“Have you always been big?”

I did a very rare thing today.  I spent the day at home.  Not only did I spend the day at home, but I spent it working.  I wrote three letters of application for various teaching jobs around the country.  They’ll get mailed out tomorrow.  I also spent a couple of hours working on the design for my next three shows.  The design is due next Monday and I’m going to have to work my ass off to get it done on time.  It’s not that my getting work done is rare, it’s just that typically I find reasons when I’m in NYC to go downtown and do things.  Go to the movies, cruise for boys, meet with friends, go to dinner, etc., etc.  I did go to Staples, but it’s just up the street and I was gone about 45 minutes.  I would have been gone less time but I was talking to my friend Michelle.  We’d been playing phone tag for about a week or so and had a lot to catch up on.   I have to admit that it felt good to get so much done.  Now if I can only get even more done tomorrow.  Of course I have to go downtown tomorrow to Kinkos to get some copies made of my design.  But it should only be an hour or so.  I’ll have to make it quick.

images-1.jpgNow for the interesting part of my day.  My roommate has a friend staying with us for a couple of days.  It’s no big deal.  I have had several over nights guests and he’s always been very accomodating.  As a matter of fact, I have a friend from San Diego who will be staying here over the weekend.  What’s so interesting about this house guest is that he was home all day.   He sat on the sofa and worked on his computer.  He was so quiet I almost didn’t know he was here.  Of course it meant that I couldn’t walk around in my underwear, or crank showtunes on the stereo but it was okay.  None of this would be worth mentioning but at about 5:00 o’clock or so he began to get ready to meet my roommate for dinner.  He was in the middle of this when he says to me…”Have you always been big?”  I wasn’t 100% sure what he was talking about.  So I said, “You mean fat?”  He said yeah.  I was completely caught off guard.  Who asks someone that when you barely know them.  In reality when do you ask someone that when you’ve known them forever?  I told him my usual story of why I’ve gained weight.  And he had a few other things to say and then he went about getting ready to go.  I’ve had several hours to think about this.  I wasn’t pissed.  I’m not pissed.  I’m just curious as to what kind of background a person comes from that makes it allowable to talk to someone about something so personal when you barely know them?  I’m from a backwoods, country family and you wouldn’t mention it to your family, let alone a stranger.  So my question to you guys is…”Would you have asked a question like that?”

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14 thoughts on ““Have you always been big?”

  1. kellystern May 22, 2007 / 05:37

    Well I think that is rude… especially from a stranger… If I knew you for many years, I may have worded it differently and asked about the slight weight gain… but never would I have the balls to ask a question like that to anyone… ughhh

  2. DWQ Online May 22, 2007 / 06:50

    What kind of freak is that roommate’s friend? How rude and inappropriate in any setting unless it’s a new doctor.

  3. Condoblogger May 22, 2007 / 13:41

    WOW… what a dick! The correct answer to his question is, “fuck you.”

  4. Scotty May 22, 2007 / 13:57

    I would NEVER say anything even if I was thinking it…hta is quite rude. I agree with Condoblogger although I probably would have said, “So can I ask you? have you always been so RUDE?”

    But that is how I am!

  5. Sean May 22, 2007 / 14:50

    You were far more cordial than I would have been. I agree my response would have been”Have you always been a dick?” or somesuch retort. There is NO excuse for a rude, unwelcome and inappropriate question like that, unless your maybe 6 and don’t know any better! Bravo to you for handling it with grace, but that guy needs a good back hand and some exlax in his cocoa for being such a shit for brains!

  6. Cincy Diva May 22, 2007 / 16:19

    That’s just downright rude from any background!

  7. Cincy Diva May 22, 2007 / 16:22

    oh but now I have to tell you a story. I was walking downtown Cincy one evening and a balck man was sitting at a bus stop and hollered to me
    “Hey Fat Girl! Can I go home wit you?”
    I just looked at me and asked “Has that line ever worked?”
    People can be so mean.

  8. robert May 22, 2007 / 17:05

    Some people can be extremely socially inept. I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in years and he said, “you’ve gained weight.” Gee, thanks.

  9. Donnie May 22, 2007 / 19:10

    That’s beyond reprehensible!

    As someone who grew up as “the fat kid”, I take criticism about my weight (any whatsoever) to heart.

    I can’t get over how callous people are…especially about weight issues.

  10. sortedlives May 22, 2007 / 19:17

    It’s obvious he grew up in a house with no social skills. You are a much better man than I would have been. I doubt I would have been as nice!

  11. urspo May 22, 2007 / 21:56

    i agree; a major manners faux pas.
    I can think of no acceptable situation to ask such as question unless coming from a doctor in an exam room.

  12. deldell May 23, 2007 / 18:46

    The boy was just rude. I would have asked him if he had always been such a dick, but matching his tone, to take him by surprise.
    exit: He submits his comment, shaking his head sadly.

  13. Zeph May 24, 2007 / 03:24

    Meh. So you’re heavy and someone makes a comment about it? Faux pas, ok, but that speaks only of them, not you. One should not take offense at the truth, and that’s advice from a fat faggot.

  14. dirkmancuso May 28, 2007 / 12:01

    #1) It’s none of his business how much you weigh.
    #2) It’s speaks loads of his upbringing that he thought to ask that was appropriate.
    #3) He’s an ass.

    For the record, I’ve never seen you but I’ve been reading for quite a while now, and I know you are handsome inside and out because of the person you are.

    Hugs,

    Dirk

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