I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before on my blog but I hate being late. It causes me great stress to know that I am running late for anything. The importance and relevance of the event doesn’t matter. It could be a doctor’s appointment, a movie, a date, school, work. It doesn’t matter. I’m almost always on time. In fact, I’m almost always early. It’s a very rare occasion when I arrive at the scheduled time. It can be kind of embarrassing when it’s a party and I’m there 15 minutes before the start time. More often than not, I sit in the parking lot and way till an appropriate time to “arrive.”
Over the years I’ve come to realize that everyone else is not this way. And with gay men it’s even worse. I’ve had way too many friends to count that couldn’t be on time if there life depended on it. That being said it annoys me when I’m kept waiting. I’m also annoyed when others don’t appreciate that my time is just as valid as theirs.
For example tonight. I was scheduled to have dinner with my friend Sean and his boyfriend. This had been scheduled all week but I received a phone call from Sean this morning letting me know that he was very ill and letting me know that dinner might have to be postponed. No problem, I completely understood. The message told me to call him at four when he was off work and he would let me know then if dinner was still on. I left a message for him at four and he called back about 10 minutes later. He was feeling much better, so we could still get together around 7:00.
This was great since I had not seen him since I got back to NYC. However, at 6:30 he calls me to let me know that the time would have to be pushed back to 7:30. He doesn’t give an excuse and I don’t ask for one. It was really no big deal. Which would be fine except that at 7:15 just as I’m putting on my coat to leave (the restaurant is just up the street) his boyfriend calls to say it’s going to be 8:00 now. Once again no excuse. Just changing the time.
This completely annoyed me. Luckily I hadn’t left my apartment yet, but still. We agreed on a set time and I planned my schedule accordingly. I know it’s not that big of a deal. But at the time I was completely put out. I agreed to a scheduled time and it’s not that hard to stick with it. Of course I didn’t say anything to them but I was in a bad mood till at least half way through dinner. It finally lifted but I hated that it was issue to begin with.
I’m usually pretty good about just letting it go, but tonight for some reason it just stuck with me. I’m over it now, I’m just sharing with you guys what was going on tonight. I won’t hold it against them, although it’s not the first time they’ve done this. They are nowhere close to being as bad as my friend Arthur in San Diego who is late for everything. One of the last times we went to theatre he showed up at 8:15. The curtain was at 8:00. He had the tickets so I didn’t get to see the show. I had actually already gone when he arrived. I was so angry at the time that it was months before I agreed to do anything with him again. Even now, I schedule our activities with a 30 minute grace period. If he needs to be at dinner at 6:00 I tell him 5:30. I don’t know if he’s caught on, but it’s making it bearable to socialize with him again.
I guess I just need to learn to breathe and let things go. AHHHHHHH!