I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before on my blog but I hate being late. It causes me great stress to know that I am running late for anything. The importance and relevance of the event doesn’t matter. It could be a doctor’s appointment, a movie, a date, school, work. It doesn’t matter. I’m almost always on time. In fact, I’m almost always early. It’s a very rare occasion when I arrive at the scheduled time. It can be kind of embarrassing when it’s a party and I’m there 15 minutes before the start time. More often than not, I sit in the parking lot and way till an appropriate time to “arrive.”
Over the years I’ve come to realize that everyone else is not this way. And with gay men it’s even worse. I’ve had way too many friends to count that couldn’t be on time if there life depended on it. That being said it annoys me when I’m kept waiting. I’m also annoyed when others don’t appreciate that my time is just as valid as theirs.
For example tonight. I was scheduled to have dinner with my friend Sean and his boyfriend. This had been scheduled all week but I received a phone call from Sean this morning letting me know that he was very ill and letting me know that dinner might have to be postponed. No problem, I completely understood. The message told me to call him at four when he was off work and he would let me know then if dinner was still on. I left a message for him at four and he called back about 10 minutes later. He was feeling much better, so we could still get together around 7:00.
This was great since I had not seen him since I got back to NYC. However, at 6:30 he calls me to let me know that the time would have to be pushed back to 7:30. He doesn’t give an excuse and I don’t ask for one. It was really no big deal. Which would be fine except that at 7:15 just as I’m putting on my coat to leave (the restaurant is just up the street) his boyfriend calls to say it’s going to be 8:00 now. Once again no excuse. Just changing the time.
This completely annoyed me. Luckily I hadn’t left my apartment yet, but still. We agreed on a set time and I planned my schedule accordingly. I know it’s not that big of a deal. But at the time I was completely put out. I agreed to a scheduled time and it’s not that hard to stick with it. Of course I didn’t say anything to them but I was in a bad mood till at least half way through dinner. It finally lifted but I hated that it was issue to begin with.
I’m usually pretty good about just letting it go, but tonight for some reason it just stuck with me. I’m over it now, I’m just sharing with you guys what was going on tonight. I won’t hold it against them, although it’s not the first time they’ve done this. They are nowhere close to being as bad as my friend Arthur in San Diego who is late for everything. One of the last times we went to theatre he showed up at 8:15. The curtain was at 8:00. He had the tickets so I didn’t get to see the show. I had actually already gone when he arrived. I was so angry at the time that it was months before I agreed to do anything with him again. Even now, I schedule our activities with a 30 minute grace period. If he needs to be at dinner at 6:00 I tell him 5:30. I don’t know if he’s caught on, but it’s making it bearable to socialize with him again.
I guess I just need to learn to breathe and let things go. AHHHHHHH!
A Maddog In The City 
That, my dear Maddog, is the point of the blog.
BTW, I’ve been using that same trick on TheHusband for 14.5 years. It took me a few months to catch on about how he was late, for everything.
Gaytime…it sucks! I am like you. I am always on time or early. The thing with jeff is he piddles and that drives me nuts, so I always allow for piddle time and also with other friends, I always set things earlier than I want… just minor adjustments. Sometimes it gets to me, most of the time I take a deep breath and a big sip of a cocktail and be done with it… I understand your frustration though…
I applaud you.
I too am ‘always on time’ and therefore empathize with you. It is hell to be on time when the rest of the world is not.
A pet peeve of mine, too. Funny how they never seem to be late for work so they can be on time if they want…it’s just you (or me it seems) whose time is taken for granted. I’m less forgiving than you. If you can’t respect me and my time, I’ll find someone else to do things with.
Oh, and if you hate things that don’t run on time, don’t fly to Hawaii. It’s the local joke that flights run on “Hawaiian time.”
Like you I am on time, if not early, for my obligations. Poor time management is a pet peeve of mine as well.
Dont’ feel bad. I am the same way. The problem is my partner is the opposite. JUST as we head out hte door he has to got use the bathroom or go get this or that. We are ALWAYS late to things and before he was in my life I was early for everything. It is a sore point in our relationship.
So yea…I have noticed that GAY men tend to ALWAYS be on a last schedule.
I hear you on this one. People now adays are always so pre-occupied with thing they just don’t pay attention to the time.
Actually, I find myself usually being too early for most appointments…I think it’s my OCD rearing it’s ugly head. 🙂
I understand that! And, when you chat with MiKell, the bitch was 10 minutes late this morning. Leaving me stranded on a street corner being treated as eye candy.
I hope you had a great vacation!!
Like you, I HATE being late. When I was a show directoir at a small bar here in Cincy, people would ask me what time the shows started and I would say 11. they would immediately say to me, so that means 11:30 drag time?
I would say. No I mean 11, MY time. I cannot tel the amount of performers I would piss off for starting on time!
I’m not always an early bird, but I’m pretty good about being where I need to be on time. If I’m even going to be 10 min. late due to the crazy Phoenix traffic, I will always call.
You have every right to be upset. I would have been livid at missing the musical!