Countdown to Doctor — 4 days.

Today was a much better day.  I realized today what the problem has been when I’ve been so miserable.

First I don’t sleep well.

On Friday night I couldn’t sleep at all.  I turned off the light at around 3:00 a.m.  At 6:30 I was still waiting to fall asleep.  Finally I said what the fuck and got up.  I was still sitting at my computer when my roommate got up around 7:30 or so.  I still wasn’t sleepy.  We got comfortable in the living room and chatted for an hour or so.  At around 8:30 or so I finally gave up and went back to bed.  I probably fell asleep around 9:00 a.m.  And slept soundly till around 1:30.  I got a phone call that I had to take, which required me to get out of bed and send an email.  I immediately went back to bed and fell asleep, and what seemed like minutes later some sort of political parade went down my street.  And this continued for I think 12 hours.  I kept waking up and it was still going on.  I finally got up around 6:00 p.m.,  and I was anything but rested.  And I started my day tired at 6:00 p.m.

And second, I don’t shower.  It’s such a pain in my ass to get in the shower/bath.  I have to get the foot condom on, and hobble to the shower.  Undressing is it’s own challenge because I have trouble getting my jeans/pants off and on over my cast.  And then the fun part.  Getting into the tub/shower.  I have to sit on the toilet and then put my my good foot in the shower.  Then I have to hoist myself into the tub without putting any weight on my broken ankle.  This is made more difficult because our tub is shorter than a normal tub and the part against the wall doesn’t have an edge it’s flat with the tile.  So getting in without falling is a bit of a trick.  The first time I tried this I slipped, and landed on the broken ankle and spent the next five minutes sitting on the side of the tub with my ankle throbbing.  Since then I’ve done this with major trepidation and thus I don’t do it everyday.

And so when I’m tired and not showered I end up cranky as hell.  Which makes me miserable.  And then I’m unable to find the good in anything, and I convince myself that I’m going to be stuck in this cast for the rest of my life.

Today was a great day.  I got a great night’s sleep.  I woke up early –for me. (11:00 a.m.).  I had coffee.  I showered.  I talked to friends on the phone.  And I enjoyed my day.  One of the highlights of the day was the number of people who called and wanted to get together this week.  I have three friends coming over for lunch/beer tomorrow.  I have another friend coming over tomorrow afternoon/night.  I have friends from work coming over Wednesday night.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday and I’m trying to get an appointment with my head doctor for the same day.  I have to go back work on Thurday to discuss when I’m coming back to work. (August 1).  And then I’m meeting a friend from work for dinner Thursday night.  Suddenly my week doesn’t feel  as constricting as it did.  I just have to get through the next four days and hope that this fucking cast comes off then.

And the best thing that happened today…my roommate made dinner.  It was pasta with sauteed vegetables and garlic bread.  It was the best meal I’ve had in two weeks.  It wasn’t Chinese and it wasn’t from the diner.  It was a real meal, not eaten out of a plastic container and it was great.  It definitely an improvement over the past two weeks.