’s about 24 or 25 and has a great body, is somewhat intelligent and is nice on top of it all.  I told them I would have him stop by and say hi.  They immediately said no…and I laughed and told them I was kidding.  After they paid, they said they were going to hang out for a while because they had tickets to a show.  It was only 6:15 and so I asked if they would mind moving to my bar area so I could seat another table where they were sitting.  They said they didn’t mind.  After they were settled at the bar they asked for drink refills.  So I went to the kitchen and made their drinks and just as I was heading out of the kitchen I passed Anthony.  I suddenly acted like I was in the weeds (the weeds are when a waiter is super busy and everyone wants something at the same time) and asked Anthony if he would take their drinks to them.  He did.  And about three minutes later I walked by them and we all burst out laughing.  They screamed, “We know what you did.” To which I replied, “I told you I would have him stop by.”  And then they said they approved of my crush.  And that he was HOT.  H.  O.  T.  Hot.

And that my friends is what I learned tonight.

And isn’t nice when you spell check your blog post and it tells you nothing is mispelled.  What a nice way to end the evening….Of course I’m also glad it doesn’t check for grammatical errors…I’m just saying.

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3 thoughts on “Things I learned today…

  1. Lemuel March 1, 2008 / 07:11

    I assume that you know that gay patrons check out the wait staff for cute boys and comment to each other about them. “Check out the guy serving the next table. Woof!”

    Two can play at that game, you know. *wink and grin*

  2. Kelly March 1, 2008 / 15:48

    That sounded like a great night…..yippie!!! The lesbians seemed fun too… sorry about the book…

  3. Donnie March 7, 2008 / 17:07

    This was a great post that made me grin from ear to ear. 🙂 Thanks Maddog.

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