Tired and Cranky, Minnesota — Day 30

It’s late.  I’m feeling anti-social.  I have been all day.  I’m not really in a bad mood, I just don’t want to be around people.  It doesn’t happen very often but when it does I usually just hide at home.  That’s not possible in Oklahoma.  If your light is on, people will knock expecting you to answer.  So I hid tonight.  At the movies.  And wasted time.  And that’s about it.  But it allowed me to be away from everyone here and take a break from all the excitement.  And trust me when I say it’s what I needed.

Today’s was another one of those days.  In the morning, Kelly and I met with the electrics crew, and we made changes to cues that were ugly.  Tonight we ran the show for the first time with orchestra.  The lighting looks pretty good if I don’t say so myself.  There are some moments that are beautiful.  Of course because of the lack of time there are some moments that look like ass.  But what can you do.  Tomorrow we are running through the show in the afternoon, just for lighting.  Then we have a preview tomorrow night.  And open on Saturday.  Soon it will be two down, one to go.

As of today, I’m staying in Oklahoma an extra two weeks.  If you remember last year I was paid extra money to stick around till the end of the season, and the same is happening this year.  I was supposed to go to Kentucky at the end of June but the shows there fell through.  Which was a pain, because it also meant the money fell through.  But with the extra money from here, a little left in savings, and some help from some very generous friends, I’m going to be able to squeak by till August 1 when I start back at the restaurant job.   I don’t know if I’m looking forward to that or dreading it.

Kyle was at it again today.  Kelly got a talking to by “The Director” today about the morale and attitude of the cast and crew.  Seems the lovely Kyle thought it would be a good idea to go to “The Director” and tell him everyone hated him, they weren’t coming back next year, and that they all thought the season sucked.  I’ll be the first to admit there have been problems this year.  And I also know that a lot of them could have been prevented or at least dealt with by “The Director”.  But there is no reason to be mean to him.  Especially during tech.  It only makes the process worse and Kyle doesn’t have to deal with the fallout, Kelly and I do.  We assured “The Director” that all was well and that it was just Kyle being Kyle.  I can only hope that he believes it.

And I think that’s a wrap.  No long story tonight.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Driven Mad! — Day 29

I’ve been talking to Kelly trying to figure out what it is I did at work today.  I mean I know what I did and I can explain it in layman’s terms.  I had my second day of tech.  Tech is where all the technical elements of a show are added.  The lights are cued.  (Turned on and off to determine the look of each scene).  The sound cues are added.  Amplification too, if the show is mic’d.  The scenic elements are added.  Eventually costumes are included in the mix.  And finally, it’s all put together with actors and you have a finished show.  It opens, the reviews are raves, the show runs forever, I never have to work again.

But what does tech really mean?

Consider this.

A Broadway Musical will tech somewhere around a 150 hours.  This doesn’t include previews and continued rehearsals till the show opens.  A regional theatre musical will tech about 100 hours not counting previews and continued rehearsals till it opens.  A straight play (non-musical) will rehearse at least 54 hours.  Not counting previews and rehearsals till it opens.  At the university where I got my MFA we rehearsed each play 26 hours.  And we didn’t do musicals.  The small theatre where I worked, where I met my roommate, rehearsed 20 hours before dress rehearsals started.  And they rarely do musicals.

And what’s the point of all of this.

For the show I’m currently teching, I got 7 hours of tech before we add the orchestra.  And the last 3 hours of the 8 weren’t teching, they were a full run of the show with costumes.  No stopping.  No fixing.  I took about 15 pages of notes tonight.

And to put all of this in perspective.  There are 79 pages in the libretto.  It’s running time is about 100 minutes (which is way too long for one act, but no one asked me).  There are 17 songs in the show.  (That’s a new song every six minutes).  And in the approximately 100 minutes of the play as of right now there are approximately 200 light cues (2 light cues for every minute of the play, and trust me when I say it doesn’t break down that way.  In the first four minutes of the show, while the overture is playing there are about 25 light cues.)

And so, if we do the math, in the four rehearsal that were actually considered tech time, I wrote a light cue every 1.2 minutes.  I have close to 350 lights in the air.  And I have to consider what lights turn on and off for each scene.  I have to be able to light every actor on the stage, no matter where they stand, and yet still maintain an artistic vision for the show.  The set doesn’t change so I have to take us from a city square in Spain, to a cathedral, to a garden, to a castle, to the jungle, to a deserted island, to the deck of a ship, and about 50 other places.  All with light.  The costumes don’t change either.  And I have to do this without the ability to stop.  The director likes to keep things going.  I stop only when I have to.

And so I take a deep breath and I start.

And no one can keep up with me.

I shout out numbers to my board op.

Fast.

These lights up.  Those lights out.  This group at full.  That group at 75%.  No 65%.  No 45%.  No back to 75%.  Channel 99 at full.  Spot one, you are on Brian down right.  No the other down right.  I SAID Brian.  Channel 100 at full.  Spot 2 you are on Ron.  Stay with him.  Tighten up.  No tighter, I only want to see his face.  I want the cyc on at blue (this is actually a series of numbers as well).  Group 76 at full.  Change their color to pink.  No the other pink.  No I liked the first pink better.  Okay, maybe not.  Sorry Kelly, can Jay move downstage about 9 inches.  If he can then I can light him better and it will look nicer.  Thanks.  Okay.  Record that as cue 52.

If you stop reading now, and reread the previous paragraph and start your stop watch, it takes about 33 seconds to read.  And that’s just to read it.  In the extra 34 seconds or so that I have left, I have to pay attention to what’s happening, remember where people are, actually think about what I want the scene to look like, actually look at my magic sheet (a cheat sheet that tells me what numbers turn on what lights) try to get the numbers out without twisting my tongue, speak fast enough to get the cues written, but speak slow enough that the board op can keep up with me,  try to blink and take a look at the stage before I record the cue and then and only then say “Record that as cue 52.  Time 4 seconds.

And then I move on.  When I cue I cue using only even numbers.  This allows me to insert numbers later without having to use (point) cues. (ex.  Cue 63.4)  Point cues are harder for a stage manager to call.  And as of tonight when I left the theatre I have about 340 cues by the even number method, and a crap load of cues that fill in the holes and even more cues that are point cues.  (I have to keep these cue numbers straight to.  Screw up and record cue 178 as cue 78 and suddenly somewhere in your past is the cue for the last song of the act).

And I don’t stop to tell Kelly, who actually calls these cues and makes them happen, where I want them, where the cue goes or what it does.  I record the cue and move on.  She sits on the chair next to me listening as I call out numbers, and she guesses as to where the go.  I try to mark them in the libretto as I go, but as I move faster and faster I become less thorough about doing so.  This makes it hard to go back and tell Kelly where the cues go.  Which is kind of important if she misses a cue or gets it in the wrong place.  As I speak Kelly also has to figure out which spot is on, who it’s spotting, and what cue it was turned on in, so she can warn the spots as to where to be during the show.  I don’t stop to tell her this either.  Sometimes I don’t even tell the spot ops who they are on.

And I move on.

And on.

And on.

And about three minutes after starting Kelly calls for a break.  Ten minutes please.  Fuck.   Where did the last two hours go?  And I only got through 15 pages.  Fuck.  And in about three minutes the break is over and I’m off again.  And two minutes later, I’m asked to turn the house and work lights on and gather down front for notes.  And I’m only through page 50 and there’s 25 pages more to go and that’s the end of tech.  Fuck.

And that was my day today.  As I was saying, I was talking to Kelly about how to explain what I do.  I basically sit down at my tech table and she fires the starting gun.  And I sprint, and sprint, and sprint, and sprint, and sprint.  Then she waves the flag and I get to go pee, get a drink and tie my shoes.  And then she fires the gun again and I start, and sprint, and sprint, and sprint.  And way too soon she waves the flag again and my time is done.

And I pray that I’ve gotten through at least most of my list.

If I haven’t then I have to do what I’m doing tomorrow.  I go in with my crew and I cue blindly.  This means that I turn the lights on and off without actors on the stage and try to guess at what the show will look like when we add the talent.  This is difficult to say the least.  Try doing your job with the part everyone sees is missing.  But I’ll do it and then as I like to say, “I’ll hope for the best.”

And because this tech process here is so stressful I have to make a couple of speeches before we start.  These rules/guidelines are for the crew, stage management, and “The Director”.  I start by apologizing to the crew.  I assure them that no matter what I say I don’t mean it personally.  I will become frustrated and snap at them, I will push them to go faster, and I sometimes yell at them.  And I always apologize at the end, and buy them a beer.  It’s never personal.  Then I will say to them, don’t talk on headset while I’m working.  Don’t ask questions.  Don’t make jokes.  Just do your job.  Don’t stand behind me while I’m working.  And especially don’t stand behind me and talk while I’m working.  I promise when I turn around you won’t like it.  Don’t sit in my row.  I want to be able to get up and go at a moment’s notice and I don’t want to have to wait for you or step over you.  Do not stop me half way through a cue to see if this is what it’s going to look.  I promise you it’s not.  I want a place holder so that I can finesse later when I have two seconds to actually look at the stage and see what it looks like.  Do not stop me to ask if I like the costumes, with about 100% certainty, I can assure you, that if the actors were on stage naked, I would not have noticed.  Don’t make me slow down to explain the details of a cue.  Take a note, we’ll discuss it later.  Do NOT come down to my row to ask me a question and knock over my Diet Coke which is sitting on the floor, to my left, beside me.  I stopped rehearsal last year till they sent someone to get me another.  Follow these rules and maybe, just maybe, I’ll have the show cued before we open.

And still I cue.

And I cue.

And I cue.

And now it’s 3:07 a.m. and my heart is still racing.  And usually writing my post helps me wind down, but not tonight.  I find myself typing at the same frenzy that I’ve worked at all night.

And I type.

And I type.

And now you know why there is bourbon at the end of my night.  And today between rehearsals.  I have to stop my brain.  I have to shut it off.  If I don’t then I hit a wall and am unable to figure out what comes next.  And at this time of the night, I’ll find myself tossing and turning unable to sleep.

And I think.

And I think.

And I think.

And I think.

And I thin.

And with any luck…

I’ll sleep.

And sleep.

And sleep.

And sleep.

And sleep.

And sleep.

Slaughter, Louisiana — Day 28

I’m not nearly as annoyed tonight as I was last night.  Nor angry for the matter.

For the past couple of days I’ve been in a mood.  For the most part I’m not sure anyone could really tell.  I learned a long time ago how to pretend to be happier than I really am.  If I hadn’t, I would have had to curl up in the fetal position and cry nonstop.  So I smile a lot and say the right things and all is well, at least on the outside.

So that was first issue.

The second issue is Kyle.  You might remember me telling you that one of the actors that we hang out with had gone to “The Director” and told him what we were up to and everything we said.  This was at dinner when we were avoiding “The Director” and they seemed to be siding with us.  Little did we know that it was Kyle playing both sides of the fence.  We’d probably never have known this if “The Director” hadn’t confronted Kelly about what was going on, making it perfectly clear who spilled the beans.

I’m a fairly forgiving person.  I may pout for a few hours and when no one’s around throw a tantrum, but for the most part I can deal with the situation.  However, and this is the part that’s important, once I’m done with someone, I’m done with them forever.  And with Kyle, I’m done with him forever.  And it’s not just because he has a couple of faces.  It’s because he’s not as funny as he thinks he is and because half the things that come out of his mouth are bigoted and racist.

For example the scenic artist for out season is black.  A beautiful painting that he created was finally used today and everyone was congratulating him on his work.  Kyle in his usual inappropriate manner says, “Yo better thank my people for lettin’ yo people use yo hands to create art.”  I’m sure if confronted he’d say he was joking.  But how many people do you know that make these kinds of jokes?  Everyday.  I don’t know if I’ve ever used the word “negro” in a sentence.  But Kyle can use it, define it, and even tell you how to spell it.  And he does it every time he gets the chance.  And the worst part is that his use of the word “negro” is very close in pronunciation of the word “nigga”.  And I find that offensive.  No matter how it’s used.

And the last reason, and for me the most exhausting reason that I’m done with him, is that it takes way tooooo much energy to be around him.  If any of you have ever been in the arts, especially theatre then you probably know the actor that’s always on.  He/She has to be in the spotlight in every situation.  My old roommate Jay was like this and I can’t tell you how glad I was to move out when it finally happened.  He was on when it was just the two of us, and his “onness” grew exponentially with each person that entered the room.  To the point that at parties I just wanted to punch him.  And this is the case with Kyle.  He’s always on.  Everything has to be a punch line, or a joke, or a gimmick, or something to draw your attention to him.  On Friday night everyone was singing around the piano in the living room.  It’s what musical theatre actors do.  Unfortunately Kyle walked in and the entire event became about Kyle singing louder than everyone else, singing words that were different to make people laugh, and pouncing all over the living room.  And with in a song or two, the books were put away and people left to do other things.

At rehearsal it’s even worse.  The minute Kyle walks on stage everything is about him.  I know “The Director” should reign his in, but they are friends and I don’t think he knows how.  Seriously, I’ve seen Kyle upstage the love ballad happening downstage because of his antics.  He brought rehearsal to a stop tonight because of the way he carried a piece of fabric off stage.  There is a scene in the beginning of the show, that has become so out of hand that it makes everyone in the theatre uncomfortable for the woman that is sharing the stage with him.  When he makes his first entrance for the show we just opened, I don’t know if he could be any gayer, and the play isn’t about gay people.  It’s about pirates.  Seriously, get a fucking clue.  The electrics crew has joked about finding a spotlight just for Kyle since the whole play seems to be about him anyway.

So I’m done with him.  I just don’t have the energy to pretend anymore.  And it’s impossible to be around him and not have to spend energy.  He’s that draining.  And life is too stressful and too demanding to spend time with people you don’t like.  So I’ve decided to stop spending time with him.  I just have no interest in it.  I don’t want to have drinks with him.  I don’t want to go out to eat with him.  I don’t want him to stop by my room.  I don’t want to be around him.  I want him to steer clear of me and leave me a lone.

And the reason this is important is because my fuse is getting shorter and shorter and I’m about to the point where I’m going to tell him exactly what I think.  I’m going to explain that racism in any form is inappropriate.  The treating anyone less than you is not a good idea.  That making disparaging remarks about people who are from poorer backgrounds than you isn’t funny nor nice.  Especially since you graduated from an exclusive private high school and drive a car that your parents bought for you.  And to my knowledge have never worked a day in your life except to be a bad actor in summer stock.  Don’t assume that everyone finds you funny.  Because we don’t.

And while we are at it.

You ARE the WORST actor on the stage.  The first thing you need to learn as an actor is that every scene is not about you.  In fact most scenes won’t be about you, sometimes even if you are the lead.  You have to be able to fade into the background and let others have the spotlight.  And if you can’t, then be a stand up comedian, or a magician, or a mime, but don’t be an actor.  And just for the record, only people who have had crappy action teachers spend time trying to figure out their animal character for each scene.  And although everyone considers their back story when creating a role, if the back story isn’t even a part of the play then perhaps you might ask your acting teacher exactly what they meant.  Because it should support the play not fight against it.  There is no need for “gay party planner, who has organized the party, blown up the balloons, and is part of the internet porn acquisitions team for the company in a play about pirates.  I’m going to go out on a limb and promise you there is no place for this character.

And this is what I want to tell Kyle, as I punch him in the face and then repeatedly kick him in the stomach after he falls to the ground.  And then laugh and point at him as he rolls around in pain.  And then and only then I’ll push him into the pit where he’ll land on the pointy part of the drum driving it into his chest leaving him writhing in pain.

Does anyone else think I might need anger management classes?

And so what does this have to do with last night.  Kyle invited himself along for dinner.  And Kelly is incapable of lying so she couldn’t make an excuse as to why he couldn’t go.  And then while I’m at my computer reading messages IM’s me to say, “I hope you are not mad at me.”

And I knew what was happening before I even blinked.  To which I replied, “Tell me he’s not going.”

To which she replied, “Sorry.”

To which I replied, “Then I’m not.”

And I was annoyed.  Mostly at Kyle.  But a little at Kelly for not being able to lie and get us out of this.   Not that I really expect her to.  She was afraid I was mad at her, but I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at the situation.  It was 12:15 and we’d put off dinner till after we were both finished with our work for the evening.  And so now it’s late, and I haven’t eaten and now I’m not going out with her and that left me the option of Wendy’s or Taco Bell.  Not exactly what I wanted.  And I just didn’t have the energy to pretend, and be around him for an hour or so.  So I didn’t go.  I went to Wendy’s instead.  And ate and went to bed early.

And was angry.

And annoyed.

And pissed.

And to tell the truth I’m still a little annoyed.  And I’d still like to punch him in the gut.  But I’m going to go call and see about those anger management classes.

Slaughter, Louisiana. Population 1,011 people.  This time only 94.5% white.

Pissed Off, Oklahoma — Day 27

I’m too annoyed to write tonight.  I’d probably just rant and rave and bitch non-stop.  And I don’t know that would do any of us any good.  So I’ll leave you with this.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed.

I’m annoyed

I’m annoyed.

Friendly, West Virginia — Day 27

I’ve been collecting meme’s over the past several months that I see around on the internet and then when I have trouble finding something to write about I pull one out of the bag.

Today it’s not that I don’t have anything to write about.  As always there’s something.  But I feel like I’ve spent the last three weeks bitching about everything, and so I thought it might be nice to take a day off from bitching and have a chat about other things.

And so without further ado.

A Monday Meme

In general, how are you feeling on this Monday?
I’m glad it’s my day off and I don’t really have anything to do.  It will allow me to get prepped for the stress that is this week.

First person you spoke to today?
Kelly, she came into to see what I was doing.  And I was in bed.  And it was 5:45.  P.M.  Whoops.  I set my alarm at 12:30 and for the life of me couldn’t think of a reason to get out of bed, so I rolled over and went back to sleep.

First song you listened to today?  It was Circle of Life from the Lion King, which was the opening number from the Tony’s.

What clothes are you wearing today? - Full details please!
I started out in a pair of boxer, then I showered and put on a pair of blue shorts and a black t-shirt.  And then I changed the t-shirt and put on a short sleeve shirt that is yellow.

What kind of ‘hair day’ are you having?
Everyday right now is a bad hair day.  It’s too short to do anything with it, and too long to ignore.  I’ve been debating whether I should get it cut or let it grow.  Any suggestions?  It’s been about seven weeks since I got it cut.

What is the weather like today?
HOT!!!!  And now we are having another one of those wonderful Oklahoma thunderstorms

Highlight of today so far?
Watching the Tony’s with Kelly although once again they were kind of boring and the show kept being interrupted to tell us about the approaching bad weather.

Lowlight of today so far?
Going to the movies.

Highlight of the past weekend?
The first show here opened and it was not the disaster that I thought it would be.  Now I only have two mores.

Lowlight of the past weekend?

It wasn’t a horrible weekend.  For the most part it was fine.

Amount of money spent over the past weekend with details of expenditure!
including Friday night?
In all I’ve spent about 40 bucks this weekend.  Most of that was being taken out for drinks by “The Director” last night with the entire company only to be told when the check came that it wasn’t on him

What are you most looking forward to this week?
Opening show #2.  I don’t have an idea of what I’m going to do with it.  Keep your fingers crossed and hope it goes well.

Friendly, West Virginia seemed a nice place to visit since I wasn’t bitching today.  It has a population of 159 and is 100% white.  I’ve actually never visited a place that was 100% white.  I’m not sure that I’d want to.  And the median income of males in the community is 37,500 versus 15,000 for females.  I’m not sure what twisted time warp place I’ve landed in but it seem to exist some alternate time and space.  If you don’t hear from me again you’ll know that I’ve been kidnapped and am being examined by the aliens that make up this town.

Moonlight, Kansas — Day 26

Show number 1 opened tonight.  I thought it went well.  The actors seemed to be on and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  The stage manager did an okay job.  She still didn’t give the board op any warnings but at least she told the spot ops what they were supposed to do.  Of course she did miss the most important cue in the show.  It’s a cue that’s timed musically so that during the last phrase of the song the lights fade to moonlight hitting the couple on the floor and their faces are lit by a very tight follow spot.  I think the lighting is quite beautiful.   During this cue the lovers kiss and just as they end their kiss the spot light fades and they have a moment in the moonlight before the scene resumes.  So tonight the stage manager called the cue to kill the spotlight before the kiss, so absolutely no one in the theatre saw the kiss.  I was sitting in the booth wanting to kill her.  And the best part…she didn’t even know she had called it wrong.  Not once has she ever looked at the stage to see what the cues are doing.

I got to theatre tonight around 7:45 and went backstage to get a Diet Coke before I went to sit in the light booth for the show.  Last year I tried sitting in the audience for openings but I always got stuck next to “The Director” and that’s an experience I don’t care to repeat.  Now I use the excuse that I’m still tweaking things so I have to sit in the booth.  He never seems to question this.  So trust me I use it a lot.  After I got my Diet Coke I had Kelly use her special key to get me into the lobby of the theatre without having to walk 20 miles out of my way.  Just as she was about to close the door and relock it she turns to me and says, “I certainly hope that I can live up to all the praise you were throwing at me in your last post.”  I’m not always sure she realizes how good she is at her job.

After the show I went back stage to say hello to everyone and to congratulate the actors.  Just as I walked out of the door someone yelled, “Hey look, it’s Maddog.”  And then everyone started cheering me and congratulating me on how the lights looked and more importantly I made the actors look.  And right behind   me was the costume designer, Ashley The Cunt”  and someone yelled, “Hey look it’s the costume designer.”  And no one clapped.  In fact I don’t even think they even acknowledged her.  I didn’t realize this had happened until I was told about it by five different people later.  I have to admit that I loved every minute of it.  All the actors tonight were talking about how bad the costumes looked.  But what can you do?  I told “The Director” to fire her ass about five weeks ago, and did he listen?  Hell no!  He deserves what he gets.

And now it’s 4:15 and I’m still awake.  I’ve only had a couple of beers, but there were four or five people sitting in the living room chatting and laughing.  It was fun but now I’m ready to be asleep.

Here’s a photo one of the parents of a girl that’s in the show took a couple of nights ago.  It isn’t framed very well, but it “kind” of captures what I was trying to do.  There will be more pictures and I’ll post them as I get them.

Can’t find any information about Moonlight, Kansas but I thought it was appropriate to spend the night there tonight with the picture and all.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

A Preview — Paradox, Colorado — Day 25

And so we had an audience tonight.  And it was a packed house.  And for the most part the show went okay.  And the audience applauded in all the right places.  And there were a couple of moments they found really funny.  And the actors were all where they were supposed to be, even if they were drawing attention to themselves when they shouldn’t.  And the crew for the most part was spot on.

For the most part.

I guess the thing that gives me pause is the Stage Manager.  She’s the assistant to Kelly.  She’s being allowed to call the first show because there is less that happens in this show and it was a way to let her get experience.  This occurred last year and it was not all that successful.  And well, this year I’m not so sure it’s a good idea either.

She’s okay.  And she’s nice and all.  But I don’t really think she gets what a stage manager’s role is once the production is in tech and then open.  She has some really strange ideas of how to do things that kind of perplex me.

First of all, she doesn’t give any warnings or stand-bys.  She just calls the cue.  And for the most part this works.  For the most part.  But since the light board op was not told that a cue was coming his finger might not be poised on the “GO” button to take the cue when it’s supposed go.  In the world of stage management there are a set of standards that for the most part are followed by everyone.  Of course every one has their way of doing things but some things are just a given.  For example:  About 30 seconds before a cue is called, whether it’s a sound cue, light cue, fly cue, projection cue there is a warning or stand by given.  Like such.

Standby Light Q 105, Sound Q 23, Spot 1 to pick up Mabel down center, Spot 2 to pick up Freddie down left, And for the panels to open on a 12 count to position 1.

After this is said, everyone responds by saying, “Lights”, “Sound”, “Spot 1″, “Spot 2″, and “Panels”.

This lets the stage manager know that her standby has been heard by everyone and they are ready for the cue.

About 30 seconds or less later the stage manager will say

“Lights 105, sound 23, And panels…go”

And what would you know, it all happens as it should.

But the person calling show #1 doesn’t do the standby thing.  She just calls the cue.  And you just have to hope that everyone is ready when she calls it.  If not, then too bad.  They should have been ready.  She’s not really an ass about it, but there really should be warnings.  It lets everyone know what the next thing they need to do is.  There were a number of times that the cues were late because the board op either didn’t hear her, or wasn’t ready when she said go.  And for a lighting designer it’s the worst thing ever because you trust this person to call the cues where the go because the look of your show depends on it.

The other thing this stage manager does is call the cue exactly where I say to call it.  When I said this to Kelly she almost fell on the floor laughing.  And before you get all confused, yes she’s supposed to call it where I say to call it.  But there’s more to it than that.  As a lighting designer we talk about cues landing.  Does the change in the lighting happen as the music builds or is it a quick cue that signifies the end of the song (called a button cue).  Is it a cue that changes the lighting as someone walks across the stage or as they enter.  And because theatre is a living breathing creature you can’t just say the cue goes on the sentence, “Get your ass out of here.”  You can’t just say the cue goes as the girl steps off the platform.  You can’t just say the cue goes on the button of the song.  And you can’t just say the cue goes with the music.

You must feel these things.  You must know exactly what the cue does.  You must know what the intent of the designer is.  You must understand how fast the cue is and how long it takes to complete.  You must understand that the spot has to be on AS the person enters.  Not after the person enters.  You must know that spot has to go out AS the person exits not after the person has exited.  You have to know that the spot has to swap from one character to another as they pass each other.

And I can’t stop to talk about each cue.  I tell you where it’s called and I assume that you’ll do your homework and figure it out.  If you are unsure then ask me after the rehearsal where Q95 goes.  But you HAVE to be able to look at what I’m doing and know what I want from the cue.  So if the cue is called as the girl steps off the platform the thing you have to know is:  Does the cue need to be complete as the girl steps off the platform?  Is it building a light she walks into?  Is it taking a light out as she walks away?  Is it drawing attention to the girl or drawing the attention away from her?

And believe it or not, all of those questions above can change where the cue is called that I say to call “As the girl steps off the platform.”  If the cue needs to be complete as the girl steps off the platform then you must call it before she gets there.  If the cue is building light for her downstage then the question is “Does it build as she walks?”  If it’s taking a light away then don’t call the cue until she’s finished speaking and the action is no longer about her.  If it’s about someone else on the other side of the stage you have to make sure the cue is called so that the light comes up and goes out on the exact moment or it will look weird.

There are a million examples and all I said was call the cue as the girl walks off the platform.  In a musical it’s even worse.  Does the cue go on the downbeat of the conductor’s baton.  Is it a cue on every 7th beat ina counts of 8?  Is it a cue that brings up a light for the solo but also has to happen within the context of the musical.

By now you get what I’m saying.  So the stage manager calls the cues exactly where I say to call them.  Which is why she took the follow spot out on someone who was talking because the cue to take it out is actually called as someone else walks downstage.  The person walking was early and unfortunately the stage manager didn’t adjust and so the girl who was talking was no longer in a follow spot.  There were a number of cues that were supposed to land (I think I might have skipped over exactly what this means which is where the majority of the cue is complete enough to have made the impact you were looking for) as someone walks across the stage.  But instead of bring up light as they walked, she let them walk into the dark and then brought up the light.  Every follow spot cue was late because she waited till the last moment to call the cue because all I said was this cue brings up Ruth’s follow spot.  But what that means is moments before Ruth appears the cue has to be called so that the spot is coming up as she enters.

And so for me it was a long night.  I wanted the show to look as great as it could, but I felt like the stage manager was working against me.  There were a couple of times tonight that I just called the cue myself because it was clear that it was going to be late.  I could do that tonight because it was a preview and technically I can still make changes.  However, tomorrow it’s a different story.  Tomorrow the show is her’s for better or for worse.  And all I can do is sit in the audience and cringe every time a cue is late or early or “Doesn’t land where I want it to.”

On a good note.  For the next two shows I get Kelly and based on my experience last year I won’t have that problem on the next two shows.  She really is the best stage manager I’ve ever worked with.  She gets the rehearsal side of the job and the organizational part of the job and for me she gets the most important part of the show, the calling of the cues.  And so I know what ever I design in the next two weeks will be called as I want it.

Paradox, Colorado. Population 245.  It’s another conservative white community.  I need to start traveling to nicer places.

Celebration, Florida — June 9th 2006 — Day 24

On June 12, 2007, I wrote a post about how I’d forgotten that the anniversary of my blog was June 9, 2006. Exactly one year later, on June 12, 2008 I realized that I had once again forgotten the anniversary of my blog.

So without further ado. Let the parties begin.

And the presents.

And the fun.

And the.

And.

Okay, I’ll just celebrate by myself.

But while I’m celebrating, here’s the recap of my first post.
June 9, 2006

So I wanted my first post to be funny and witty. I wanted it to be full of insightful observations. I wanted it to be…well you get the point. So instead it’s 3:30am and since I can’t sleep I have decided what better way to start my blog than writing something at some ungodly hour in the am.

So I am Maddog. Well not really. It’s actually a nickname that was given to me years ago while I was attending the University of Kentucky. I saw a co-worker at McDonalds and she called me Maddog. I had never been called this before, and had no idea why she called me that then. But my friends heard it and it stuck. I became Maddog to everyone who knew me. This was in 1990. No one calls me that anymore. I have grown up and become Jeff. Well actually I have been called many things but most of my friends call me Jeff. But for the sake of this blog I’ll be Maddog.

And Maddog is moving to the big city. As of July 1st, I’ll be an official resident of New York City. Again. Not that this is a bad thing. I love the city. It’s home. It’s just that I have been away for three years and a lot has changed. I am no longer in a relationship. I have failed to stay in touch with most of my friends there. I have gained 70 pounds. I have finished grad school. I am poor. I have no job. And so it’s scary, in a good way.

When I get there I’ll have enough money to last me about three months. This gives me a little bit of a cushion to find work. But not much of one. It won’t allow me to be lazy until the money is gone. So the minute I get there I’ll be pounding the pavement looking for work.

What kind of work you ask? I am a lighting designer. I have just finished one of the best theatre design programs in the country and now am about to prove my professor wrong and begin making a living doing commercial theatre. At least that’s what I hope happens. Who knows? In five years I’ll be the manager of the TGI Friday’s in Time Square. You know it’s the largest TGI Fridays in the world. At least that’s what the sign says.

So you guys all get to take this journey with me. I’ll be documenting my search for work, love, happiness and fulfillment in the city. So stay tuned for all the fun that goes with moving cross country and resuming my career.

WOW. It’s really amazing to look back and see what I wrote two years ago. I had just come back from a trip to NYC where I crashed on the couch of my now roommate Chuck. Who knew then that we’d grow to be such good friends. I don’t think either of us would have guessed that we would get along so well. He hadn’t had a roommate since 1902 back when he was in college, and I hadn’t had a good roommate experience in say about 10 years. I’m thankful that worked out.

I also think it’s interesting that I’ve landed back in the restaurant world. And it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. And I make a living doing that. And for the most part things are good.

And who would have thought that I’d have spent the following two summers in FUCKING Oklahoma designing musicals for a neurotic director and a exciting host of other characters. I also wouldn’t have guessed that I’d have become such good friends with the stage manager. She is the only source of sanity in the world that I’ve been plunged into here.

And who would have known two years ago that I would create relationships with lots of people that I’ve never seen in person. There are many people that I love knowing are out there and reading my blog. There are many people whose blogs I never miss reading even if I have to go back several days to see what they were up to. I get excited still when I get comments, because I was convinced it didn’t matter what I wrote since no one would ever read it.

I’m also amazed at some of the things I wrote when I first started this thing. I was much more open then, when I didn’t know people were reading. I wrote an entire post about giving head. I know, I know. Too much information. But it’s what interested me when I did it. If you want to read it, I sure won’t make you search for it.   Just click the link.

And I guess the biggest realization is that my life for the most part is okay. I think I now have a great small group of friends that I care about and I think they care about me. I talk to them on a regular basis and I miss them when I don’t. I have a job, that’s great when my ankle isn’t broken. I get to do theatre several times a year and even though it’s stressful, it’s still a lot of fun. (I’ll explain why tomorrow). For the most part I’m healty, although I need to lose about 300 pounds. In a post a little after I started I stated that I’d come to the realization that my life wasn’t funny. It was quite ordinary. I don’t know how I felt about that then. I know how I feel about it now. I like it. I like that I sit home with Chuck on Saturday night’s watching Law & Order SVU marathons on USA. I like having the most exciting thing that happens to me in the week being that I didn’t have to wait 20 minutes for the subway a the end of the day. I like that there are people out there who think I’m good enough at my job to want to fire me to design. I have money in the bank, a great apartment, and life is good. What more could a Maddog want.

And for the record Celebration, Florida is a community created by the wonderful people at Disney. It’s current population is 3, 745. It’s a mostly rich white community because we all know that only rich white people can be the Happiest People on Earth, while living in the community that’s the Happiest Place on Earth. After reading about it, it seems more like the Scariest Place on Earth. A little Stepford Wives for me.

I was trying to find a good image of it, but I found this on the second page of my internet search and I thought it was better than a photo of a house. Wouldn’t we all like to run around pulling on things attached to boys. I’m just saying.

I also found this image on Google Image Search

Maybe it’s not such a bad place after all.

Quicksand, Kentucky — Day 23

So I just got out of another glorious meeting with “The Director”, Kelly, the tech director and the assistant stage manager.  Anyone want to guess what we were discussing?

Anyone?

Let me give you a clue.  Tonight’s rehearsal was a “DRESS” rehearsal.

And what does that mean?

You got it.  We get costumes.  And guess what.  They sucked.  Ass.  Big Time.  Like nobodies business.  So much so that we all met tonight to see what could be done to salvage the look of the show.

I personally suggested Kelly do them since she already has the titles of:

Production Stage Manger

Production Manager (They are not the same)

Co-Set Designer

Stage Manager (there is a difference)

Production Assistant

Company Manager

Assistant Prop Master

Electrician

Painter

Assistant Director

Mom

Grown-up

Drinking Buddy

Friend.

The last two are why I like her the most.  So really would it be so far fetched to give her the title of Costume Designer as well?  Trust me she could do a better job, if she were color blind, and the sense of a fifth grader.

The thing that gets me, is that this woman, the costume designer, who was also the set designer until about 10 days ago teaches at the local university.  She is responsible for teaching young people how to create art.  She’s also responsible for setting an example as a theatre professional.  How is it some one is so utterly incompetent and stupid able to get a teaching job.  Really.  What scares me is that in three years they’ll give her tenure and then for the next 25 years she’ll be teaching unsuspecting students to be as stupid as she is.

I said weeks ago that if she turned in her design that she created for this show, in any design class in the country she would receive a failing grade.  The concepts were there, but there was no follow through.  She had ideas that were completely out of the scope of the size of our shows, both with budget and size.  The costumes are the same.  You can see an idea there.  But that’s where it stops.  Actually, if “The Director” had not told me what the conceptual ideas behind the costumes were I’d have no idea what she was trying to do.

And so I sat in this meeting.  Laughing to myself.  Thinking, “You should have fired her ass.  Three weeks ago!!!”  But instead of saying it, I tried to think of ways to make them better.  I did say that “The Director” was going to have to be forth right in his approach to her.  He couldn’t be a pussy about this  He needed to call her in the a.m. and tell her everything he was saying to us tonight.  And his response?  He had Kelly take notes and then told her to email them to (I forgot she had a name on here) “The Cunt.”  In no way is this Kelly’s responsibility, but she’s too nice to say no.

I have two more points to make then it’s off to bed.

First, I think he should just accept that the costumes are going to be bad for the show that opens this Saturday.  Instead I think he should concentrate on the following two shows.  They are the shows we all care about the most and that are the most interesting to everyone involved.  But he’s assured us that come next Wednesday, those costumes will be just fine.  Because he’s been in the costume shop and seen them and they look beautiful.  And I replied by saying that while he was in the costume shop he also saw the costumes he’s complaining about and they were NOT beautiful.  They sucked.  And just because the fabric is pretty doesn’t mean that it fits the actor well, or the silhouette is nice, or they are appropriate for the show.  Nope it doesn’t mean that.  So next Wednesday I predict my post will be about how sucky the costumes were for show #2.

And my final point.  “The Director” is so overwhelmed by how bad the costumes are that he hasn’t even noticed the lighting.  This is a good thing and a bad thing.  It’s good because I can make the choices I want and it will be my vision, not his.  It’s a bad thing because I can make the choices I want and it will be my vision, not his.  Yeap, it’s a catch 22.  It’s nice to not be micromanaged, but it’s also nice to get some feedback.  Yes, it is.  I can say this.  When the first cue of Act 2 coming out of the blackout came up, there was a gasp from the audience and “The Director” said, “Oh my god, that’s beautiful.” And what’s really nice is that it looked exactly like it did in my head.

But my favorite part of the evening was when “The Director” pulled me aside and told me that I was going to have to recue all of act 1 because if the costumes were going to be this ugly, then he didn’t want to see them.

How much funnier can you get?

I think “The Cunt” must have been born in Quicksand, Kentucky. Because she keeps finding herself in over her head with no way out.

There is not information about Quicksand, Kentucky other than it’s in Kentucky and it’s named because it’s along the Quicksand Creek.

Last Chance, Colorado — Day 22

The following comment was left on my blog today concerning last night’s post.

I think Bill has figured it all out

“Maddog is really an inmate at an asylum for the incurably mad (hence his name).  The Director is the benevolent doctor who tries to coax him into therapy sessions.  The theater is the cafeteria, and Maddog strings “lights” made from styrofoam cups along the ceiling for each “show” he is working on.  The “movies” he attends are shock treatments.  He posts in the wee hours because the third shift attendant sleeps at night and Maddog can commandeer the computer at the nurses’ station.  Ah ha!”

This may explain a lot of things.

Can someone PLEASE help me escape.

At night they put me in solitary confinement and won’t let me out.  The bedding is covered in plastic as are the pillows (I’m not kidding).  The pillow cases won’t stay on the pillows because they are covered in plastic.  They ration my Diet Coke intake and use it as punishment when I misbehave.  Which is often.  I’m only allowed to use the computer because I trade “favors” with the night guard.  Luckily he looks like Ryan Reynolds.

If I could only get him to take me out of here.  I’d give him just about anything he wants.

The meals here consist of food that is not fit for consumption and is brought in to us from the outside.  We are given about 20 seconds to eat before they put us back on work detail.  They made me work from 8:00 a.m. today till 2:15 a.m.  These are unlawful working conditions but if we complain we are told we are being disloyal and are threatened with punishment.

This is what I looked like tonight after this thing they call rehearsal.

I’m terrified that tomorrow will bring more of the same.  The one saving grace is that I’ve made a friend in here.  Her name is Kelly and she helps me get through the day.  Of course sometimes they treat her worse than me, even though I beg them not to.  Today she was yelled at for avoiding “The Doctor” when he called for an appointment yesterday.  He felt that she was being unreasonable and called her out on it.  She begged his forgiveness and told him she would never do it again.  She warned me that I might get the same treatment, but for some reason I think “The Doctor” is scared of me.  For good reason probably.

We discover that one of our fellow patients is not trustworthy.  Seems he’s been telling “The Doctor” everything we say in private.  We don’t know why.  He’s now on our list of people to avoid.  This is the reason my friend Kelly got yelled at today.  This so called friend was stirring up the pot so to speak.  I think I may have to see if I can get him in for a little electric shock therapy.

I have to go now.  I hear the cleaning crew coming down the hall.  They don’t like it when we are out of our cells.

Please

I have to…